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“Or we could stay here.” He tries again and instantly I nod which only makes his grin turn into a full-on smile.
“We should.” I turn, crawling over his lap, straddling him. His hands going to my hips I slide closer and a growl escapes his lips.
“Yeah,” he leans in, kissing me softly, “here’s good.”
With the music playing in his old Chevy, and everyone outside blinded by the lights facing them, the two of us get lost in one another. Each kiss better than the last and though I want him to lose control, Jayson never once moves too fast. He’s perfect, every little touch, every soft whispered word, and right there in the middle of the field just outside Magnolia Grove I have fallen in love with Jayson Lincoln, the boy who will forever own my heart.
one
. . .
13 years later
Jayson
I round the bend, opening up the view of Magnolia Grove. The small town, though I’ve been gone from for many years, I still refer to as home. It’s the place that holds all those who are dearest to my heart. It holds so many memories, both good and not so great, but it’s the place and the people within it that molded me into the man I am today.
Regrets, we all have them. Lately mine have overwhelmed me.
I thought there was more out there; thought that a big city could offer me more than a small town ever would, but I’ll accept without pause that I was wrong. There is nothing outside of this quaint little town that makes what I left behind worth it. I walked away from my future, from the life I could have had, and I guess I’d hoped one day it would lead to something more. Ihoped that the one person I wanted by my side would follow, but she was, and still is, a small town girl.
But the truth is, everything I’ve ever wanted and exactly what I’ve needed was right here, right where I left it all those years ago.
Turning the corner, my chest grows tight as the funeral home comes into view. My entire body feels my regrets all over again.
“Jay, there is a place right here waiting for you. Just think of the team you and I would make. Working alongside my grandson, it’s a dream I’ve had since you told me you were accepted into medical school.”
My grandfather’s words whisper through my mind and in this moment, I find it hard to breathe. My emotions take off as I pull into the first available parking space and hang my head. The opportunity has passed, and we all say there will be time, but time gets away from us and then we’re left wishing we’d done things differently. We all feel like we have tomorrow, but the thing is tomorrow is not promised. I wish I could go back to yesterday, or even last month. To a time when Michael Lincoln was still alive because things without him now feel so empty.
“This practice is yours, all you have to do is come home where you belong and claim it.”
I take a slow deep breath, unable to see through the unshed tears which have now pooled in my eyes. So many times I’ve thought next year I’ll go home. Next year I’ll work side by side with the man I’ve admired my entire life. Hell, my grandfather is the reason I became a doctor in the first place. Watching him with his patients, hearing the people of Magnolia Grove speak to him with such respect because he was more than a doctor, he wastheir friend, and he cared so deeply. They were all his people, but even more than that, they were his family.
The funeral is more for my parents, as my grams could have gone without it. She knows that Gramps would find it stuffy and so unlike his nature. The man found the good in every bad situation and he’d prefer laughing and a celebration over tears. Hell, turn on the music and dance around town square is what I picture he would have wanted. My parents have never been the laid back and free kind. I guess that’s why I connected with my grandfather so well. He was so easy to talk to; being with him was like hanging with a best friend.
Making my way inside the funeral home I am met with half the townspeople, all here to pay their respects. Sympathetic eyes connect with mine and I feel my chest grow tight.
My heart is broken, and the knowledge that Dr. Michael Lincoln is no longer only a phone call away leaves me feeling so lost. He was the very man who I’ve always valued and entrusted even more than my own father. My grandfather and I bonded, me following him around his office, with my own stethoscope he’d bought me when I was five.
The further I make it through the parlor and into the main gathering room, the harder it is to breathe. I can’t look ahead because seeing him makes it all final, and call me a coward, but I need to work up to that finality.
I’m spent. My emotions have gotten the best of me as each member of the Magnolia Grove community has stopped in to pay their respects. Watching my grandmother fall apart, onlyto pick herself up time and time again, shows how incredibly strong she truly is.
My mother and father sit close to her, and Mattie, my brother and I stand to the side, as people move through the line and tell story after story of times Doc not only took care of them during a trying time but made sure to follow up and offer more than a normal doctor ever would. He never let a patient walk out of his practice only to be forgotten when the next one arrived. They weren’t a number to him; he went above and beyond with each person who walked through his doors.
Doing my best to hold myself together, I try to avoid making eye contact with my grandmother. Its kills me to see the swollen redness of her eyes. I have never been able to see my grams upset and not feel it hit deep.
Lowering my chin to my chest, I focus on one breath after another, willing myself to remain strong. I can fall apart later when I’m alone.
“Don’t look now,” Mattie says from my side, and of course I look. I never understood that saying. Why people insist on telling someone not to look; they should just say look, you need to see this.
Immediately my entire body grows warm as I notice the blonde beauty enter through the double doors. The same blonde beauty I’ve thought of often through the years, the one who is responsible for so many of my great memories here at home.
I’ve managed to miss her the last few times I’ve been in town, but it was more that I didn’t want to see her with her husband, so I steered clear instead. Being reminded of what I’d given up feltmore like torture so I avoided any place she might be instead. Not the best way to handle things, but it worked.
Yet here she is…Zoey Harding, or Ward now, but she’ll always be the same sweet, gorgeous girl she was all those years ago. My first love, and if I’m being honest, my only love. Because though I tried to move on, no one has ever compared to my sweet southern girl.
“She’s getting a divorce,” Matthew whispers next to me and I quickly look in his direction to find him smirking at me like he knew I’d react instantly, which I do.
