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“And what would that be?”
“A man who adores you!” His voice echoes over the yard. “A man who would give anything to wake up with you and those girls every single day.”
“Even if your mother hates the idea?”
“I don’t give a shit what she likes or dislikes. She’s shown very little interest in my life, the only time she voices an opinion is when she disagrees.” Jay reaches out and links his hand with mine. “Grams, her opinion is the one that matters most, and you should know she adores the three of you. She loves the idea of Riley and Regan being in my life and in hers. That woman is already seeing wedding bells and more babies in our future and I love her visions.” He pulls me in closer to him. “Her visions are the same ones I have when I think of us. I want all if it, and I want it with you.”
He moves in faster than I can register and cups the back of my neck. Pulling my mouth to his, his lips crash to mine.
My body melts into his and he fists my wet hair.
“Stop fighting this.” He seethes into our kiss. “You and I, and those girls, we are a family. Accept that!”
He doesn’t give me a chance to speak or argue before he kisses me once again. Suddenly my back is being pressed to the glass panel of the back door, as he searches out the handle.
“I love you.” His words tickle my lips. “You’re mine, Zoey, and those girls they’re mine too.”
Jay’s voice is low and demanding. “We are doing this. No one and nothing is going to stop us from happening.”
We stumble inside.
“Will you please just let me love you.” He grips my face, forcing me to see him. “I wish more than anything that I never let you go all those years ago, and now that I have you back,” his forehead rests to mine, “I don’t want to go back to my life without you.”
“I just don’t want you to regret choosing us.” Tears fill my eyes.
“I would never regret my girls.” He smiles, moving in to kiss my lips once more. With his hands around my waist he lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist.
Carrying me toward the stairs, he climbs them, not once letting me go. Holding onto him, like he is my lifeline and in a way he is. Everything felt like it was falling apart slowly until he showed back up in my life. Frankly, at first, I felt like him being here was only another evil plan to remind me of everything I’d lost.
Now here I am, in his arms and I keep fighting it. Letting fear blind me to the happiness I could have.
When we pass through the threshold of his bedroom and he continues to the bathroom, he finally lowers me to the floor. I stand before him allowing him to slowly undress. Our eyes locked on each other, his fingers gently grazing over my skin triggering chills to spread out over my skin.
Jay turns my body away from his, unclasping my bra and moving it down my arms. When the heat of his body presses to mine from behind I close my eyes and give into the way his lips feel along my shoulder. Soft gently kisses, working their way to my neck, as I turn my head welcoming more.
“You are everything to me,” his whisper tickles my ear, just before his tongue trails over my sensitive flesh. “No one has ever consumed me the way you do. It’s always been you Zoey, hundreds of miles between us didn’t change that fact.”
I turn, placing my hands to his chest and looking up into his eyes.
We remain like this for several seconds, neither saying a word. Then together we walk backwards to the shower and step inside under the warm cascading water.
I forget what his mother said. I forget what I went through with Carson. I let go of the idea that no matter how badly I want something good, I will always be let done.
And I do as Jay’s asked, and I let him love me.
A warm, strong hand drags very slowly over my side, until it reaches my hip. I smile, my face turned in toward the pillow, as I concentrate on the way he touches me.
Jay’s body is close behind mine, neither of us bothered to get dressed last night after our shower. Instead he led me to the bed, crawl beneath the sheets with me, where we made love then fell asleep.
He places a kiss onto my shoulder, before moving closer to my neck.
“Good morning,” he whispers, and I slowly look over my shoulder. A sweet smile tugs at the corner of his mouth just before he shifts a little closer, pressing his lips to mine. “I love this,” he confesses. “Waking up next to you,” my heart feels like it swells in my chest. “Knowing all three of you are here, safe, with me.”
Closing my eyes tightly I try not to react to his words, but it’s difficult.
I spent the last four years taking care of my girls, and though I’ve had help, I still have a real hard time accepting support. Prior to that I pretended my marriage wasn’t a sham, I lied to those I loved, distanced myself from my best friends because I knew seeing them would give away the fact that I was miserable.
The truth is, I’ve spent far too long feeling alone when I had so many people around me who would have lifted me up had I allowed them too.
