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“Are you sure you aren’t just making it bigger in your head?I know you’ve been in a bit of a dry spell.”
“It’s not because of that,” I snapped.
Although he wasn’t wrong about the dry spell.I’d always been careful about my sexual partners since Jenna was born, never bringing women home when she was there, except for one time when she was sixteen and I didn’t know she’d come to my house after getting in a fight with Vanessa until the next morning.Fortunately, my date for the night had left as soon as we were done, so Jenna never saw her.
Sadie was there that night too, I suddenly remembered.And I couldn’t stop my brain from imagining the idea of her watching me that night—even though I know she didn’t.She never acted any differently toward me after that, at least not that I noticed.But maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention.She made comments last night in the throes of passion that implied she’d thought of us together a lot—definitely more than just since the ball.
Wyatt’s eyebrows formed slashes above his eyes.“You haven’t been flirting with her, have you?Like grooming her, because that shit is not okay.”
Anger flashed through me.“Fuck you, Wyatt.No, of course I haven’t.She was always just Jenna’s friend.I never once looked at her like that.”
“Not even when she pranced around your backyard in a bikini when Jenna would throw her pool parties.”
“No, not even then.What kind of asshole do you think I am?”
“I’m just making sure you’re not taking advantage of this girl.”
“Taking advantage of her is the last thing I want to do.”
“So what do you want?”he asked.
I scrubbed my face and then stared out the window, wondering if she’d woken up yet and how she felt finding me already gone.“I can’t have what I want,” I admitted, my voice low.
“I’m going to ask again and I want a better answer.What do you want?”
“I want her.”It felt good to admit it out loud, even if it wasn’t possible, even if I could only say it this one time.Jenna would never be okay with it, and I couldn’t lose my daughter.Everything I’d done since she was born had been for Jenna in some way, shape, or form.To better her life and be someone she was proud of.She’d hate me if she knew I had sex with Sadie.
I couldn’t even begin to fathom the betrayal she’d feel, from both Sadie and me.
“But you don’t think you can have her,” Wyatt said, already reading my thoughts.I absently wondered what body language I was giving off that allowed him to read me so openly.I needed to make sure I had corrected it by the time I saw Jenna so I wouldn’t be nearly as transparent with her.
“Ican’thave her.She’s Jenna’s best friend, but apart from that there’s also a twenty year age difference.We’re too different.”
Even if we didn’t feel different last night at dinner.Our conversation flowed easily—easier than any date I’d been on in the last few years.In fact, I never once thought about our age difference.I couldn’t think about anything but her.
Wyatt watched me closely, his head slightly tipped to the side.Whatever he saw must have stopped him from pushing me to elaborate anymore.“So what are you going to do?”
I rubbed my eyebrow and then looked at him.“Avoid her.”
“Seems like the coward’s way out.Plus, won’t that make things worse?You fuck her and then ghost her like a callous college guy?I expected more from you, brother.”
“Then what the fuck should I do?”I asked him, frustrated and pissed at myself because the idea of hurting her felt like a knife to the gut.
“You need to talk to her and at the very least clear the air.If you never want it to happen again, then you need to make that clear.She deserves better than being ignored.”
I took a breath, trying to calm myself.“I know you’re right, but Wyatt, you don’t understand.”I leaned forward, my eyes pleading for him to comprehend the minefield he was asking me to walk into.“If I see her again so soon, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist her.She’sthataddicting.”
Wyatt sat back against the booth, and a slight smile lifted the corner of his mouth.“Looks like you need to find that strength or figure out how to have what you want.”
I was so fucked.
Don’t finger bang your daughter’s best friend
TRAVIS
Wyatt’s advice became a relentless mantra in my mind until I couldn’t stand it anymore.So the next day, I went back to Sadie’s apartment.I would’ve preferred to do things over the phone—it was safer for both of us that way—but I didn’t have her number and there was no way in hell I was going to ask Jenna for her best friend’s phone number.
I could only imagine what a disaster that conversation would be.
