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They say fat and slut like they’re insults

BigLad@alanparker23

Replying to @ontheterraces

How would she know if he can go for hours she’s making it all up

IWillFightYou@ConnieBoBonny

Replying to @alanparker23

I’m gonna make YOU up you POS

SixteenMilk Can Get You Drunk if You Just Believe

Mabel didn’t know what to expect from Alfie’s assistant, Daisy. From the glimpses she’d gotten of her in various photographs and the information she’d gleaned thanks to social media, she knew the woman was pink-cheeked and had hair like Bettie Page. That she had a penchant for wide-legged pants that made her big round butt look amazing, and was sharp and funny and always ready to solve problems.

But that didn’t say anything about how she’d react to this. To Mabel, now in a bathrobe, hiding behind Alfie to as great a degree as she could while Alfie was busy trying to force her into letting him tidy up. “Just at least allow me to fold some clothes, please, I’m going out of my mind,” he was saying as Daisy swept into the flat.

So she couldn’t imagine this was going to go great.

And it was their first test, too.

Their first chance to see how convincing they could be.

Which made it doubly terrifying. She almost didn’t manage to step forward and greet the woman. He had to urge her with his hands. And say embarrassing things like: “Daisy, this is Mabel. Mabel, this is Daisy. Come on, come out from around me, you can say hello, she’s not going to bite you.”

Luckily, however, Daisy did not seem to care in the slightest.

She didn’t laugh. Or look at them both like they were bonkers.

She just dropped everything she was carrying onto the couch.

Then scooped Mabel into a hug. “Hello, at last,” she said.Followed by more, there was more, there wasloadsmore all tumbling out of her. “Do you know how amazing it is to see him finally with someone he’s actually bananas about? He will not stop talking about you. Mabel did this, Mabel did that, Mabel is driving me round the bend. I had to stop him wittering on about you the other day, when usually I can’t get a word out of him about anything. The first time he ever asked me for a suit it took him three weeks to confess his collar size.”

She said that last from behind her hand.

Like it was just them, whispering about him conspiratorially.

Though Mabel didn’t know how to be conspiratorial back.

She was too busy asking herself why on earth he talked about her so much.

And then reminding herself that he had probably been seeding this for a bit now. Most likely he had started right away, and that was why he seemed calm and wasn’t looking at her and decided to focus on something completely different. “Look, I told you I have a very thick neck. I’m sensitive about it, all right. And you guessed it anyway, so I don’t know why you’re telling her all that. Just trying to show me up in front of my new lass, you are,” he said.

But Daisy just laughed. “Yes. But I wasn’t trying to do it with the collar thing. I was trying to do it with the revelation that you do nothing but rave about her all the livelong day.”

“Well, she’s my girlfriend, isn’t she? Course I’m going to rave about her.”

“It doesn’t look like she knows that.”

“Well, I don’t know why. I tell her all the things I told you.”

“So you’ve said to her that she makes your knees weak, then.”

What the fuck, Mabel thought. And had to shoot Daisy a look.

Like maybe she could tell if Daisy was lying simply by studying her face.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com