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But you can only be scared for people so many times before the intensity of that feeling drops off and resentment begins to grow in its place.
Any feelings I had for my mother crumbled the night she not only let her sick, disgusting boyfriend touch me, but fucking encouraged it.
There are no loving, familial feelings left inside me for that woman, but still, to know she’s dead… to know she’s dead because someone killed herfor meis fucking wild.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” I tell him honestly.
“You said you had no desire to repair your relationship,” he reminds me.
“No… I didn’t.”
“That’s why I didn’t want you to report what happened. I didn’t want anyone knowing we had motives. I hadn’t determined how I would do it yet. I guess I assumed murder would be harder than it is, but it really wasn’t a big deal. The hunting part was fun.”
“Okay. Um… Jet, you’re not supposed to… murder people,” I say feeling so awkward I could die.
He shrugs. “You’re not supposed to betray your own daughter or rape people, either.”
“That’s true. But…”
“Look, I’m not an idiot, Kennedy. I know murder is considered wrong.”
“Yes.”
“But so are a lot of other things people do, and in this case, I was comfortable being judge, jury, and executioner. At least I made sure justice was served.”
I don’t know how to process everything he’s saying and also find my way to what I’m supposed to say in response.
Sure, there have been dark moments when I wished them both dead, but I would have never acted on it.
I think it’s within normal range to have thoughts like that in dark moments, but it’s decidedly not normal to act on them.
I don’t know what the responsible thing to do here is. We all know I’m not really a stepmother to the boys. I’m Jet’s age, and Jonathan is older than I am. I’m part of the family, but not in a maternal capacity. From Jet’s perspective, I probably look like the family fuck doll at this point—not that he’s ever respected me any less for it.
Milo is the only parent in our household, so maybe it’s not up to me to lecture Jet for what he’s done, but… I feel like I should saysomething.
I swallow, then clear my throat. I look down at the beach, back up at Jet, then around at the remote area of the beach he brought us to.
Still not completely sure I’m safe if I don’t accept this “gift” of his, and don’t really want to put my neck on the line for two creeps.
I look back at Jet. “This isn’t something you plan to make a habit of, right?”
He shakes his head.
I’m still lost, but trying to find my way. “Okay. So, that’s good. While you obviously got away with it this time, there’s no guarantee you always would, and… I think we should discuss the… moral ramifications of taking lives at some point, but tonight probably isn’t that night.”
He cracks a roguish smile, the first one I can ever remember seeing on him that resembles one of his dad’s or brother’s. “No, obviously not.”
“My wedding night and all.”
He nods again, shoving his hands into his pockets. So casual.
“Um… So… I guess, thank you? I don’t know how I feel about this present, but itwasvery thoughtful.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
A shiver goes down my back at those words, at the sensation of proximity to someone so cavalier about committing cold-blooded murder. Who says the hunt was the fun part…
I really, really just want to get off this part of the beach and get back to Milo and Jonathan. “We should probably head back.”
