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Courtney was the first to speak and for a split second, I thought she was going to give us away. “Nikki here is interested in becoming an RA and since you used to be one, I thought who better to tell her all about it than you. When I told her you lived just a few doors down, I knew I had to bring her over. Have a good night!”
She turned on her heel faster than I could count to three.Traitor.That left Erica and I standing there. I had to pull my jaw off the floor and the shock of knowing that Courtney had just abandoned us and made it completely obvious that this was the flimsiest of excuses to see him. Brad, much to his credit, opened the door wider and gestured for us to come into his room.
I tilt my head down as I pass into his room. Who knows what he’s thinking—there’s no possible way he doesn’t know that Courtney was lying. I’d almost rather she had told the truth: that I’m a psychotic stalker with enabler friends. I puff out a breath and look around. His room is a mirror of Courtney’s, but while she has fluffy blankets and throw pillows, Brad has gray sheetsand the two pillows he sleeps on. It is made, though. He must have gone to Target and gotten the College Boy package that tells you everything has to be a dark neutral tone. Nothing indicates that this room is personal. There’s a desk shoved up against the wall next to a mini fridge—no table and chairs for him.
If he notices me cataloging his room, he doesn’t point it out. I look at Erica, my eyes pleading becausewe are in his room, but before I can open my mouth to say whatever thing comes to mind she raises her eyebrows and mouths,I’m going to leave.My stomach drops.
“Well Brad… always good seeing you but I better go check on Court.” She finger waves goodbye to Brad and has her hand on the door handle before he can even raise his hand to say goodbye in reply. Traitor. I have horrible friends. I’ll kill them both. Who the hell would ever go to someone’s room to interview them about being an RA?
Brad’s full attention swings back to me. Now that we are alone, the room seems quiet.Too quiet. My brain and my mouth aren’t synced up, and before I can even breathe I start to speak. “Would you like to go to spring formal with me?”
He gives me a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. I know right then I am not going to like what he has to say and my stomach instantly feels sour like I’m either going to vomit or need to take a shit. My luck—probably the latter. I wish I could take the words and swallow them, push them down into the darkness forming in the pit of my stomach.
He shoves his hands in his pockets, a move I have never seen him complete. He seems nervous—another trait I’ve never seen him possess. “When is it?”
Ok.So not an immediate hell no.
“It’s the Saturday before spring break—the eighteenth. We’re doing a black and white theme.”
He looks over at his desk and takes a few steps backwards. He pulls out a small black binder which I realize must be his agenda planner. I watch as he flips the pages forward to the date of the formal. I see him tap the date on the page when we finds it. The same finger that taps the page, raises to his bottom lip and he begins tapping it. A lip that I note is very plump and full. He has a perfect mouth and anytime he has his pencil near it in class I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame just like I am now.
“Nikki, I’d really like to go with you but…” He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip that I can’t tear my eyes away from. “That’s my nephew’s fifth birthday and I promised him and my sister that I’d drive up for his party. I won’t be back until late that night.”
I feel my teeth sink into my bottom lip as I chew on it, standing there feeling awkward and out of place. I can stand week after week in front of thirty-eight thousand people in what equates to a bathing suit and not bat an eye but standing here right now, I feel completely exposed. I try to school my face to hide the disappointment I’m feeling. I must not be doing a very good job at it because he frowns and tilts his head to the side.
“I’m really sorry. If it was anything else, I’d bail or cancel but I can’t. It’s my nephew and he really looks up to me.”
I dig deep down inside of myself and pull out my most practiced smile. It’s one that I use on the field when I’m sweating in ninety-five degree heat with eighty percent humidity with the sun blazing in my eyes. It feels forced on my face and I’m sure he can tell but it’s all I can do because I’m disappointed and feel rejected—despite his somewhat believable excuse. I force myself to get the words out. “No, no. I get it. I wouldn’t expect you to cancel something like that.”
