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Quite the opposite. For the next couple of weeks, he showered us with attention. Every day, more than once, he texted to check on me. Every time he was in town, he’d stop by Beans to see how I was doing besides the messages. He sent me apps for pregnancy, links to articles about what we should know about babies. When I complained about my morning sickness, he brought me crackers and some lollipops he learned from Haley that might help.
It was hard to keep up my defenses when he was so keen on destroying them.
Rounding my arms around my belly, I felt a battle blooming within me. My mind was telling me to be cautious, but Benjamin had a pull on my heart, and the stupid thing was urging me to take this leap of faith and go for it.
I craved his presence, I longed for his strong arms, and I couldn’t remember one single time when I felt so whole than when I was with him.
But we had a lot of ground to cover and a lot of issues to overcome. Was it worth it?
I looked around my bakery. My dream come true. I’d poured so much of my energy into it, my little piece of heaven. That place was built on my hard work, sleepless nights, an abundance of tears, stubbornness, and faith.
There was that word again.
I had so much to lose, yet I took a leap offaithin my business, I took a chance, and I could look around with pride and joy. I had many opportunities to give up. I faced many moments when I thought that place would be impossible, but I had more reasons to make it real.
I had so much belief in a business. It felt only fair that I invested just as much belief in a man who not only was my baby’s father, he was also making me feel wanted and protected. When he wasn’t trying to push me away.
I knew there was a story he wasn’t ready to share. I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about him, because despite his mistakes, what I already knew about him made my heart swell with want and need.
As the sun descended, a mixture of purple and orange rays seeped into my shop through the glass windows. That myriad of colors was as hypnotizing as the man consuming my thoughts and heart. Both the colors and my man were captivating, bringing me wonder, and—for reasons I couldn’t pinpoint—fulfillment.
I was so entranced by the sun setting, I didn’t realize the figure that approached me.
“Hey,” she said timidly.
“Mia? What are you doing here?” I didn’t mean to snap, but I was caught off guard and might have sounded a little less than polite.
She gave me a bashful smile. “I was working on a case a couple of towns over when I thought, ‘If I come back, pass right by the Company, turn left, take the main street, and follow all the way up to the beginning, I’ll be right in her neighborhood’...so here I am.” She shrugged. “I hope I’m not intruding or anything.”
“Uhm, no...it’s okay. I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect you.”
“I figured that. Can we talk?” She peered around for a quiet place.
I couldn’t keep the wariness from my voice. “Sure...do you want something to eat, some coffee?”
She smiled more brightly. “I’d never say no to that.” She gave me her order of hot chocolate and croissant.
“There’s a vacant table in the corner.” I pointed in the direction of it. “I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you.” Maybe because of my talk with Benjamin, or because she was more open that day, or even because I was trying not to be so suspicious, I thought she looked happy at the prospect of talking to me.
Or she could be just happy she was about to eat.
As I prepared her order, I watched her walking through the place, intently enough to notice that, even though she seemed calm, her shoulders were tense. When she reached the vacant booth right in the corner, she turned and slid onto the seat against the wall, giving her a clear view of the whole bakery, door, and streets through the tall windows.
She perused the whole space as if calm and slightly curious, and I would’ve missed her cautious and calculating eyes if I wasn’t paying such hard attention. At that moment, I felt sorry for her. It couldn’t be easy to be alert all the time. It must be draining always having to be waiting for the worst, looking for evil, and fighting danger when the rest of us lived our lives as carefree as we could.
That’s when I realized she looked tired and wondered if her job was the reason, or something else. Like me and Benjamin.
I continued to watch her for a while more. With dark, tight jeans, a pair of sneakers, and a T-shirt that said “Don’t misalign my fucking chakra,” paired with her glasses, brown hair in a ponytail, and big brown eyes, she was the definition of the girl next door. But her sharp gaze showed she had more edge than she let on.
As I approached the table, she peeked up at me and once again gave me a small smile. I wanted to be suspicious, but for the first time I noticed she might not be a threat.
I put her food and beverage on the table with my own cup of hot chocolate—damn, I missed caffeine—and thought of something to say to break my awkwardness.
“You said you were working. How did it go?” Lame, I knew, but I wasn’t sure how to proceed. It wasn’t like we were friends and knew a lot about each other.
She briefly looked down, and her eyes turned worried before she schooled her features. “It could’ve been better. It also could’ve been worse, so I’m counting this as a win.” She tried to infuse cheeriness into her tone.
