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I returned from therapy buzzing with energy. Therapy usually tired me out, but this time I was filled with nerves. I was surprised to find Lydia still sitting where she was when I left. I got a better look at what she was sketching. It looked like a suit coat, but the fancier kind with twin tails.Ask her if she wants something to eat, said a voice that sounded suspiciously familiar to my therapist. I clenched my fists as I walked past her and went straight to the gym. If this was a normal marriage, I would take Mrs. Tupp’s advice. But I didn’t want to complicate this deal any further. I remembered what Michael told me. I shouldn’t do anything that could end up hurting her. She didn’t deserve it.
I changed into my workout clothes and started over by the free weights. I didn't count reps, I just kept going until I could feel the connections in my muscles burn. When I couldn’t lift any more, I moved to the treadmill. I put in my ear buds and blasted some pop music. People wouldn’t assume it by looking at me, but I liked the top 40 stuff. Right now, I didn’t care whatplayed, I just wanted it loud enough so I couldn’t hear. I ran and ran, probably miles. I wasn’t paying attention. I just kept staring ahead, my eyes unfocused.
I knew I was getting too tired. My vision was doubling, and my pace was slowing. I wasn’t sure where I was when I felt one tap to my wrist. I looked over at the source. Lydia with her sketch pad held tightly against her chest. Something was wrong with her. She looked upset? I didn’t do anything to her though?
“Taylor?”
“Yes?” My voice slurred on the “s”.
She tapped my wrist again and lifted her hand to my forehead. “You are overheating.”
I was still so confused, why was she here?
“I happened to walk by, and it looked like you were about to pass out.”
Did I say that last thought out loud? I was still out of it, but even I could tell that was a bad sign if I couldn’t remember what I was thinking and what I was saying.
“Why did you work out when you were so sick?” She asked.
I was sick? But I felt fine earlier? I came to more awareness of my body, a headache making itself known and my throat feeling rough. I didn’t even notice with how nervous therapy had made me feel.
“Come on.” She tapped my wrist before taking my arm. “I’m going to take you to your room. And I’m going to get you some water and whatever medicine I can find.”
That sounded good. “Yeah,” was all I could say to that.
She helped me out into the hallway and to the main staircase.
“Is it bad that I don’t know where your bedroom is? No, that’s not bad. Just unhelpful right now.” Since I wasn’t holding up my side of the conversation, she seemed to be taking myplace. I tried to smile at that but ended wincing instead. My whole body ached.
“God, you really are sick,” she muttered under her breath.
She got me up to the second floor. “Where is his room?” She wasn’t even addressing the question to me; it was more like she was asking the house. “Well. He needs to lie down now.” She helped me across the hall and into an unfamiliar room. One of the guest rooms probably. Once I was in bed I blinked and was out immediately.
I woke up to gentle tapping on my arm, I twisted away from the contact, falling out of the bed. “Who is it?” I asked, fearful of the answer.
“It’s me. Lydia. I’m so sorry.” She moved around the bed and once again helped me back up. “I left you here a few moments ago, I didn’t realize you fell so deeply asleep. I just brought you a glass of water and an ibuprofen.”
I got back into the bed and took the glass from her and took the pill then drank the water greedily.
“Go back to sleep, you don’t have work tomorrow. But if anyone important calls I promise to wake you, O.K.?” She said as I already began falling asleep again. I nodded and closed my eyes. Hopefully, if I dreamed, it would be about something like this instead of my usual nightmares.
***
I blinked slowly as I woke up. Immediately, I regretted opening my eyes. First of all, the sun was shining in. I usually woke up as the sun rose. The sun was too bright and too high in the sky. Second of all, I realized quickly I wasn’t in my room. I sat up and looked around. I was remembering last night around then. I had thought it was a guest room, but clearly by the sketches of different suits and runway photos hung around the room, and the certain clothes on the floor, this was hers.
I still felt awful, but I was coherent and didn’t fall when I stood up. I had worked so hard the night before that everything seemed to ache, but I made my way downstairs regardless. I looked around the first floor, checking each room for Lydia. Eventually I found her in the entertainment room. She was sitting up, cross legged on the couch. I saw blankets draped over the couch and cushions, stolen from other couches in the room, piled up next to her.
“Did you sleep here?” I asked. I cringed at how scratchy my voice sounded.
She startled a little and turned to me. “Yes.” She began grabbing at her hair with one of her hands. “I didn’t know where your room was. I should have found some other bedroom, but I needed to get you in bed, and I panicked. And I wasn’t sure where to sleep. I didn’t want to keep opening and closing doors looking for a bedroom, so I ended up here.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized sincerely. She shouldn’t have to take care of me. I was an adult; I should know my limits. Had I taken my meds the past few days? Probably not if I needed to work until I couldn’t think anymore.
“Don’t do that ever again. And then I’ll forgive you.” Her voice was firm.
“I won’t.” I didn’t want to drag Lydia into my shit. I didn’t ask her to dinner for that reason. Instead I ended up making her sleep on the couch like I’d kicked her out of her room. I didn’t want her to worry about me.
“Now go lay back down before you pass out again.” She gave me the shoo motion. I turned back around and headed up to my room this time. I’d have to call Mrs. Tupp about my episode. I didn’t want to disappoint her either.
