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“Forever.”
That stops me in my proverbial tracks. “Wait… what?”
He laughs but not a casual, fun laugh, more like an awkward one. “I guess you haven’t looked at my profile online lately. I finished law school and took a paralegal job at a law firm in my hometown while I study for the bar. It’ll give me good experience and I’ll be able to start practicing law at the same place once I pass the bar.”
He’s right. I haven’t looked at his profile in a really long time. For my mental health, I had to stop. It was becoming too unhealthy, obsessing over him and wondering if he was thinking about me. I had to break that cycle cold turkey. It’s been at least a year since I saw any of his posts online. Which is a stark contrastto how much we used to speak online and how much I’d visit his profile.
I put the call on speaker and open up the app. “That sounds really great Brad. I bet you’re excited to be near your family again.” If he’s still the same person I knew, he was always very family-oriented and would travel a lot to see his family even when he was an undergraduate.
“Yeah. It’ll be really nice.”
I pull up his profile on my phone and start scrolling. I see his relationship status is now single. I don’t know when that happened but at some point, the girlfriend that he quickly acquired at law school is now out of the picture.Convenient.
“I saw that you were back living in town.”
“Yeah, I moved here a while ago when I finished working in Alabama.”
He’s quiet for a minute and I wonder if the call has dropped. “Are you there?” I ask into the silence.
“Yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking.”
Ok. Here’s my chance. If I’m going to be real with him, I need to know why he’s calling me to shoot the shit. It’s been so long since we last had any interaction and he’s had a girlfriend for who knows how long. Granted I just broke up with my boyfriend but that wasn’t a three-year relationship. I saw him maybe twice a week and he had never even met my parents. The girl he dated, they went to school together and lived in the same dorm hall.Yes, I may have internet-stalked her before swearing off his profile years ago. Let’s not get judgey.
“I would ask what about but I don’t know if I want to know.” I start to open my mouth to get a lot off of my chest when he interrupts me.
“Nikki, I’m sorry we haven’t talked in so long. I miss you. I’vethought about you a lot. I saw on your profile that you were back living in town and when the job opportunity opened, I jumped at the chance to get back there not just for my family but because it puts us both in the same place.”
I just go for it. I rip the Band-Aid off. Something that I’ve wanted to ask him about for a long time. “Brad, you got a girlfriend the moment you left here. Are you still seeing her?” I know what his profile says but the online world and the real world can be two very different things.
He sighs into the phone. “She was just someone that I casually dated. I left my computer open one night and she put that we were in a relationship, and I just never changed it. We were dating but it wasn’t anything serious and when we both graduated, we went our separate ways.”
I want to believe him but I’m not as gullible as I used to be. I’m also a lot more skeptical now. My silence triggers him to the fact that I might not be buying it. “Nikki, I swear and I didn’t date anyone else after we broke up months ago.”
Brad was never a liar. “I believe you.”
“Good. I’d really like to see you. I know this week is Thanksgiving but maybe we could get together after?”
Is Brad Matthews finally asking me out on a date? Or is this a get-together to see how you’ve been doing and catch up? I can’t play the games that we played years ago so I just decide to ask him. My mental sanity has to know what this is and hopefully he understands that. “Like a date?”
He chuckles. “Yeah, Nik, like a date.”
I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face because not only have I deep down hoped for this moment for three years but because he sought me out this time.Finally.
“Yeah. I’d really like that.”
LOBSTER ANYONE?
December 4, 2009
Iam sweating bullets. I can literally feel the sweat rolling down my back, so much so that I pull the shirt that I’m wearing over my head and into my hamper. I fling my closet door open and begin moving hangers to the side trying to see any options that I have to wear. Tonight is my officialrealfirst date with Brad. I refuse to count that movie night disaster from years ago.
Compared to that night, the only way this night could go worse is if we set the restaurant on fire. That’s not going to happen so we are moving up. Since last week when he called me out of the blue, we’ve texted several times and that’s how we came about to tonight. It’s Friday night, he’s finished his time studying for the bar for the day and he’s driving down here after his workday ends. That leaves me with about twenty more minutes to figure out what to wear and finish getting ready.
We haven’t seen each other in so long. I don’t think that I look much different since college and I’m sure he’s seen the pictures that I post in my profile. Either way, I want to look nice. Actually, scratch nice, I want to lookphenomenal. I want to look likehowcould I ever let her go, she must be mine. Now if only something in my closet screamed that, that I could appropriately wear toRed Lobsterbecause he dropped about nine hints that’s where we are going to dinner. I don’t even like fish but for Brad, I’ll eat the chicken that inevitably will taste like fish.
I check the temperature outside on my phone and it informs me it’s a balmy fifteen degrees. Yep, just like I thought,butt freezing cold. I let a frustrated sigh escape my lips and pull a green sweater off a hanger. At least I’ll look festive for the upcoming holidays. Once I get re-dressed, reapply some deodorant and touch up my makeup, the doorbell dings.This is it. I’m finally going to see him again. I am full of nerves. My stomach has so many butterflies in it, I’m surprised I haven’t taken flight. I rub my palms down my jean-clad legs to dry them before I twist the front doorknob.
Standing there in a black peacoat looking as handsome as ever is Brad. I push the screen door open and gesture for him to come inside. “I just need to get my purse and coat, and I’ll be all ready to go.”
