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For a second, my view clears. It is him. He has his head down, and he is wrapped up in many layers heading out to the hiking trail.Is he crazy? Going hiking in this?
I consider running out to him, asking if he has a deathwish. His shape disappears into the snowstorm as I hesitate. Maybe he’s not heading up the mountain at all. Maybe he’s just going into town.But the town is in the other direction.
“Miss?” the guy at the table says, trying to get my attention.
I look around at the table of expectant faces, all turned towards me.
“Sorry,” I say, forcing my attention back into the room. “What were you asking?”
By the end of the day, I am truly exhausted. I kept watching for Renxel’s return, but I didn’t see him again. I hope he was okay out there.
I convince myself that he is tough and knows what he’s doing. But I still can’t sleep.
My mind keeps playing over how amazing the night we spent together felt. It confuses me that he didn’t feel it, too. Maybe he has that experience with all the girls, and it’s not a biggie for him. But it is for me.
I feel a tear trickle down my cheek and into my ear.Shit. I don’t want to be crying again.
The morning finds me bleary-eyed and grateful that I don’t work until the evening shift. The weather has cleared and white clouds are drifting across the azure sky. Maybe a hike would help clear my head.
As I get ready, I am trying to convince myself I’m going out because I’ll enjoy it, but deep down, I know the real reason is that I want to see if I can spot him. I want to reassure myself that he’s okay.
The fresh fall of snow has brightened everything up, and the brisk wind invigorates me. I decide that I’m going to be okay. I can move on from Renxel. I am a strong, powerful woman. I don’t need some arrogant guy to look after me. I’m happy on my own.
I try to put a spring in my step and a smile on my face, determined to make my resolutions come true.
And then I see him. He is walking on a track a little higher up the mountain, and I only catch a glimpse of him. My heart leaps for joy at the sight of him.So he’s still alive then.
He has his head down as he walks, shoulders slumped. He looks miserable and alone. He doesn’t notice me as he trudges morosely up the track.
I want to call to him, but then the feeling of abandonment puts its tendrils around my rapidly beating heart and squeezes. He made his bed. Let him walk around wallowing in self-pity if he likes. I’ve moved on!
Pulling up my collar, I turn for home. The sun has gone behind a cloud, and the day suddenly feels less hospitable.Fuck this.
I barely make it through my shift later. My cheeks ache from smiling at awkward customers and my head aches from lack of sleep.
“Hey, Mira,” says a friendly voice as I’m wrapping myself up to go home. “You look beat down. Are you still hung up on that competitor?”
Trish is probably the best friend I’ve made here. She is half Kiphian and half human. Her skin is ash-gray, and it makes her warm brown eyes stand out from a face rimmed by long, dark hair.
“Nope, I am totally over that Renxel dude,” I lie. “I’ve almost forgotten who he is.”
She laughs. “Evidently,” she says. “Some of the girls are meeting up at the Tavern tomorrow night, and I noticed you don’t have a shift. Do you want to join us?”
I kick myself. I’d forgotten to apply for an extra shift tomorrow evening. But maybe Trish’s proposition will be better for me. “Hey, I’d love to,” I tell her. “Nothing like a bit of girl time to get over a guy, huh?”
Silvy told me I need to connect with more people, but who says it has to be a man? Girls are better company, anyway, and Trish won’t break my heart.
“That’s what I thought,” Trish says. “See you tomorrow.”
When I wake up in the morning, I feel much better. I managed to get some sleep last night, and I have something good to look forward to.
Deciding to skip my morning walk as the weather is uninspiring anyway, I run a nice hot bath and plan a one-woman pamper day.
By the time I step into the Starlight Tavern to meet the girls, I feel foxy.
“Wow, look at you, you look stunning,” Trish exclaims when she sees me. “Is that a new dress?”
“Yes, I was saving it for a special occasion.” I try to ignore the ache in my heart at the memory of spending my savings on itafter Renxel and I made love, thinking it would be nice to wear on a date. “I thought tonight would be perfect.”
