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But here, now, with Jay, it’s the first time in so long I haven’t felt as though I’m walking on eggshells. Like any minute the ground will shatter beneath me and there won’t be anything to grab onto.
Jay slowly crawls over my body, and I roll onto my back without resistance. “It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had.” He drags his nose along the side of mine, brushing a kiss over the corner of my mouth.
I can feel him growing hard against me as I part my legs, and he fits so perfectly between them.
“I won’t lie and say I didn’t love my time in Mobile.” I stare up at him, suddenly my stomach growing unsettled until he continues to explain. “But it was a phase, that grew old fast. Because though I remained busy during the day there was always the night to remind me what I was missing.”
“And what was that?”
“You.” He holds my stare. “Roots, family, love, coming back here, it could have gone two ways. I knew there was a chance I’d be forced to see you with him, happy and I’m not saying that finding you the opposite of what I’d imagined is a good thing, I will say being able to give you that myself, it feels good. I want tobe the man who makes you laugh and who loves you and those girls to the point of suffocation.”
I laugh.
“I’m serious, okay well, maybe not suffocation, but real damn close.”
“I’m difficult, I know this. But I’ll admit,” I lift my hand to cup the side of his face, staring directly into his eyes, “being loved by you is incredible. I just need to do a much better job of accepting it.”
“You do.” He nods, shifting his body against mine and I moan at the friction it causes. “But we’ll work on that.”
Right then I’m brought back to the first moment I knew Jayson Lincoln was it for me. Yes, there was the time in between when I thought our chance was gone, but here we are. My heart racing, my body filled with joy. A joy I haven’t allowed myself to feel in longer than I can remember. I think I just forgot how incredible it felt, to give yourself over to someone you love. To be consumed, mind body and soul, and to know you’ll come out the other end of it unscarred.
I know Jay won’t hurt me, or the girls. I know he never meant to all those years ago, but it wasn’t our time.
But now, it’s our time.
thirty-five
. . .
Jayson
“What’s going on in here?” I ask, standing in the doorway, leaning against the door jam, where I’ve been quietly observing for close to a minute. The three of them are happily dancing around the kitchen, completely unaware of my presence.
They all turn, Zoey holding a spatula, Riley and Regan smiling happily as one holds an unopened bottle of syrup and Regan a container of wet wipes.
“Breakfast,” Riley sings as she shakes her hips from side to side and Regan chooses to match her movements.
I walk further into the kitchen and pause behind Zoey, placing my hand on her hip and leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Good morning,” I whisper.
“Morning,” she returns, before turning back to the stove and flipping what appears to be French toast.
Stepping away, both girls are there waiting as I grab the four plates and walk over to the kitchen table. “Should we set the table?”
They quickly rush over and climb up onto the chairs. Together we set each place with a plate, fork, napkin, and a cup. Riley retrieves the milk from the fridge and carries it over just as Zoey places the plate full of French toast in the center.
With me next to Riley, and Regan next to Zoey, it seems like something the four of us have always done.
We each cut up the toast for the girls, pouring the syrup over it as they both dig in. The wet wipes in the middle make sense now as I notice the sticky mess on each of their little faces.
I sit quietly watching them, barely touching my own food. I’m completely enthralled with their beauty, much like their mothers. The three of them are stunning, so perfect it makes my chest ache.
The girls laugh, telling jokes that are only funny because they are so incredibly cute while telling them.
How do you make a Kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Riley laughed so hard she snorted when Regan told that one and seeing the joy in their eyes is the best part.
My phone rings as we are cleaning up after breakfast and I sneak away to take the call.
