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He grins. “I can never have too much fun without you, Valerie. My life is lifeless without you, a speck of dust in a black hole.”
“So, Italy has made you a poet, huh?”
“I’m a singer, too, if you give me enough limoncello.”
I laugh in the warm breeze as a shining white car with chrome details pulls up to take us to the rehabilitation center disguised as a resort. I’m honestly not too bothered about spending time there, but I do want to see Pasha’s boat once I’m out. He claims to own the most beautiful one in Italy, and I’d love to recline on the deck in a bikini.
It’s been ages since I was able to get a good tan. I know he loves my pale skin, but sometimes a girl needs some vitamin D.
The inside of the car is cool and fresh, and the white leather feels like butter under my thighs. Pasha slides in next to me, smoke clinging to his suit and mixing with his spicy cologne. He always smells as rich as he looks.
“I’m not the owner, but I know the guy,” Pasha explains as we leave the runway. “Dante Folliero. He built the place for his wifeabout thirty years ago. They’re both still doing great for their ages. I talk to them every once in a while, and Dante knows you’re coming. We’ll probably have dinner with him some night while we’re here.”
I’m too enamored by the scenery to properly respond. The sky is so clear that I can’t find the slightest hint of a cloud, and the trees sway so gently, casting thin shadows on the pale road. It’s like there’s never a day of rain here, perfectly hot and dry, but not like a desert. It’s more like paradise to me.
We drive for a little over thirty minutes as I take in the views, stopping in front of a large white fence that separates the rehabilitation resort from the rest of the world. My heart beats a little faster at the idea that I won’t be leaving this place for several weeks, but there’s no turning back now.
Sensing my nervousness, Pasha takes my hand, lacing his fingers between mine and squeezing gently. “It’s really nice here. You won’t even want to leave.”
I smile at his attempt to comfort me, but I don’t do well with words alone. I know that once I actually see the place and stay a few nights, I’ll be comfortable. Until then, I’m all nerves.
The door is opened for me by a tanned man in an all-white linen outfit. I know it’s just because of the heat, but it reminds me an awful lot of something they’d dress you in at an asylum.
Doesn’t help the nerves. Not one bit.
Pasha comes up behind me, placing a hand on my waist and guiding me toward the gate. My heart slams in my chest, and I feel a little woozy, mostly at the thought of what they could do to me here without Pasha’s protection. After being attacked at theclub by Anatoly’s goons, I have this paranoia about men I don’t know.
Not to mention the shooting. I feel like Pasha just glazed over that like his guys didn’t just kill dozens of people. I know he’s a criminal, but fuck, that was a brutal thing to do. I wonder if it was necessary, or if he’s just trying to send a message to his brother.
I feel guilty about it, of course. I always find a way to make myself into the one who did something wrong. I went there to find drugs, but instead I triggered an unbelievable amount of violence.
I hope they have a psychologist in this rehab center, because I think I’m going to need one after what I witnessed.
“Right through here,” Pasha says, guiding me through the entrance and down a white gravel walkway.
The building comes into view through the trees, and I let out the breath I’ve been holding since getting out of the car.
It’s a beautiful resort, totally captivating in both its beauty and size. Several pools are clustered around the building, and there appears to be some kind of garden to the left. The building itself looks like it’s made entirely of glass, reflecting the sky at every angle like a perfectly-cut sapphire.
Incredible. That’s one word to describe it, but it fails to encompass the full splendor of this place. I thought the beach looked like paradise. This truly is heaven.
The moment we’re on the grounds, I’m brought a glass of lemonade by another man dressed in all white. He smiles at me warmly, calling me by my full name as he greets me.
“Miss Valerie Morgan, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Antonio, and I’ll be showing you around today.” His voice is deep and smooth, like a warm drink with cinnamon in it.
I almost feel guilty for liking it so much, but Pasha doesn’t seem bothered or jealous. I guess he trusts Antonio to remain professional, which is comforting. I’ve been in the hands of enough strange men already, and the only one I want to have any level of intimacy with is Pasha.
Pasha’s hand leaves my waist like a boat’s rope slipping off the peg that holds it to the dock. I’m in new waters now, unfamiliar but peaceful and optimistic. The journey has only just begun, but I feel like it’s going to turn out just fine.
I look back at Pasha, waving goodbye as Antonio leads me toward the resort building.
Pasha gives me a little wave, and I can see it in his eyes that he already misses me. Even if this is for the best, it’s not going to be easy without him. I’m sure he’ll be visiting, but at least for now, I have to do this alone.
But Pasha turns out to be right. It doesn’t feel much like rehabilitation, aside from the classes I’m required to attend, and everything becomes so much clearer to me. The way I’ve been treating myself was due to guilt over my sister Julia. I blamed myself for the car crash that took her life, even though she was the one driving.
That would sound unreasonable to an outsider, but it was more complicated than that. There were drugs and alcohol involved, and Julia and I genuinely felt like we were invincible that night. We fed off each other’s energy, bonding over the recklessness ofour actions until she lost control of the car and veered off the road.
So, my addiction became a way to punish myself for failing to protect Julia. I saw it as my redemption, but the truth is that through my addiction, I was only making things worse. Julia wouldn’t have wanted me to do this, so I’m honoring her name by giving it up.
