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He spoke again, his voice vibrating through his chest underneath me, relaxing me even more, “No matter what your father did, I’d never let him hurt you. Vicky wouldn’t. Howard wouldn’t. We all know Lo would go insane on him. Roger. Their girls. My nieces and nephews. Will. Even Harmony wouldn’t let him. You’d have a wall of people between you and him. We just got here today, but I know that once we get settled, Heather, Channing’s wife, is going to adopt you and you’ll have all their protection too. You’ve met that group, but I don’t think you realize how protective they are of each other. You have almost an army of your own to rally around you, protect you, and that’s in any facet needed. Either literally or through going to the press. I know you’ve been scared all your life, but you don’t have to be anymore.”
He was saying all the right words. How did he always know the right thing to say? It was like his superpower, besides the sex, and besides his usual athletic abilities, which the entire nation could attest to how great those skills were.
But his best superpower was in how he loved me.
“I know after Ben, you went back into hiding, but you don’t have to. You really don’t. You can say and do whatever you’d like. You want to go to Congress on how they should better protect chickens, I’m with you. Just like you’re with me. You got me to pull my head out of my ass and here I am, not just letting Monroe come over to help carry our furniture inside, but I called and asked him to help. Monroe is not a buddy that’d do that as a favor, be okay with some small talk over a beer before he’d head out for his own place. Monroe’s an all-in type of friend.” I wasn’t looking, but I could hear his glare. “Which is annoying, but knowing that, I’m still friends with him. That says everything about you. Whatever you want to do, you have your army behind you.”
I lifted my head to look at him, and I whispered, “I want to have a baby.”
He didn’t blink. He didn’t react. He held my gaze and his own warmed at the words. He smiled after, slowly, and I saw how genuine it was. He framed my face, both of his hands cupping the sides of me and he half lifted me as I raised myself, my mouth going to his, and just before they touched, he whispered, “Will you marry me, Billie Harm?”
I gasped, jerking out of his hands and sitting up.
My heart was in the middle of its own stampede. “Are you serious?” I frowned. “Or is this a joke? Are you teasing me?”
He held my gaze, long and serious and drawn out. That tenderness never went away. It only increased, and he sat up too. Reaching into the nightstand beside our bed, the nightstand that was just put there today, he pulled out a little box.
I started crying. The tears I’d been trying to keep from shedding, even though I knew I was going to shed them, they were free-flowing now. I was smiling so hard, so wide, that it was actually hurting. I cupped both of my hands over my face as he got off the bed, kneeling down and he held the box up to me, opening it.
I had no idea what the ring looked like.
My tears were blinding me.
It was there and it was sparkling and it was so pretty.
He asked again, “Will you marry me, Billie?”
I nodded, everything in me was overflowing, and as he lifted the ring and slid it onto my finger, he paused once again as he said throatily, “I would love to have a baby with you, and I don’t care what comes first. The marriage or the baby. Just as long as you’re included.”
I laughed, still sputtering out my tears of happiness, but Brett stood and picked me up, then he laid me down and crawled on top of me.
We didn’t do the sex that night.
We did the lovemaking, which was also known as the slow sex, which was so good too.
ONE MORE EPILOGUE: BILLIE
THREE MONTHS LATER
I was nervous. Really nervous.
If I’d been nervous thinking about telling Brett that I wanted to have a baby, then that’d been a—no. They were different situations and different reasons for being nervous.
This one was about telling a secret I’d had all my life and waiting for them to hate me, condemn me, or get mad that I’d lied to them as long as they knew me.
Brett and I were in Texas and we’d just parked at the farm where everyone had gathered. Or the adults. I’d asked everyone to be here, even Travis, but had asked for a babysitter to take care of the kids. It wasn’t appropriate to have them here, not for today.
And thinking all those thoughts, as Brett turned the engine off and started to get out of the vehicle, I didn’t move. I couldn’t.
I couldn’t tell them.
I’d lose them.
I’d lose everyone.
Everyone who supported and rallied around me when it came out who Ben was, what Ben was.
I’d been lying to them too.
