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She was going to be calm.
Or at the very least, she was going to react a normal amount to him kissing her. No almost groans, no wanting to grab, no weakness in the knees, she told herself, all the way through dinner. And she could feel herself internalizing it. It felt pretty ingrained by the time they got to the short path up to her door.
Like it was something she could really do.
And then she got out her keys.
And went to put one in the lock.
And as she did she felt him lean down, andkissherfuckingneck.
Just straight up kissed her neck, like that was a normal thingpeople did all the time as they were trying to get indoors. Instead of something she was pretty sure she’d never even seen happen to Julia Roberts in eighty movies about people being really horny for Julia Roberts. There were whole erotic novels she’d read that didn’t hit whatever this goddamn thing was.
But apparently, he was just doing it anyway.
And so much so that she was starting to fail pretty badly at the task at hand.
She kept missing the lock with the key. At one point, she was fairly sure she tried to insert it into the letterbox. Then just as she thought she had some sort of handle on it, he put his whole hand on her face. He took hold of her jaw and turned her head until she was looking back at him. Until she was gazing into his eyes, and he was gazing into hers, and oh god, she knew what was coming.
She knew but was absolutely powerless to stop it.
And not just because her dignity relied on it.
Or the scam they were pulling demanded this of her.
No. It was because he’d turned every bone in her body to molten lava.
She couldn’t have moved if she tried. She just had to stand there, face turned up to his, keys and door and lock completely forgotten. And then she got to watch as he leaned down slow as warm syrup and claimed her mouth.Softly,she thought,so softly,and no different from how he’d done it before.
In fact, if anything this was a good deal more tender.
But Lord, it did not register as tender to her body.
It registered like complete filth. And when it did, she couldn’t help reacting just a little. Just with a hand on his arm, to sort of steady herself. And maybe a tiny bit of turning, so it was easier to do this. Nothing major, she told herself. But oh man, he did not seem to think so. No, he seemed to think it was now open season.
She’d given the green light to more.
And more was him making a sound into her mouth.
One that was so convincingly like a moan she could have sworn it was.
Then he pushed her back. He pushed her all the way back, until she was pressed against the door. And Lord in heaven, did he fucking kiss her. His hand actually went into her hair all the way in right up to the roots; his mouth was a fucking fever over hers. All she could feel was the heat of it, the slickness of it, the way he insinuated himself greedily against her. As if he wanted it, it seemed like. As if he truly couldn’t get enough of doing this.
And it all conspired to make her lose it, just a little bit.
A sound like a sob actually rose in her throat.
She had to get the door open before the sound could break out of her. And she did, too—she managed to get the key in the lock and push her way inside. But the problem was, now they weren’t just kissing. They were stumbling into her buildingwhilekissing. As if they were actually going to fuck, somehow.
Even though she knew that couldn’t be the case. This was all just fake, it was phony, it wasn’t the least bit real. It just didn’t feelthe least bit real, now that their legs were tangling together and his tongue was doing obscene things to the insides of her mouth and his hands were in some absolutely bonkers places. Like on the nape of her neck. And somewhere incredibly low down on her back.
That’s actually just your butt, her brain said.
And if she was being honest, it kind of was.
He was pretty much grazing it with his fingertips. And even wilder, she had this feeling—this incredibly compelling and completely impossible feeling—that he kind of wanted to just do it. Hewantedto fully grope her there.
Though of course she knew that couldn’t be true.
