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Cal told me to be home at seven for dinner, but I panicked. I dropped off the wines earlier this afternoon and noticed the fridge full of supplies to make dinner; a bouquet of wildflowers in a vase on the table, and way too many candlespulled out. I could hear water running, Cal humming in the shower. Without thinking, I uncorked one of the bottles and left the house, heading down the street, not really sure of my destination. Just walking, and thinking. Walking, and overthinking.
My feet took me across my small neighborhood and onto the paved walking trails in the wooded area behind it. I walked, taking sips of red wine directly from the bottle, until I came to the crest of a hill with an overlook. Sitting on a stone retaining wall, I looked off in the direction of my house and pretended I could see Beth arriving, Cal taking her into his arms and escorting her inside.
Will he mention I was supposed to be there but chickened out? How long will they stay in the kitchen, eating and talking, before they retire to his room so I can sneak back in?
I wasn't ready to confront them. And honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready to listen to them through the walls. In my tipsy haze, the idea of getting to hear her moans and cries of pleasure really turns me on, sending a shiver up my spine—even if it isn’t my name she’s calling. As I overthink the morality of it, I start back down the trail, hoping I'll be able to slip inside the house unnoticed.
Briefly wondering if any of the neighbors are looking out their windows, I press my ear to the front door and listen to see if I can hear anyone talking. I can't, but the door is rather thick. I sneak over to the floor to ceiling window at the front of the house, cupping my hands to peer through a gap in the nearly sheer curtains.
Oh god, what if they caught me trying to peek into my own house like this? I look down at my left hand, holding the nearly empty bottle of wine. I'm significantly less drunk than I'd liketo be, just barely tipsy enough to do something stupid like get caught looking through my own windows. Maybe I could play it off as funny, like I meant to do it.
They don't seem to be in the main part of the house, so I open the door and tiptoe through. I think I'm in the clear, having made it almost to my bedroom when I hear Cal yell my name.
"Ezra! Come in here. Now." He's angry and I am unsure if it’s because of me.
Beth
I don't know why I allow myself to get so nervous and overthink every little thing. It doesn't help that today was a particularly shitty day at work. Cherith is still pissed off that Cal continues to ignore her whenever he calls or stops by, and is taking it out on me by treating me like I'm beneath her.
It's not even that I mind hard work, nor do I find any work I'm asked to do particularly degrading. I'm not above doing what needs to be done to help the gallery succeed. But she's been one step from demanding that I lick her shoes all day, making messes and bossing me about when anyone else is nearby to witness her power over me. When the room is empty, she mostly ignores me. But today, as we're setting up for the grand opening of her social media club, she has found a way to show her ass every single time another person crosses over the threshold. She purposefully knocked my Caesar salad to the ground right as a delivery person was walking in and berated me in front of him for being “such a pig”.
Then she loudly proclaimed I smelled like anchovies and made comments like, "Just because it's a salad doesn't mean it's healthy,Bessie. That lettuce is swimming in fatty dressing." Because, you know, I obviously value the opinion of every person skinnier than me. And God forbid I actually enjoy whatever food I'm eating.Thatwould be a travesty.
The only thing that got me through the day was reminders of Cal, which mostly came in the form of sore muscles and tenderness when I sat down. Not tender enough to not be completely ready to do it again, though. Since today was a set-up day for the gallery, I was wearing leggings and one of my favorite faded, paint covered t-shirts. I live in these outfits outside of work and set-up days. But I want to look nice for Cal, so before I left today, I got changed into something a little sexier. I ditched my usual shapewear bodysuit in favor of a matching black lace bra and cheeky boy-shorts, then put on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans with a low-cut lavender wrap shirt. After tousling my hair a bit and adding a touch of mascara, I toed on my favorite Converse sneakers and started packing up to leave.
“Where are you off to tonight, Beth?”
"Oh! You surprised me," I said as I jumped in surprise. I hadn’t realized Mr. Vandreth had walked in.
"I didn't mean to shock you," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I tried to pull away politely, but his hand squeezed and I didn't want to seem like I was intimidated so I just stood there, gritting my teeth into some semblance of a smile, but I'm sure it came off more as a grimace.
Holding a hand over my heart to calm my nerves, answered as politely as possible, despite how uncomfortably close he wasstanding. "I, uh… I have a date, actually."
He didn't seem to notice or care about my obvious discomfort. His eyes were glued to my cleavage. "Who's the guy, and where are you going dressed like that?"
"Excuse me?" Just as I was about to demand he take a step back, Cherith chose to walk in on the scene.
As much as it pains me to admit, I can understand why she was upset. She'd just walked in to see her boyfriend standing way too close to me, his hand on my arm, eyes firmly and obviously boring into my cleavage. I wish she could have noticed how uncomfortable I was; how I was obviously trying to escape the situation without causing problems, instead of treating me like I was preying on her man.Gross.
"Oh my god, whyareyou dressed like that?" She shrieked. "Listen, I'm only trying to help you. That outfit is doing your figure zero favors. You might want to consider something a little less form fitting." She looked at her boyfriend with a smug sneer and stage whispered, "at least it's not cow print this time."
I gathered the rest of my things and ran out of the gallery, trailed by the sounds of their laughter. Completely forgetting the homemade apple pie and vanilla sauce I made just for Cal—I’d mentioned bringing brownies, but he told me he was craving something vanilla in a tone that very clearly suggested I was meant to be dessert, not bring dessert.
Logically, I know Cherith is toxic and full of shit. She puts me down because she's insecure and it makes her feel better about herself. It's only in the last year or so that it's become so incredibly blatant.
These are the things that I tell myself as I drive to meet Cal. But it's impossible for some of that toxicity not to sink in through the cracks of the wall I've built. By the time I'm pulling up to the address Cal gave me, I'm tugging at my shirt and trying to pull my waistband higher to suck in my stomach, regretting my overconfidence when I thought I'd wear a sexy panty set instead of a bodysuit.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the distorted glass of the storm door and consider turning around. But it’s too late, Cal is already throwing the door open and bounding over to wrap his arms around me and kiss me like he's been missing me for months rather than hours. In his embrace, I try to let go of my insecurities, but they remain in the far recesses of my mind.
Cal pulls me into the house and I take a second to get my bearings as I remove my shoes. There’s art everywhere, possibly even more eclectic than my own décor.
"This is beautiful. You can tell it’s Ezra’s place. I definitely feel his presence and influence. Although, I notice a lot of your work on the walls as well."
"It's as close to home as it gets for me, other than my mum's. I don't actually own a home, seeing as I'm always traveling." He looks sheepish at the admission, as if it’s some kind of failing that he lives such an adventurous life.
"No judgment here. I think your life sounds like an incredibly exciting adventure. It must be so fulfilling to live your passion." I mean every word, even if they make my heart and my stomach cramp.
Cal gives me an odd, sad sort of look. "Yeah. I thought so too."
