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“Nothing gives, Cole. Just needed to do some thinking.”
“About…” he prompts.
“Life,” I answer absently, not a total lie, staring out the front windshield.
“Dad. Come on. What is going on? Grady, Maggie… they tell me stuff, you know? They see it, Dad. Hell, I saw it when we were watching movies!”
I try to sidestep everything he’s saying. “Oh yeah? And what is it they see? Or think they see?”
“So I see we’re gonna play the runaround game, huh? Dad. You and Mom. You’re not yourselves. It’s not like we think you’re gonna get a divorce or anything crazy like that, but we know you’re not as tight as normal. Grady and Mags tell me how every morning when they wake up they see that Harper has ended up in your bed at night. They tell me how you guys never sit and cuddle anymore in the mornings when you drink your coffee, and how it’s been months since you’ve been on a date. They never see you guys sit on the couch together and watch movies anymore, or share a bowl of ice cream. Dad, I’m gonna repeat… what’s going on?”
My stare out the front windshield never wavers, but I can feel my oldest son’s eyes on me. Apparently his all-knowing, all-seeing eyes. One part of me is happy that my kids notice a difference in their mom and dad’s behavior. It shows that — well, until recently — we’ve shown the kids what it is to be in love. I’m glad that my kids have seen it from us and recognize the difference. The other part of me is scared shitless that it’s gotten so bad between Tess and me that the kids notice it.
“Dad,” Cole pushes.
“Cole. Buddy, I don’t know…” I sigh then take a deep breath before looking at him. “I wish I did. I’m not going to lie to you. Things aren’t normal with your mom and me right now. No, we are in no way even contemplating a divorce or anything close to it but yes, we are feeling a bit… muddled. It’s been a long time since we’ve had time to ourselves, but I don’t want you to worry about it. It’s just a busy time for us right now. With Grady’s football, Maggie’s volleyball, and Harper busy with her horse-riding lessons and just being an all-around pain in the ass when it comes to sleeping, we’ve had much on our minds. Not to mention, both of us have this thing we call jobs. Takes quite a bit out of us old people,” I say with a smile I know doesn’t reach my eyes but hope it will lighten the mood. It doesn’t work.
“I don’t understand why Harp isn’t in her own bed,” he says, going for the most obvious snafu in our dilemma.
“Oh she starts there. She just runs her tiny butt into our room every single night.”
“That ain’t right, Dad.”
“No kidding,” I scoff.
“Dad,” he says quietly.
I sit, silent, thinking about everything that I just told my son. My son. I’m a moron.
“Dad,” Cole says, louder this time.
“Yeah?”
“Here’s the deal. You and Mom need to get away. Not just going to dinner or a movie by yourselves. Like actually get away where you have time to be together.”
My son. I’m a moron and he’s a genius.
“Right. And who’s going to take care of the kids, not to mention that we can’t just leave with everything going on with Grady.”
“Grady’s fine, Dad. Bri’s fine. Dawson isn’t pressing charges because… well, because Bri set his dumb ass straight. Lauren, Josh… they’ll help. You know they will. Just, I was home for three days, and I could see it. You guys need some time together to sort it out. Dad, you’ve gotta do something to shake it up,” he says completely serious before his grin turns mischievous. “And… now that I feel a crazy amount of weird for talking to you about all of this, I’m going to get out here, head home, and grab my stuff to head back to school. You need to get home, too.”
“I know, kid, I will.”
“Like, soon, yeah? Mom looked broken at dinner tonight without you there.” He finished the last sentence in a much quieter, deeper voice than I’d heard from him before. And if the desired effect was to break my heart and wrench my gut, he achieved it.
He gets out and slams the door shut, but a second later the door opens back up, and Cole pops his head in with a shit-eating grin on his face before dropping the bomb of all bombs. “Oh, and do it now. Remember, I’m bringing Mia home for Thanksgiving, and I want you guys all better by then.”
My eyebrows furrow in confusion, and my mouth opens, closes, opens, and finally my voice emerges in a whisper and gradually turns into a somewhat girly shriek. “Mia? MiaMia?As in… MIA!? Cole! Mia is who you’re bringing home?”
His response? His smile only widens before he closes the door and raps on the hood of the pickup a couple times like he hadn’t just told me something epic, as the kids call it. I’m staring dumbfounded, watching as walks to his car, my mouth hanging open. He shoots me a wide grin over the top of his car before sliding in and driving away.
And then I remember that Josh and Lauren are going to Arizona to visit her parents for the holiday. It all makes sense. Mia and Cole actually make total sense. They’re both pre-med — well, sort of, she’s going to school to be an OB nurse. And they’re both amazing kids. Suddenly, I can’t wait to get home. I have some incredible news that Tess will want to hear, and I get to be the one to give it to her. To see her smile at me.
* * *
On my way home, I call Tess’s brother James to see if he is willing to come over for the week and watch the kids. Of course he agrees, which I expected. I’m surprised he hasn’t just moved back closer to home yet. I think he’s fighting off the inevitable. I pull in the driveway and park in my spot in the garage then step inside the house. A plate of leftovers is in the microwave, and I don’t see anyone around. In fact, the house seems oddly quiet. But it’s almost eight, so I assume the kids are either doing their homework or watching TV in the basement. Then I hear voices coming from the living room. I step closer and realize it’s Tess and Andy. They’re both sitting on the large, chocolate-brown sectional.
Apparently I’m a creeper because I stand on the other side of the doorway that leads into the living room behind the wall so they can’t see me but I can hear them. I don’t even know why.
