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“I don’t fucking think so.” He began to reach for me. “I’ve been patient, but you and me, we’ve got shit to discuss. I’m done waiting.”
“Cris,” I started, then yelled in surprise as he bent down and threw me over his shoulder. “Cris!”
He ignored me, glancing to Lauren. “We’re going. You need a ride?”
Her eyes were still big, but she was smiling widely. “Nah. My friend is coming over. She can pick me up. Plus, I think there’s going to be fireworks here and I can’t wait to watch it. I’ll tell you everything.”
“Fine.” He swung around, going to his truck.
Amber ran after us. “Maren!”
He paused, but just barely.
She rushed out, “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about Toya. I—I’m sorry.”
I waved her off. “Honestly, I should’ve expected it.”
“You’re not mad at me? You still want to be friends?”
“No, Amber.”
Her eyes fell.
Cris was on the move again.
She followed as he opened the passenger door, putting me inside. He glanced at her once before scorching me with a warning look. “You fucking leave and I’ll—”
“If I were to go anywhere, it wouldn’t be to stay here.”
He scowled, but moved past Amber, going to his side of the truck.
She gave me a sad smile. “I liked having you here.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything else. We both knew the deal. There were reasons she was friends with Toya, reasons she hung out with the band, reasons she liked to get drunk and do drugs to get numb just like me. It just happened that my reason stopped making sense the second I woke up in Cris’ bed this morning. I had things to tell him and things to tell Mackenzie.
As Cris got in, his door shut, and he started the engine, he barked, “Shut the door.”
I reached for it, pulling it closed.
Amber didn’t say anything more, and she didn’t wave, but she watched me go, just like I watched her until I couldn’t anymore. It was a goodbye in our way, and it was significant for us both.
I said under my breath, though I knew Cris would be able to hear, “Hope you face your demons too one day, Amber.”
Cris asked tightly, his jaw clenched, “That’s what I am to you? One of your fucking demons that you were trying to run away from?”
I looked his way, feeling a sudden sadness come over me. “No, Cris. You were my Christmas song.” I looked away, adding, “Until you broke my heart.”
9
MAREN
How did I know he was going to drive us to his house? If I’d been a betting woman, I would’ve not made anything because I would’ve been betting with myself, but I was right when Cris wheeled into his parking spot. He was out of the truck, his door slamming shut the next second, and he wasn’t waiting. He stormed inside.
A part of me considered calling an Uber, or walking. I could’ve done with the exercise and I had all my stuff now, but I’d started this. Or, well, Cris did. Or Mac did? Or, no. Lauren did because she’s the one who mentioned where Jude’s band was playing last night, so Lauren started this. Lauren could finish it.
That made no sense, but I was procrastinating because I already knew what I was going to do and I was terrified.
Reaching for the door, I climbed out and went inside.
