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He stood next to the bed, wearing a pair of flannel pants and a T-shirt as he spoke with someone she presumed to be from the hospital. She must have made a noise because he swiveled around to look at her in surprise.
“Thanks, let me know if anything changes. Goodnight.” He ended the call and set his phone aside. “Lindsey? What's wrong? Trouble sleeping?”
“You're the one who's not sleeping.” She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling self-conscious as she kept her voice low so as not to wake Josh. “I heard you bumping into things. What happened? Your dad?”
“He's fine. He managed a lopsided smile. “I'm sorry I woke you. I just wanted to check in on him. The night shift nurse assured me his vitals are stable and that he’s been getting some badly needed sleep.”
“That’s great to hear.” She wished there was more she could do, he wore his worry like a heavy winter coat. She knew better than most there were potential complications after surgery, especially something as major as undergoing a cardiac bypass procedure. “Maybe you should take something to help you sleep. You won’t do your dad any good wearing yourself down.”
Austin shook his head. “No, thanks. But I could use a hug.”
The flash of vulnerability in his gaze caught her off guard. How could she refuse a simple hug? Two steps found her in his arms, her face buried in the crook of his neck, his face nuzzling her hair.
“I was so worried about him, but you were calm, cool, and collected when you checked his pulse,” Austin murmured in her ear. “I'm glad you called the nurse when you did. Have I thanked you yet for coming along with me?”
Her heart swelled as she smiled against him. “Yes, you did. And I’m glad to be here.” She held him close, reveling in his embrace, but then loosened her grip to step back.
Only he didn't let her go. Caught within the circle of his arms, she glanced up to find him staring down at her intently. Awareness sizzled between them. It was always like this with him. And she really didn't understand why. Before she could break away, he lowered his head and kissed her.
As before his kiss melted her resistance. He kissed her with the hunger mixed with desperation, as if he were afraid she would run if he let her go.
The problem was that she didn't feel at all like running.
His mouth was sweet, gentle but probing as he took his time kissing her. In some corner of her mind she knew she needed to get a grip before this desire simmering between them spiraled out of control.
But she didn’t want to let Austin go.
He finally broke off their kiss but continued to cradle her close. “Lindsey, I’m falling in love with you.”
Love? She leaned back to look up at him, not sure she’d heard him correctly. “You are?”
“Yes.” His gaze searched hers with a breath stealing intensity. She desperately wanted to believe him. That this was the start of a real relationship. Not a rebound romance, the kind her mother had excelled at, but a real, based-on-love, relationship.
She wanted to respond in kind, telling him that she loved him, too. Probably more than she'd loved Sam. She and Sam had been too young to get married and becoming pregnant with Josh almost right away had added an additional strain to their new and fragile union.
Austin was different from Sam, in so many ways.
Yet a smidgen of doubt remained. Austin had played the field for so long, she found it hard to believe he really meant what he'd said. New line how is it possible that he'd suddenly fallen in love with her? And if so, why? How in the world was she any different from all the other women he'd ever gone out with?
“Lindsey, I asked you before and I haven't changed my mind so I'm asking you again. Will you please marry me?”
She sucked in a quick breath, her heart thundering in her chest. He may have asked her once out of misguided sense of wanting to help her, but twice? She didn't know what to think. “Why?” She blurted. “Out of all the women you've dated in the past, you never had a serious relationship. So why now? Why do you want to marry me?”
His expression turned grim. “My sisters did say something to upset you. I'm sorry, Lindsey. I can't lie. Amber and Andrea are right, I never dated anyone seriously before. But that was only because I never found anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
That was exactly what she was afraid of. “Sam always claimed you never dated the same woman more than once. I think he was jealous because he was stuck with me.”
Austin’s gaze darkened. “He was blessed to have you and Josh. Is that why you won't marry me? Because of Sam?”
“Not exactly.” Her broken marriage was part of the issue. She couldn't bear the thought of going from one bad relationship to another. “My marriage with Sam was about to end. I told you I filed for divorce the day before he left to go on that last smoke jumping mission. And I know deep in my heart that my telling him what I’d done is the main reason he died that day.”
“No, Lindsey that's not true. I should have told you this before.” He hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “Sam's death wasn't your fault. It was mine.”
“Yours?” She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”
“Yes. My fault.” He dragged his hands through his air, his expression pained. “I'm sorry. I should have come clean about what happened a long time ago.”
“What do you mean? What happened?” She didn't understand what he was talking about. Smoke jumping was dangerous, and that much she knew. But Austin wasn't the reckless sort, not in the way Sam sometimes was.
