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Yet he was having it with her. Something hopeful curled into life in her chest. ‘And this is why you’re never going to marry. That’s what you meant, isn’t it?’
‘What woman would take someone who was only half a man?’
‘Why do you think you’re only half a man? It’s a medical condition. Not an uncommon one. Besides, having sex isn’t the measure of a real man.’
He tugged at his earlobe, a sign he was aware of revealing heat under his skin. ‘All the same, it’s not exactly a recommendation for going into a normal marriage. Most women would baulk at it.’
‘The right woman wouldn’t.’
His eyes were ice cold. ‘You’re suggesting I try out every woman of my acquaintance like some princess trying on a glass slipper to see if it fits?’
‘That does sound kind of problematic. I was more thinking you could find someone who doesn’t find the sex thing a concern.’
‘There is only one woman I’ve ever wanted to marry, and she wants sex.’
Nausea caught in her throat as she tried to visualise the kind of woman he wanted. Someone who fitted his mother’s vision of the perfect wife? Had he asked someone and been rejected? One of the women Grace had mentioned?
‘Did you ask her if she’d be prepared to take less? It’s not like you can’t give her physical satisfaction, even if some things don’t co-operate.’
‘Would you?’
Heat was rising up her throat at the intimacy of this conversation. ‘Like a shot, if I loved him.’
He was looking at her like she was some kind of creepy crawly. ‘Why?’
‘Marriage is not only about sex. It’s about intimacy and being in the same space mentally as well as physically. There are lots of marriages where full sexual relationships aren’t possible but they’re still loving and fulfilling marriages.’
Now she sounded like a marriage counsellors manual.
He straightened his leg, turning to sit on the side of the bed, facing away from her. ‘Would you marry a man to provide a father for your children if you knew physical intimacy might never happen?’
‘That’s not something I could answer without considering a lot of other things. What kind of father he’d make. Whether we could be friends. What level of intimacy he’d want.’
‘Would you marry me for the sake of the children?’
All the air left the room; her chest tightening until she thought it might implode. How to react? Was he serious or was this another of those speculative scenarios?
‘It could be a logical option to our situation.’ It came out all breathy with a squeak that hurt her throat.
‘I don’t want you to take the children away. The whole idea of putting distance between us was me being a coward.’
‘A coward?’
‘I didn’t want to have to tell you about my … problem.’
‘It must be embarrassing. Is that why you kept away in the first place? Once you were qualified?’
‘I didn’t know it would be ongoing at that stage. The simple truth is, I was ashamed. I fell apart at the first challenge. I didn’t want to face anyone. I didn’t want to face you.’
The hopeful something around her heart expanded some more. ‘Why me, Morgan?’
‘Because I never forgot you. After everything I thought about you, about what I believed you’d done, I missed you. We’d been friends for years. I had no-one else I could talk to in the same way, someone I trusted. There were colleagues who were friends, but I was never tempted to speak to them about my issues.’
‘I missed you too. Only I wasn’t alone. I had the children and they are such a part of you, it was like having you with me.’
‘You’ve done an amazing job with them.’
‘I couldn’t have done it without your parents’ help.’
