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“What?”
“The guys’ a real ass,” he shrugs. “Treats her and her girls like shit.”
I knew she had twins. It killed me to keep tabs, but I guess it’s a form of self-torture. I constantly reminded myself of what I walked away from when I chose the big city life. I spend more time than I could count reminiscing on all the things that could have been mine had I realized what I had right here in Magnolia Grove.
“Didn’t even want the girls, from what I hear,” he adds.
I stare at Mattie in disbelief and he only offers me a nod in return to confirm I’ve heard him correctly. If anyone knows how I feel and have always felt about Zoey, it’s my brother. He has harassed me about it for years and finds joy in it every single time.
I’m just about to ask him for more information when I hear Zoey’s voice and it’s like a kick to the stomach.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Alice.” I turn just in time to see Zoey lean in and hug my grandmother. “He was such an amazing man, always so good to my girls and to me.” When Zoey pulls back, she places her hands on my grandmother’s cheeks and the two of them share a moment. Witnessing their exchange does something to me and I feel so incredibly raw. “We were all so lucky to have known him, and lucky to have the memories to hold on to.”
My fragile grandmother places her hands over Zoey’s and I close my eyes, my nostrils flaring as emotions coarse through me. Witnessing Zoey comforting my grandmother, the woman that has spent her life taking care of others right alongside my grandfather warms my soul. Zoey is still the same sweet girl I knew all those years ago, only now she is a woman.
“Thank you, Zoey,” Grams whispers.
When she stands, I notice how she glances in my direction, then quickly looks away. Her throat bobs as she swallows hard, and then as if she is sixteen all over again, she worries her hands before her while glancing down at them.
I still remember the very first time I walked up to her. That little girl that glared at the boy before her because he’d just torn her favorite sweater. I know she didn’t need me to defend her, but I wasn’t able to stop myself. Even then at eight, and her six, I felt somehow drawn to her. We were instant friends.
Yet now she shies away from me.
I want nothing more than to reach out and tilt her chin upward, forcing her to stand proud and accept that she is breathtaking.
“Hey, little bit.” Irritation filters through me when Mattie steps in and wraps his arms around her. The action is only to get arise out of me, I know this, and it works. The difference between now and when we were teens, is I have no business feeling the things I’m currently feeling. Jealousy, ownership, I want to grab my brother’s shoulders and pull him away from her, moving in to take his place.
“It’s good to see you,” he adds, releasing his hold on her and stepping back. I don’t miss the way he glances back at me and winks.
Always the asshole.
“Jayson.” When she says my name, it feels wrong. She never called me Jayson. I was always Jay to her. So formal and detached. I don’t have the right to feel hurt, but it doesn’t stop my chest from aching.
She moves slowly past us, twisting her hands before her.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Zoey whispers. “Wish I wasn’t seeing you again under these circumstances.” She offers me a smile and I know it’s forced. It may have been a while since I last saw a true, genuine Zoey Harding smile, but it’s something that cannot be forgotten easily. She has the kind of smile that reaches her eyes and if you are lucky enough to be in its presence you feel it from head to toe. The smile that lit up the night.
There are so many things I want to say but I don’t get the chance to offer even a single word. Quickly, she is moving down the line and I can’t seem to take my eyes off her.
I feel something dab at the corner of my mouth gaining my attention as I swat my hand at Mattie. Looking at him holding a handkerchief with a gleam in his eye. I can see he’s fighting a smile.
“What in the hell are you doing?”
“Dude, you were drooling,” I narrow my eyes at him then elbow him in the side. He makes ahmphsound before stepping away, chuckling. Always the wise guy, never letting a single opportunity pass him by.
When I glance back in the direction that Zoey has gone, I barely catch the back of her as she steps out into the parlor and I instantly feel the loss.
Suddenly the room feels smaller as I tug at my tie. It’s stuffy and quickly becoming suffocating.
I need air.
This isn’t what Gramps would have wanted.
“Where are you going?” My mother reaches out to grab for my hand as I start to step away.
“Outside,” I say in a low tone. “This,” I wave my finger in a circular motion, “It’s not Michael Lincoln and I think you know that.”
She holds my stare, and I don’t back down. My mother and I have never really seen eye to eye. But truth be told, Charlotte is a hard person to connect with. She never understood Gramps, or Grams for that matter. I’m not so sure she understands Mattie or I either. It’s one of the many reasons why more than half our childhood we spent with Michael and Alice, in the comfort of their home. A place where it was okay to get muddy in the lake and leave fingerprints on the glass.
