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My eyes held onto his, almost clinging in a way.
He frowned slightly, brushing some of my hair back from my forehead. Still in that soft tone, he said, “We’ve not married because you wanted to wait. Remember?”
I bit down on my lip. He was right about that too. “When we talked about that, it was right after Ben.” I looked away.
“Yeah, but I’ve just been waiting for you to bring it back up. I’ll marry you tonight if you said the word.”
I looked back. “You would?”
“Of course I would.” A gentle smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You’re my forever, Billie. You were my forever the second I saw you at the news show that morning. I just didn’t catch up until you began talking about chickens. But you’re it for me. There’ll never be anyone else. It’s always been you for me. You want to get married tonight?”
My heart was going to burst out of me. To go from being so nervous to this? The sunshine. He always made me feel it in these moments. “I don’t want to get married tonight.”
“Tomorrow?”
I smiled a little. “I don’t want to get married tomorrow.”
“The day after?”
I laughed, reaching for him again, both of my hands sliding around his neck and lacing together. “Not the day after.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
He relaxed more on top of me, and he moved against me where I could feel his dick. He was hard, and the sunshine grew more inside me because I also really loved his dick. So much.
And I loved how he began moving it against me, rubbing and grinding.
I groaned, my eyes closing, beginning to move with him, loving how I’d learned that if I pushed my hips off the bed and began rubbing up and down over his dick, clothed or not, Brett went still because he loved that sensation too. I was about to do just that, but he stopped moving.
My eyes popped open. “What? Why’d you stop?”
His eyes were dark with lust but also narrowed on me. “You need to tell me what’s going on with you.” He pressed a hand to my chest, his palm flat, right over my heart. “Let me in, Billie.”
I melted. Who wouldn’t at that move?
“Not fair,” I retorted, but he only chuckled and waited. Here we go. I blurted out, “I know you’re old.”
“What?”
“I don’t mean like that, but I mean in child-rearing age. You’re old, but I’m not. I’m younger than you, but I’ll be too old soon and—”
He sat up, all business now. He knew where I was going with this. “You told me you didn’t want kids.”
I went back to chewing on my bottom lip. This was stressful. “Well, that was before you. And when we had that talk, Ben had just happened and I told you my secret. Having a kid would—well, you know the reasons I was nervous about having a kid.”
He said it bluntly, “You were worried about your father’s reaction, if he found out.”
My throat was searing, especially when I heard him say my other fear back to me, putting it in words. It was different feeling it, thinking it, then hearing it spoken out loud. “Well, yeah. He’s not a good person and there’s a reason my mom did everything she did. But yeah, if he found out, how would he react and would he want to be in some part of our kid’s life? I mean, there’d be no way. You and I would never let that happen, but he might try, and if he did…” I couldn’t say it.
If he did, chaos would ensue, and it’d be really bad chaos.
We survived the chaos my brother put us through and my dad would be a different storm altogether.
Brett went back to studying me. He murmured, “It’d be okay.” When he saw I couldn’t say anything, he moved to the side of me and pulled me into his arms. He cradled me, relaxing down on the bed, and I was half lying on top of him. One of his hands rubbed down my back. The other began toying with my hair.
I let one of my legs slip between his, resting completely against him.
