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I spun to find Mirri patiently waiting for my attention. Because of course he was. Every single other member of his team had come to poke and prod at my tender heart. Why not Mirri as well? "Yes?" I said, as if he was a stranger I had never met.
I relaxed a bit when he produced a small plate of finger foods and assorted delicacies, rather than asking to dance. I didn't think I could stand having Mirri's hands on me, or I might go mad trying to tell him the truth. "It seemed that you might require food," he nodded his head toward a little alcove with a padded seat meant for resting between dances. "And perhaps a quiet moment to yourself?"
I watched the candlelight gleam against the black feathers of his mask for a long moment before I accepted his offering. "That sounds lovely, thank you."
Mirri accompanied me, and I let myself take him in from the corner of my eye. His coat and breeches were deep shades of rust and umber that accented his light red-brown skin and the wild reddish waves of his hair. His mismatched antlers glittered with a coat of gold paint, and he wore a glossy black raven pin at his throat. He radiated warmth. Softness and strength. And I wanted to lean into that more than ever at the moment. But I couldn't. Because he wasn't mine. He thought I was a palace servant they all had a crush on. Nothing more.
I sank onto the bench, and he sat beside me, both of us watching the laughing, glittering crowd and the whirling dancers. "I know I seem cruel," I whispered as I picked at the treats he'd brought me. "And for that, I am sorry. You've all been nothing but kind to me, despite our awkward situation."
Mirri drew in a slow breath and let it out, his eyes still focused on the crowd. His wings were hidden under his jacket, but I thought I heard a faint buzz. Like maybe he was moving his wings restlessly against the fabric. It must be uncomfortable to keep them pinned down and trapped like that.
"It's because of me," he said, a sad note in his voice. "They're doing this all because of me. Because of my family. If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be in this situation."
I shook my head adamantly. "No. If it wasn't for your situation with your family, Raven team would never have entered this tournament, true. But that would mean I never would have met you all, and I would never wish that." I touched the top of his thigh, my fingers resting against soft suede. "I want you to win," I told him earnestly. "I want you to have the safety that a match like this would provide. I want nothing more than for you all to be happy."
He turned to face me then, those warm golden eyes glowing beneath his raven mask. "And what of you? What of your happiness, Rina? Would it really make you so happy to be free of us? Would it not make you more miserable if we won, and we had to see you in passing every time we visited the palace, while married to someone else? It seems to me that we lose either way. If we lose this tournament, we lose the chance at safety and comfort. But if we win, we lose the chance of being with the woman we truly desire."
I shook my head. "I can't tell you how this will all turn out, Mirri. But have faith. You're all smart, capable, amazing males. Whatever the future holds, you will all make the best of it. I know you will. Together."
I handed him the plate of snacks and stood. "Here. I find I'm not so hungry after all. Go enjoy the dancing, Mirri. And don't waste the evening worrying for me."
Chapter 42
It took every ounce of strength I had to walk away from the sweet male behind me and head back into the crowd.
I skirted around the edges of the dancing, out a pair of ornate glass doors, and onto a cool, dark terrace. The space was lit only by a flickering torch and the nearly full moon above, which made it feel more private, somehow. Even though it was just a step away from the crowd in the ballroom. Sighing, I reached for the stone balustrade that curved around one side of the space and leaned my bare forearms against its comforting chill.
Closing my eyes, I drew a few deep breaths. It wouldn't be long now. Soon it would be time for the ceremony to announce the winners of the tournament for my hand. To announce my identity to the world and reap the rewards and repercussions of this whole twisted game that I played for the amusement of the kingdom and its rulers. I was nervous, of course. But I was also ready to be done with it. I wasn't just Rina, the gossip monger. I was Lady Katrina Bellflower, steward of Larkwood. The king and queen trusted me to govern a territory in their name. I was strong. I was capable. I could do this, and I would do it with poise and calm, the way I had been raised to.
I drew upon memories of my stepmother and how she always handled difficult situations with such grace and confidence. I drew upon the fond smiles of my father and the way he never doubted me. Standing up straight, I squared my shoulders and prepared to return to the ballroom and face my fate.
"Ah, if it isn't the Prize's favorite spy," a lazy voice drawled. I spun to find a massive male with golden hair, wearing a bejeweled jacket. His leggings were a couple sizes too tight, leaving nothing to the imagination. Which was undoubtedly a purposeful choice. He wore a stylized lion mask, and a familiar too-confident smirk. "Fancy meeting you out here all alone, sweetheart."
I quelled my inner groan and took a step toward the doors, attempting to sidle past him. "I was just leaving, actually. Lucky for you. You can have the space all to yourself, my lord."
Knowing what I did about Lion team's questionable place in this tournament, I wasn't thrilled to spend time in Talon's presence. I shouldn't have left the presence of my guards. But damn it, I had needed just one moment to myself to prepare for what was coming.
A big hand snapped out and wrapped around my upper arm, halting my escape. "What's the hurry, girlie?" he asked, his voice warm and suggestive. "We could get to know each other a little better while you tell me all about my future mate." He chuckled. "There's no need to keep all your employer's secrets at this point, is there? Not when the tournament is practically over. My team will win. And I’m sure I’ll be visiting the palace on the regular. I'll make sure to repay you for your…assistance."
I tried to pull away from him, but that only made him step closer, as if he thought I was attempting to pull him in. "You can't honestly think I want to canoodle with you out here and gossip about the queen’s secrets," I bit out. "You're insane."
My mind whirled as I tried to figure out what his constant overtures toward me might mean. Perhaps they meant nothing. Perhaps he really was just this insensitive. He probably just thought he could secure himself a convenient lover and a noble mate all in one fell swoop. Have the Prize and any woman who worked in her household in his bed. But I suspected that wasn’t the real reason he was so insistent.
Talon lifted his free hand to fiddle with my hair, like the oblivious jerk he was, so confident in his good looks and his supposed charm. "Oh, come on, love. Everyone knows Lion team is going to win this tournament. We've been in the lead for almost the entire game. And we won the last challenge. We found enough gold to fill the royal coffers for years to come." He leaned in to speak next to my ear. "You and me could have some fun, girl. We could turn this stuffy court upside down, once I’m bonded to someone with royal blood. We might as well start getting cozy."
I rolled my eyes, but the gesture was lost under my mask and the shadow of Talon's massive self-importance. "You haven't won yet, you ass. Let me go!"
He hesitated a moment at my rude language. Then he used his gigantic body to push me backward, pinning me up against the balustrade. "Oh, I know your type," he murmured, dipping his head and feigning slyness. "You like to show off your talons, little bird? I'm okay with that. I'll make you sing for joy." He nudged his hips suggestively against mine. "We can be real good friends, yeah?"
I scoffed loudly. "Oh, fuck off!"
Giving up on any pretense of civility, I leaned back over the balustrade to free up a bit of space, then lifted my knee with swift, violent passion. Talon yowled as I smashed his twig and berries, doing my best to drive them back up into his body. When he fell to his knees, I stepped around him, straightened my mask, and left the terrace without a backward glance. My guards were already closing in, clearly concerned that I had slipped their watch, but I waved them away.
I was beyond ready to get this over with.
My return to the ballroom was well-timed. I barely had a moment to check that my hair was still in place and my clothing was in order before a shimmering sound like wind chimes blossomed through the room, cutting through every other noise. The music gradually faded, and the sounds of frivolity dimmed to a dull background chatter as the royal officiant signaled that it was time to announce the winner of the Game of Hearts.
I squared my shoulders and sucked in a bracing breath, doing my best to prepare to reveal my secret and potentially anger the four men I had grown to think of as my own.