I inch closer to the door, turning to make a hasty exit. I take in his reflection on the mirror that’s hanging on the back of it. His eyebrows look pinched together, his eyes downcast to the floor. “I’ll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing. Sorry for interrupting your evening.” I swing the door open and get one foot into the hall when I hear his voice rush out.
“Nik, don’t be like that. You don’t have to go. Stay.”
“Oh, no.” I stumble all over myself. In my mind I have a giant flashingABORT ABORTsign going off in bright red letters. I have the wherewithal to get out. “I drove Erica and I’m sure she’s ready to head out. See you in class.” I don’t even look back over my shoulder to see if he’s still holding the door open. I think it would be too gut wrenching if I was to look back and see that he had already shut the door not caring to watch me walk away. I can only take so many ego hits in a day.
The last thing that I wanted to do was to go to a party. Ok, well technically it was a mixer for our sorority and an up-and-coming fraternity but still a party nonetheless. I wanted to go home, change into my rattiest pajama pants, and binge an entire bag of Doritos. Erica and Courtney had other plans for me and had commandeered the passenger and backseat of my Grand AM. Now because of them, I’m looking for a parking space outside the two-story colonial style home which housed the Sigma Zeta Tau men.
I shut the engine off and sit in the seat, slowly removing my seat belt trying to delay the inevitable. Erica is up and out of the passenger seat and Courtney is pushing the seat forward to get out from the back. The passenger door slams shut, and two seconds later, I can hear the tap, tap of her fingernails on the glass. “Let’s go!”
With one last deep sigh, I open my door and get out of the car. I debate throwing my lightweight jacket into the car, not wanting it to reek of smoke and alcohol by the end of the night. With Erica and Courtney already halfway up the walkway, I double my pace to catch up. When we open the door we are blasted with music and cheers of beer pong already in full swing in the dining room.
I take in the downstairs as I loop around from room to room. Erica and Courtney are already lost in the house, separated but I know I’d be able to find them, besides the house isn’t so packed that I can’t find someone that I know. My sorority sisters must be under the impression that this is a very lucky Saturday night; I’ve never seen so many halter tops, tube tops, crop tops in the winter months compared to what is in this room. I feel very underdressed in myRed Hot Chili Pepperst-shirt and distressed jeans.
I find a sealed bottle of water and take up residence on a wall. It’s not that I don’t enjoy coming to these every now and then but tonight just isn’t the night. I do my best to blend in with the wall and start to believe that I’m doing a pretty good job of it until I catch someone looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I glance to my right and see who’s looking my way.
I raise my hand and give a quick wave. Andy, a brother of the frat, eats up the space between us and comes to stand beside me. “Well if I live and breathe, it’s my favorite twirler.”
Andy and I went to high school together. He was a lineman on the football team and our senior year we hit it off because my baton landed on his foot one time during a time out. He feigned like his foot was broken in a long con of trying to get me to rub his foot after the game. The rest of our senior year we would talk and laugh anytime either one of us found ourselves in the same place at the same time. Even though our campus isn’t the biggest, I don’t see everyone I know each and every day. The last time Ithink I saw Andy was high school graduation almost three years ago. I’ve heard his name at the football games, as he still plays but I’m too busy twirling to usually take in a lot of the game.
I take a good look at him now, and he seems to have grown even taller. His dark hair shaved close to his scalp and his shoulders bulging out in his black Henley. He’s definitely bulked up since the last time I saw him.
“It’s good to see you, Andy.” Much to my surprise, Andy leans forward and envelopes me into a hug.
As we pull away, I put my hands on his biceps, and they are in fact big and hard. “What are you doing here? Are you in the Sigmas?”
He nods his head confirming. “Yeah, I joined last year. It’s a good group of guys. What about you? I see you’re here so clearly you’ve become a joiner.”
I chuff at him in response. “Ha. Ha. Very funny. Yeah, I pledged in the fall. I figured I should get off my rump and stay busy each spring when I’m not twirling.”
