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I don’t know how I fooled myself into believing he might not notice if I was slick about it. My move fails to accomplish anything. When I come back and stay on my side of the bed, Silvan just scoots over into my space, locks his arms around my waist, and pulls me back against him.
“What are you thinking?” he asks.
“Lots of things,” I answer honestly.
My stomach is twisted up in knots. I want to pull out of his embrace again, but he’s left me nowhere to go. If I move any farther toward the edge of the bed, I’ll fall off.
And then he’ll just pick my ass up and pull me back into his arms on the bed.
“I need to go home tomorrow.”
“Why?”
He asks casually enough, but his question surprises me. “I’ve already told you.”
“You’ve given me all the bullshit reasons, yeah. Not the real one.”
“You know the real one, Silvan. I haven’t made it a secret, have I? I don’t…”
I don’t know what to say. Anything I could say that’s true feels mean.
I don’t want to be with you.
Mean.
I’m only here because you forced me to be. As soon as you stop forcing me to be, I won’t be here anymore.
Also feels mean.
The thought of saying anything like that to him makes me sad, which I guess is absurd, but despite his forcefulness in pursuing me, Silvan isn’t reallymeanto me. I don’t want to be mean to him, either.
I just want to be let go.
“When I was a little girl, I lovedBeauty and the Beast.”
His lips tug up. “Yeah?”
I nod. “It was my favorite movie. I’d watch it in any form, but the Disney cartoon was my favorite. I’d watch it over and over again.”
“When we have a little girl, we’ll have to watch it with her.”
Oh my god, Silvan.
“We’re not having a little girl.”
He shrugs his shoulders but doesn’t let me go. “With our son, then.”
Despite myself, I find myself thinking about it too much. “Actually, I think if I have a daughter, I’ll navigate her away from the classics for a good long while. She’s starting off withFrozen. Sneaky villains preying on sheltered princesses so you learn not to trust so quickly, not falling for the kidnapper. Just in case that shit got in early,” I say, tapping my head.
Silvan laughs, squeezing me a little tighter. He kisses the side of my face and rumbles, “That mean you’re falling for me, farm girl?”
My stomach flutters, and I swallow. “No. Where I was going with that before you distracted me with talk of babies was… Have you seen the movie?”
He nods. “When I was a kid.”
“Well, obviously, she started falling for him while she was still his captive.”
“Right.”
