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“Quinn, I’m sorry. I had to get away from your dad. He was right next to me,” she informs me, shocking me because I’m sure he would have heard my admission and flipped his shit. “He didn’t hear you, but I didn’t want to say anything knowing he was close enough to hear. Okay. So, you’re pregnant. What does Wicked say about it?”
“He just found out. I’m about ten weeks pregnant and just found out. Had everything confirmed by two doctors and even got an ultrasound done too. I don’t know what’s going on between Wicked and me at this point, Mama. He’s so different here. While I don’t feel he’s cheated on me, he sure as fuck isn’t pushing the girls away from him when they open the clubhouse to parties. The last one a girl was all over him and I played pool with Brick. Wicked didn’t come over to me once. That was the night I was gonna tell him about the baby. Instead, I’ve been hiding from him and Brick. Wanted Wicked to at least know why he was getting his ass kicked by my brother before it happened,” I confess to my mom as the tears continue to roll down my face. “Why am I not good enough to be his ol’ lady, Mama?”
“Quinn, that’s not how you were raised to think!” she admonishes me. “You’re a strong as fuck woman who knows her worth. If Wicked isn’t being the man he was here, then you do what you have to do for you and that baby. Your dad and I will support whatever decision you make. Including coming home. However, if you want to stay there and try to make things work, then I’ll support that for you too. This is something you need to figure out what to do and then go from there. Your dad, Brick, and I can't make this decision for you. This is something you have to work out for yourself, baby. For now, I won’t say anything to your dad. I don’t like keeping this from him, but you have to have a plan in place before you talk to him. We both know that. Or he’ll make the trip to Cedar Bay and Wicked won’t like the outcome,” my mom says, telling the truth as she always does.
“I know. I’ll figure it all out. I really didn’t give Wicked a chance to respond to anything because I’m so upset. I’ve given him all of myself and have let him take advantage of it for longer than I’d like to admit. Even to myself. So, for now, we both have some thinking to do and then we can put plans in place moving forward. I told him I wasn’t going to force him to be a part of our baby’s life though. That’s not something I’d ever do to him. I love him, mom, but I can’t keep going on this way. He’s either all in or I’m out,” I state, knowing deep in my heart this is how it has to be.
“That’s good, Quinn. Make sure you keep me up to date with everything and we can figure out how to tell your dad when you’re ready. For now, take care of yourself and make sure you follow everything the doctor tells you. I love you, Quinn. Tell your brother to call home once in a while to let us know he’s still alive,” she says, laughter filling her voice because we both know Brick sucks when it comes to keeping in touch with anyone who isn’t right with him.
“I will. I love you, Mom. Tell Daddy I love him too and I’ll call soon. I have to go to work soon.”
Hanging up the phone, I sigh and take a minute to compose myself before heading to the bathroom. Taking a quick shower, I get out and finish getting ready to head to work. I don’t want to work today, but I need the money for the baby. Every penny I earn moving forward will be spent on him or her. It’s not like I spend a lot living at the clubhouse. Though, that may change depending on what Wicked decides to do. If he wants nothing to do with me and the baby moving forward, then I won’t be staying here at the clubhouse. I doubt I’ll run home either. Personally, I want to prove to myself that I can do this on my own. So, I might find somewhere to move between Cedar Bay and Dander Falls. I know the Phantom Bastard kids started a club not far from here. I can move closer to them and my dad and brother will know I’m still protected. It’s something to think about.
Chapter Two
Wicked
I DON’T KNOW what the fuck I’m doing with my life. Quinn is the love of my life and I’ve loved her for so long I don’t remember a time when she wasn’t on my mind. I swear from the time I was thirteen, I knew Quinn would be my girl. I’d make her my ol’ lady, marry her, and we’d raise our family together. Everything was set in my mind and I knew it was going to happen, it was just a matter of time before everything came together. Now, I’ve got her, but I’m fucking it all up. Yes, I’m a flirt, but that’s all I am. I never take it further than flirting and would never cheat on her. Some consider flirting cheating, but I don’t. I’m the same way with everyone. It’s not just the girls who come in to party on the weekends we open up the clubhouse to outsiders. I do it with everyone. I don’t even honestly think about it. My mom, Riley, says I get it from my dad and I’m not sure if I believe it or not.
Growing up in the club, I watched my parents close. My dad, Gage, is the President of the Wild Kings chapter in Dander Falls. Before he was with my mom, he had something with Bailey from the Clifton Falls chapter of the club. She was pregnant and lost their baby. So, I have an older brother named Ryan. At least Bailey thought she was having a boy so that’s what they went with. There’s a memorial at the clubhouse for my dad and he spends time out there when he needs a break from everything. We all have spent time there every now and then. I did when I needed insight into a problem I couldn’t work out for myself.
Anyway, my dad is completely devoted to my mom. She’s the love of his life and he gives her everything she could ever want or need. It’s clear to see the love they have for one another and they don’t try to hide it from anyone in the club or outside of it. None of the men hide the love they feel for their women. I always vowed to love Quinn the same way. Recently, I guess I’ve let myself get lost and forget about the promises I made to myself when we were growing up. Instead, I’ve been pushing her away and she’s reached the point of no return. If I don’t get my head out of my ass, she’s going to leave me and that’s the last thing I want.
