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Taylor didn’t show up the whole rest of the day. I decided to wander around and eventually found the kitchen. I also found a room that looked like an office. I found the wi-fi password on a sticky note. I guess that’s all I would need. I had been used to living in an apartment for so long. I didn’t even know what to use all this space for. I eventually wandered to what seemed like a gym. It had walls of glass and was brightly lit inside. There I finally found Taylor. He was doing stretches, his shirt and hair sweaty. How long had he been here?
I knocked on the door before entering. He turned around and took his earbuds out.
“Are you settled?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“O.K.” He looked at me and I stared back at him. “Do you need anything?”
“I guess I don’t. I was just looking around.” I looked down at the floor. I guess we had no reason to talk. But I wanted to say one thing. “You wore my suit.”
He tilted his head. “Yeah. I thought it would be convincing.”
“Yeah.” I said monotone. “That was smart.” I left and hurried back to my room, something I didn’t want to call disappointment settling in my stomach. I had to get used to this. This new normal.
Chapter 7
Taylor
I stayed out of Lydia’s way as much as I could. I figured out when she usually left for work and started waking up earlier to miss her. She spent most of her days at the office. But when she was in my home, most of her time was spent in her room or the entertainment center she found two weeks into her stay. I spent more and more time at the gym. Sometimes I saw her pass. Sometimes I thought I saw her looking in, but whenever I turned to look, she wasn’t there or was passing by with her nose in her phone.
My grandfather kept making excuses for why he couldn’t meet with us. A few times he agreed as long as he could invite my mother along. For that I found myself lying to my grandfather even more than I already was. I needed to find an opportunity to have him meet Lydia without my mom being allowed to come, or even have the chance to show up. Jiji knew our relationship wasstrained. He didn’t know why. It was just another thing I had to keep from him.
I finally ran into Lydia on accident one Saturday afternoon. I was heading out to my therapy session for the week. She was sketching something on a pad on the kitchen counter. She looked up as I approached. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hello,” she said and then looked back.
“Hello.” What else could I say? I waited to see if she wanted to say anything more. She didn’t. “Goodbye.” I muttered and left.
***
“Don’t ask me how that makes me feel.” I rubbed a hand over my eyes.
“I won’t. But I would consider asking yourself why you don’t want me asking that.” Mrs. Tupp was tricky, I couldn’t underestimate her.
Saying “I don’t want to” was too childish. “I don’t like the way it feels, does that make you happy?”
“Honest communication always puts me in a better mood.” She grinned. “So, you have been avoiding her for all three weeks you’ve been married. And she seems to be avoiding you too. Why does this disappoint you now, when before, you struggled having a housekeeper there?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think it’s a sign you’re wanting to start connecting again. We’ve talked about the friend situation.”
“Or the lack thereof.” I added for her.
“I think you have enjoyed the time you’ve spent with Lydia. And now that you are more open to connection, you desire to spend more time with her.”
“You don’t have to explain how friendship works.”
“What I’m trying to say is that you should make an effort to connect with her again. You’ve given her signals that you don’t feel the way you do. Maybe invite her to share dinner with you again. Maybe invite her to go on a run with you. It doesn’t have to be every day, start small. Then be honest with her: that you want to be friends. Honestly, being friends with her might be healthier for the both of you since you’re going to be living together for a long time. I can’t imagine going six months without speaking to my husband.”
“We’re not actually married.”
“I know. It applies to roommates too. You both will go stir-crazy.”
“I’ve been alone for a while,” I defended myself.
“And do you enjoy the way that makes you feel?”
***
