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I peered at him when he pulled back and felt a tug in my heart at his pained expression. Taking him by the hand, I led us to our bedroom. He couldlove on Teddy’s mommasoon. It was time to face what happened, though.
I sat down on our bed, and he followed my lead, facing me, although he’d yet to look me in the eyes. I hated the shame he’d bared since that day.
“Tell me what happened.” My voice was barely above a whisper, as if I was talking to a traumatized kid. In a way, I was.
I was still holding his hands, and I rubbed my thumbs over them, trying to soothe him. “I still don’t know what went on that day, and I know keeping it all locked up is eating at you. Talk to me. Please.”
He opened and closed his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut in despair. I was about to end our conversation to put him out of his misery when he started.
“Besides hiding from Michael and the others, Mia wanted to access the vault to get the weaponry we’d stashed. We had all sorts of guns inside. All legal. Due to the business we led, and always being hired by the government, it was necessary for us to be prepared. Besides weapons, we also had grenades stocked.”
He shifted on the bed in discomfort, and I had to hold back a whimper at his troubled eyes. “There were two doors that gave access to the vault, right?” He nodded. “Why didn’t she just try to get out from the other door, then?” That was something I’d been wondering, and I hated myself for that. It felt like I was making her accountable for what had happened.
“She was a sitting duck. If she set foot outside, they’d be on her the next second. Besides...I think her plan was to drive them to her the whole time. Especially Michael.”
“It was a trap.”
“And she was the bait. From this moment on, we can only guess and base our assumptions on what the investigation showed, since she won’t say a word about it...about anything.” He shook his head in distress. “Just like she called, there were bombs around the place. On the inside and on the outside. After they got whatever they were looking for, they planned to bring the building down. There was a plastic explosive on the wall that divided the storage and the vault, right under the platform. We don’t think she knew about it. She laid out the grenades around the vault, coaxed the men inside it—of course, Michael would be the first one—and when there were enough of them there and Michael was too far into it so he couldn’t get out in time, she threw one of the grenades she had on her before she stormed off.
“The one she threw went off and activated the other ones. It also set off the explosive outside. Besides the C-four—the plastic explosive they’d set up—four grenades went off as well. The structure of the building was compromised, and part of it collapsed. Two of the men were arrested. One of them, Matias, managed to escape. Michael, the one who chased you and was crushed by the shelves, and the others died.”
I wouldn’t shed a tear over them.
Maybe it was morbid curiosity, although I thought it was from pain. Either way, I needed to know.
“What happened to Zach? Why was the casket closed?” He squeezed his eyes closed and fisted his hands in pain. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up. It’s just...it’s so crazy...”
“What is?”
“Not being able to see him, to look at him one last time gave me this feeling that he wasn’t inside that thing.” He fidgeted beside me, not looking me in the eye. “Like my gut telling me it wasn’t over. It was probably me being in denial. I just felt...off about it. Like I needed proof.”
He ran one of his hands into his hair, getting agitated. “There are things...” He shook his head. “I just suggested...” He pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes. “I made a mistake, I shouldn’t...I can’t talk about it. I want to, but I can’t yet. Oh my God, what have I done?”
I pulled him to me to calm him down. “Shh. It wasn’t your fault. None of this is your or Mia’s fault. It’ll take a while, a long while to heal. All that’s left for us to do is honor Zach’s memory and love as fiercely as he did. His loyalty will never be forgotten.” We stayed embraced for several minutes until his sobbing subsided. “Did you figure out what they wanted?”
“The two guys who got arrested aren’t talking much. All Aaron’s got so far is that they wanted to find the investigation we had on the cartel so far. They were also looking for a woman, but we don’t know who she is yet.”
“What about what they said while Mia and I were there? About ‘the right Bryant.’ What do you think that meant? Why did they want Zach?”
“They thought...they thought Zach was The Bryant Prodigy.”
That seemed odd, but I wouldn’t voice that to him. “Maybe that’ll take the heat off Mia.”
“That’s our hope.”Our?
I touched his cheek, welcoming the prickling of his beard. He looked up at me, staring into my eyes for the first time. “Someday, somehow, I’ll fix this.”
“There’s nothing to be fixed. Sometimes, life takes it upon itself to show us how fragile we are. How little control we have over tragedy and pain. It’s a scary realization, but it also prompts us to love harder, to be better, to fight for the ones we love. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain Haley must be in right now, because it forces me to realize I could very easily be the one feeling that pain. It hurts me beyond reason to imagine a world without you in it.
“So, I’m making it my mission to love our son, cherish you, and build our lives with as much love and devotion as I can muster.”
I wasn’t sure who advanced first. That wasn’t important. All that mattered was that I was feeling his lips on mine after what felt like forever. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was desperate. Born from pain, blossomed from craving. I yearned for his body as a reminder that we were still very much alive, and just like we could feel lacerating pain, we could also experience all-consuming love.
We tore each other’s clothes with clumsy hands, desperate to feel something other than grief. But more than that, hungry for each other. For the warmth and devotion we only felt together.
He pivoted our bodies, so he could lean back against the headboard as I straddled his legs. It felt like we hadn’t been together in forever, yet it was also like we were never apart. Our breaths mingled as we stared at each other, the tips of our noses touching. He held my face in his hands, not even trying to hide the love from his eyes. I positioned myself above him and lowered on his shaft, marveling at the feeling of him stretching me. Not once did we diver our eyes. It’d never felt so intimate. So raw or pure.
We moved in sync. Me going down as he pistoled his hips up. I thrust my hands into his hair and lost myself in the sensations only he was able to evoke. I wanted to stop that moment and live in it forever. Our motions got erratic as we sought our release. I was desperate for that ecstasy, yet I didn’t want it to end.
