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He frowns. “Yes, honestly, I am.”
“Please explain. What’s the point of all this?” I ask, my hands clenching and unclenching, wishing I could hold him in my arms once again. I want one last touch, even if I’m freaking pissed at him.
It’s hard for him to speak, but he answers, “I was sick of living. I had heartsickness over how lonely my life has been… and how so many people make a mockery of love. I just wanted out. Either way, win or lose, I could end my disheartened existence. This whole thing was to be my last act as a love god,” he explains, guilt and remorse evident in his voice, “so I made a bet. Astupidbet.”
When he pauses to gain his strength, I ask, “Over me?”
“Yes. I was cocky and said I could give any target the love of their life within a week… like it’s all too easy and has no value.” His golden eyes pierce me with a plea for me to understand. “I was so wrong, because when I met you, I quickly realized that there’s still pure love in the world. I found love inyou, but it was too late. I had made my bet.”
Maybe I can fix this if I can just understand the terms. “What was the wager? For my soul and your powers? What do you get out of this?”
“You would claim the love of your life, then when you trusted me and accepted my powers, you would be the next love god.”
“What? Me?TheCupid?”
Eros ignores my surprise and presses on. “Hermes said he discovered the next mortal with the potential to become a matchmaker, then I watched you at Lovers’ Bluff, and I knew you were the one. All the pieces were there. I didn’t see how it might hurt you. I thought I was going to make you happy. You were an amazing, beautiful woman with a heart filled with love and compassion. How could someonenotfall in love with you?”
I blush at his compliment. Even while he’s dying, he’s trying to make me feel better about myself.
“All I had to do was make Carl wake up and see how wonderful you are and finally give into his desire for you.” Eros tries to grasp my hand, but his hand goes right through mine. “I thought it would be a win-win situation.”
“But I messed it up,” I whisper.
“No, you didn’t. I did because I believe now that Hermes tricked me.” Eros looks at Hypnos for confirmation, but the dream god doesn’t give any indication either way. “But now, because Carl isn’t the love of your life, I lost the bet. On top of it, you didn’t accept my powers, which was my backup plan to protect you from them.”
I brush off the pain that spikes within me with the reminder that I’m loveless. “How did Hermes trick you?” I ask.
“I believe Carl was already one of his agents. United Merchants?” Eros shakes his head in irritation. “I wasn’t thinking straight and didn’t see the obvious. Hermes is also the god of merchants. When I accepted his bet, I had no clue about his power over Carl.”
“So Hermes was the one blocking you,” I surmise. “He used his advantage to cause my problems with Carl and you, but what do Thanatos and Hypnos have to do with this? All three say they want me, but I don’t want them.” I glower over my shoulder at Hypnos.
“Now that you’re no longer under my protection, any god has a chance to claim you.” Eros tries to sit up and fails. “Hermes is an asshole, Hypnos gets bored too easily, and Thanatos isn’t necessarily evil, but he’s clueless how to behave.”
“So I’m screwed no matter who I pick, huh?”
“I’m so sorry, love. Not that my words can make up for what I’ve done. I wanted to end my pain and fade into oblivion, but I dragged you down with me.”
“It sounds like it was Hermes who did the dragging,” I remind him. “You were just arrogant enough to think your plan was foolproof to find love for me.”
“I wish I was Cronos, so I could go back in time and fix this for you.”
I study his deteriorating form, and my heart cracks. “I don’t want you to fade into oblivion. What can I do to help you?”
“Help yourself. I need to believe you’ll find a way out of this mess.”
“Butyou’repermanently dying right now, aren’t you?” I ask.
“Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. Hypnos is draining my power to award Hermes. When my last arrow disappears, then I will fade too.”
Eros rolls over onto his shoulder. At the base of his neck, his bow and arrow mark is much lighter now.
Feeling helpless, I cry, “Why would Hermes want to hurt you like this?”
“Because a few years ago, he asked me to shoot my arrow at some mortal woman he wanted,” Eros replies.
“You wouldn’t do it after what happened with you and Psyche, would you?” I ask. “You wouldn’tmakesomeone fall in love by force.”
He nods.
