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“Is that so?”
“Yes.” When he comes closer my heart races. Gently, he presses his lips to my cheek and my yes flutter shut. “By the way, I love the outfit.” When he moves back, he wags his brows and I reach out to pinch his side making him laugh.
As he moves around my kitchen, the girls on chairs which he moved close, one on each side of him they watch him in awe. It all feels natural, and again, my nerves threaten to get the best of me.
I excuse myself, going to my room to grab a sweater I brace myself on my dresser, closing my eyes. It would be so easy to fall into a pattern with Jay, to allow myself to fall without reservation. Fact is I still love him, that never faded, but I’m different now. Everything is different and it’s not only my heart on the line anymore.
“You okay?” I spin around, knocking over a bottle on my dresser in the process. There in the doorway of my bedroom is Jay, with his hands braced on each side.
“I’m good,” even I sense the hesitation in my voice.
Slowly he moves closer, pausing with only a small fraction of space left between us. With his eyes staring directly back into mine my pulse quickens. “If you’re good then why are you hiding out in here?”
“I was getting a shirt,” I point at the sweater I am now wearing over my tank top.
“Your excuse would almost be believable if you didn’t disappear more than ten minutes ago.” He lifts his hand up moving away a hair that has fallen from my braid. Tucking it behind my ear, his fingertip drags over my cheek and I shiver.
“Where are the girls?”
“Eating the heart shaped pancakes I made them.”
“Hearts?” I can’t help but smile.
“They wanted crowns, but my talents do not extend that far,” with a shrug, he leans in a little closer. “I didn’t show up here to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“It’s not that,” I assure him, unable to look him directly in the eye. My chest growing tight, as anxiety grows within me.
Suddenly he shifts, cupping the sides of my face and tipping my chin upward. “Look at me,” he whispers and I slowly open my eyes to find him watching me. A sincere look in his eyes, his lip tipped at the corner. “Why are you in here, and not out there with us?”
I could lie, I could make up some wild story or even insist this is nothing and then drag him back out to the kitchen. All those options seem doable, but instead I lock eyes with him and the inability to hold back hits me. “Seeing you in my kitchen, cooking with the girls, so relaxed as if you’ve been doing it forever,” I shrug. “I just needed a minute to let it all sink in.”
“You wanna kick me out, don’t you?” He’s grinning but it doesn’t reach his eyes I can sense the fear that is hidden there.
“No,” the words just tumble out of my mouth, “I want to keep you forever.” A burning sensation hits me and my entire chest feels as though it’s on fire. My throat burns and tears fill my eyes. “But I’m scared to want it.”
“Don’t be,” he rests his forehead to mine, breathing me in as we both close our eyes. “Want me, Zoey,” he whispers. “Want me the way I want you.”
Shifting even closer his lips press to mine and for the first time in so long, I let myself feel. I allow myself to want what he’s offering as my body melts to his.
twenty-three
. . .
Jayson
I grip the back of her neck with one hand, lowering the other to her waist. Circling it around her I pull her body to mine and deepen our kiss. So sweet, just the way I remember.
“I don’t want you to be scared,” I tell her between kisses.
She fits so perfectly in my arms, her body molded to my own. The soft whimper that escapes her lips as she fists my shirt.
“I’ve never wanted anything more,” I need her to feel the truth. “I love you, I never stopped loving you. I thought letting you go was the right thing but the truth is everything I ever needed has been right here at home.”
She takes a deep breath, looking up at me through her long lashes.
“Let me love you Zoey,” when she blinks a tear falls over her cheek and I capture it with my thumb. “Let me love you all.”
I get it, doing this with her means I’m in it with the girls too. Nothing about that scares me because I’ve fallen in love with them too.
