AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His lips tug up. He glances around the coffee shop, which I didn’t realize had filled up with the post-school crowd. “Just coming in for my usual cup of coffee before I head home, but it seems someone has taken my table.”
My tummy flutters at the teasing censure in his gaze when he looks at me. “Me? Oh, I’m sorry,” I say without thought, turning and grabbing my papers so I can put them away and leave him to his spot.
A firm hand comes down on the papers, and he meets my gaze, leaning close enough that I can smell him. “You don’t have to do that.”
I swallow.
“But,” he continues, his tone light since he can see how nervous he makes me, “maybe I could join you?”
Oh, Silvan wouldn’t like that.
I don’t know where that thought comes from, but itinfuriatesme and solidifies my decision.
I sit back down, my heart hammering and my skin hot, and nod my consent for him to join me.
My area is a mess of open textbooks and scrambled notes. I clear a side for him, pushing my notebook, pens, and highlighters over to my side so he’s not crowded.
Professor DeMarco’s lips quirk as he watches me. “Not comfortable taking up space in my presence, hmm?” he murmurs.
I feel woefullyyoungaround him, like a little girl without a single clue.
Like right now.
My trusty brain absolutely fails me, and I can’t for the life of me figure out the answer he wants.
“I’m an introvert,” I mumble by way of explanation, but like anything I ever say to him, it feels inadequate. “I’m not overly comfortable around anyone.”
He watches me as he takes another sip of his coffee. “Does that make college challenging?” When my gaze flickers to him, he adds, “I mean socially. You’re clearly an intelligent girl, so I’m sure the academic aspects are no trouble for you.”
Even subtle praise from him feels like Uncle Scrooge handing over a bagful of money, so I find myself glowing under it. “Thank you. Um, I don’t know. The social aspect doesn’t matter much to me, but I guess it’s a bit harder. My mom has been on me to put myself out there and make friends, but I just… don’t really want to.”
“Have you always been that way? Must have been a constant struggle if she pushed you in an unnatural direction.”
No.
I don’t like admitting it and have made it a forced habit not to, but for whatever reason, when he asks, I tell the truth.
“No,” I say softly. “I wasn’t always like this.” I swallow, the words feeling unusually thick and heavy as they roll off my tongue.
The admission causes an uncomfortable stinging sensation behind my eyes. Light moisture gathers, but it’s not enough to form tears, so I’m not worried I’ll start crying.
“Sometimes I feel like I was meant to be someone else. Iwantedto be someone else. I think I was on the path to be, but… my natural inclinations tend to lead me toward bad situations where I get… hurt. I can’t always trust my instincts,” I say, shaking my head. “They’re not very good.”
His brow furrows with concern, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I guess it’s just easier not to let anyone close, you know? Anytime I do, I get hurt, and I just… I’m tired of hurting.”
Self-conscious of the deeply personal thing I just revealed to my professor, of all people, I grab my hot chocolate and gulp down the rest.
“Well, I better go,” I say, not waiting for him to say anything else. “I have a ton of homework, and I need to go to my mom’s tonight, so…” I keep my gaze directed away from him as I gather my papers.
“Sophie, if you ever want to talk—aboutanything, not just the course material—my office is always open. I’m generally inthere all alone during office hours anyway,” he says with a faint smile as he catches my gaze. “I wouldn’t mind the company.”
My stomach rocks when I meet his eyes. I nod, but I look away quickly, clumsily shoving papers into my bag. “Thanks. I might take you up on that.”
“I hope you do.”
His words feel intimate and make my stomach rock even more.