I don’t know why I haven’t made her my ol’ lady yet. It’s the next natural step for us. We’ve been together for so long that I figured by now she’d be wearing my rag and we’d be talking about getting married. Instead, I let the club, business, and this shit with Claw become my sole focus and pushed everything else to the side. Quinn isn’t someone I’d want to push to the side. Still, that’s what I’ve been doing and I have to figure out what the fuck I’m doing.
The night she mentioned before leaving me here in the pool room, I remember so little of. I was drunk as fuck and that’s no excuse for letting some other woman put her hands on me when she’s not who I want. I remember standing with a few of the guys from the club and we were talking and laughing. We were trying to blow off steam after a long as fuck week and trying to dig up any information on Claw that we could. When the doors opened to let the men and women from town in, I didn’t even pay attention to what was happening around me. A few girls joined our group and I ignored them as I often do. One of them was very fucking pushy and kept rubbing up on me and trying to get me to take her to my room. I remember refusing her, but I didn’t push her away or make her leave. Hell, I didn’t leave and that’s what I should’ve done. Instead, I remained where I was and continued drinking while ignoring the woman I love.
Now, she’s pregnant and thinking she’s gotta do this shit on her own. That I’m not gonna be at her side every step of the fucking way or be a part of our son’s or daughter’s life. I did that shit. I’m the one who made her feel as if she doesn’t mean anything to me and that I couldn’t give two flying fucks whether she’s in my life or not. How the fuck do I fix this mess I created? Where the hell do I go from here?
“Wicked, what the fuck you doin’ in here?” Otter, my best friend, walks in the room carrying his twins, Dakota and Belle.
“I finally managed to catch up to Quinn for a few minutes and this is where she was. She dropped some truth on me and then took off,” I tell him honestly as I avert my attention to the water in front of me.
“What kind of truth? The kind about you bein’ a fuckin’ moron and treatin’ her like shit? Or somethin’ more?” he questions me as he stops to get the twins ready to get in the pool.
“The kind about me bein’ an ass to her. Said I treat her like a glorified friends with benefits. That she couldn’t do it anymore and if I wanted to live my life as a single man, then that’s what I could do. Said somethin’ about not makin’ her my ol’ lady yet and then dropped the biggest bomb of all. I don’t even know if anyone else knows. Includin’ her parents. I’m gonna guess they don’t, but I can’t tell at this point,” I answer him, not letting on that she’s pregnant.
“She’s pregnant,” Otter states as if it’s a well-known secret.
“How the fuck do you know that?” I question, turning to see him getting in the pool before his son and daughter.
“I’ve been watchin’ her. She’s been sick as fuck, is careful about what she eats and the smells she lets herself be around, and a few other signs like not drinkin’ and leavin’ if there’s even the hint of a party so she doesn’t have to explain herself to anyone. You’re still in one piece so I know Brick and Steel don’t know yet. I’m not sure about her mom though because she tells Harley everythin’. So, what are you gonna do about this shit? Quinn needs you to be all in and actin’ the way you have isn’t showin’ her she’s the one you want. You’re showin’ her she’s not important to you and that every other fuckin’ female is more important than she is. Why the fuck haven’t you made her your ol’ lady yet? I thought you’d do that shit before we left to move down here permanently.”
“There’s really no reason I haven’t made her my ol’ lady yet. Fuck, I got her rag and engagement ring in my room already. I haven’t even moved her in my room or told her that’s where I want her every fuckin’ night. I’m fuckin’ this all up and deserve my ass kicked by Brick and Steel for hurtin’ her. That’s never been my intention, but that’s what I’m doin’.”
“So fuckin’ fix it,” he states as Willow, his ol’ lady, makes her way into the room and sits next to me.
I watch Willow sit down because she’s starting to show with her pregnancy and I don’t want her to hurt herself because she slipped or something. Not only would I never forgive myself, but Otter will kick my ass since I’m the one not in the pool and right here next to her. Once she’s sitting and I know she’s not gonna slip into the pool, only because she’s clumsy as fuck, do I let my attention wander from her.
“You gonna make her your ol’ lady, Wicked? Quinn deserves the world and to have someone strong at her side. If you can’t be that man, you need to step aside and let someone else have her,” Willow says, watching her kids in the water with their dad. “I don’t know anyone here who deserves to be happy more than Quinn.”
“I know. Fuck! Why is this shit so hard?” I ask no one in particular.
“Get on your phone and make the call to Steel, Wicked. Get his permission to marry his daughter before you do another fuckin’ thing. Then you need to talk to Brick about the same shit. Those two men love Quinn with every piece of their soul and you have to do right by them for her,” Otter says, watching his kids as they splash and have fun.
Pulling out my phone, I call Steel. This is not a conversation I want to have, but one that’s necessary.
“My baby girl better be okay,” Steel answers his phone, his voice full of lethal intentions if I tell him something is wrong with her.
