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I smile, touching the emerald hanging on my neck and feeling the smoothness of its facets. There are so many memories stored in this beautiful green crystal, so much love and laughter.
It’s time to make more wonderful memories, but first, we have to restore peace and order to the city. Our journey isn’t over just yet.
Pasha already seems to realize this, his body stiffening as he looks away from me. His eyes scan the kitchen, and a look of sorrow befalls his handsome features. He knows what’s coming, and it’s going to be one of the hardest challenges yet.
“We’re leaving tomorrow,” he says, finally looking back at me. There’s determination in his eyes now, the look of a man who can’t be defeated.
I nod. “I’m fine with that.”
“But first, I’d like you to take a pregnancy test.”
His sudden shift takes me by surprise, and I blink a few times to recalibrate myself. “You think I might be pregnant?”
“Do you?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t experienced any of the typical symptoms.”
He shrugs. “Those could come later. I’d rather know now before we leave, just to be sure. If you’re not pregnant soon, we’re going to have to take more drastic measures.”
Drastic measures? That doesn’t make me feel any less nervous about all this. I hope he means seeing a doctor and not finding a new woman to bear his children.
“I’ll have someone deliver a test,” he continues, taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze. “Don’t worry. This is just to make sure we’re on the right track. It’s a delicate situation, and unfortunately, we don’t have the luxury of taking our time.”
“Oh… okay,” I say, feeling a stir in my belly. I feel like if the test isn’t positive, I’ve somehow failed him. I know it’s ridiculous, but he wants this baby so badly.
Correction… Heneedsthis baby. The pressure feels like a literal iron boot coming down on my chest, crushing my lungs and rendering it impossible to take a full breath. My head feels like it’s filled with helium, and my vision is hazy.
“I need to sit down,” I say, stepping over to the little wooden chair in the kitchen and slumping over in it. I place my head in my hands, trying to recollect myself.
I feel Pasha’s warm hand on my back. “Are you alright?”
I nod, keeping my face hidden in my palms. “I’m fine. I just need a minute.”
“I know this is a lot for you. It’s been a hectic week.”
I look up at him and laugh. “A little relaxing, a little batshit crazy.”
“Welcome to the Bratva, my angel. It’s probably going to get worse before it gets better, but once we take care of business in the States, we’ll find a way to relax and enjoy ourselves properly. You deserve it after everything you’ve been through.”
“Everythingwe’vebeen through,” I reply, feeling strength through my words. “We did this together, and we’re going to get through it together.”
He nods as he pulls out his phone. “Right. Always together.” He begins texting someone, and I know it’s about the pregnancy test. I wish we could delay this, even until tomorrow, but that wouldn’t change the result. I’d probably go insane just from waiting.
No, it’s better to do it now, even if it’s making my stomach churn and my fingers tingle with anxiety. I want to know the results just as much as Pasha does. I want to know if I’m going to become a mother.
It strikes me only now that I’m heading toward motherhood. Up until now, I’ve been thinking of it as simply having a baby. Nowhere in my mind did I consider the fact that my role in life would change so drastically.
I was a free woman without a shred of responsibility in her life aside from rent and making a half-assed effort to keep her apartment clean. Then, I became Pasha’s girlfriend, and now I could become a mother.
And a wife?!
It all seems so foreign to me, but none of it is bad. I’ve suffered greatly to get here, and I’d be an idiot to turn down the blessings that life has bestowed upon me in return.
Pasha looks up at me from his phone, an excited grin stretched across his handsome face. He’s clearly hyped about this, but I’m all nerves. I wish I could have his carefree attitude right now.
“What?” I ask as he continues staring at me without a word.
He finally looks back down at his phone, stilling grinning like crazy. “Your test is on the way.”
