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I smiled up at him. "I feel like I've been very stupid not to demand that you play for me every day. What was I thinking?"
He chuckled and smoothed a thumb over my cheekbone. "Oh, sweet lady. That was nothing. You should hear me sing." Then he bent and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I'll serenade you anytime you wish, Kat."
That sounded amazing. And confusing. Because all of my doubts were still swirling in my head like a cyclone.
I sighed and stood up to head back to the others, but Fife took my hand and pulled me to a stop. Arching a brow, I turned back to find him looking at me with a strange expression on his face and a little furrow marring the space between his brows. "What is it?" I asked, darting a glance around the pass before looking at him again. "Do you sense something?"
He released my hand to wave away my concerns as he tucked his flute under his arm. "No. Or, rather, yes. I do sense something. But it has nothing to do with your safety or the integrity of the pass." He glanced at the others, who were still chatting with Ore and the guards, then back at me. "What's troubling you, Kat? You've seemed distracted and pensive all day. And I get the feeling it has nothing to do with stewardships and assassins."
I sighed, feeling like a fool. "Am I really that transparent?"
His bowstring lips curled upward in a smug grin. "You really are." Then he leaned in and spoke with a conspiratorial whisper. "It's easy to watch you when you're so busy watching them," he informed me. "And you've been frowning and sighing all day."
I ran a hand over my face, mortified and feeling like an idiot. Of course Fife had noticed, even though he had been busy casting spells all day. He was so perceptive it was scary sometimes. "It's stupid," I muttered, unwilling to admit to my jealousy and pinning.
But of course, Fife had already had an idea about what was ailing me. "It's natural to be curious about the love lives of the males you're bonded to," he said, the teasing note in his voice giving way to something softer and more understanding. "But all you have to do is ask. I told you I wanted to strengthen this bond with you. I know the others have conveyed the same desire to you. There’s no need for secrets among us now."
I felt the heat of my blush and knew I must be rapidly approaching rose red shades of embarrassment, but I forced myself to be candid. "Are you all…I mean, it's none of my business, really. But I saw you and Adder together that night in the garden. And I may have accidentally peeked in on you and Mirri in the library, and that looked like it was about to turn into something like the garden incident, so I didn't linger." I rushed to assure him I wasn't some creeping voyeur. "I never meant to pry into your private moments. But…I just wonder how I fit into whatever it is you all have. Or if maybe I'm reading into things that aren't there?"
Fife didn't seem angry or defensive. He just gave me a wry smile. "I suppose we aren't exactly subtle. We've all been close for so long that it's hard to remember that some people might not understand, or that our roles may need to change now that we are bonded." He shook his head. "But I've never really meant to seem like I'm hiding anything from you. I don't mind you witnessing my 'private moments,' as you call them." He studied my face and a look of amusement graced his fine features. "You really don't remember much from the night of the wild moon, do you?"
I groaned. "No! I was so drunk on moon magic and whatever you put in that flask that I couldn't tell dream from reality when I woke the next day. I thought maybe I recalled…some things…but then I thought it was all just strange dreams and imaginings. Until I saw you and Adder in the garden."
Fife laughed. "Oh, Kat. I had no idea the cleric brew had affected you to that degree. It must be your human heritage." He sobered then, meeting my eyes with a resolute look. "I'm in love with Adder. I have been for…I can't even tell you how long now. Since we were children, barely old enough to know what love is. I care for the others as well, but it's a little different with them. We're good friends. Occasionally we are more." He shrugged. "We have fun together sometimes, alone or as a group." A mischievous glint entered his green gaze as he added, "We've shared a female on occasion, too. Not a proper relationship, nothing that serious. But the occasional fling or one-night entertainment."
He watched my face as I took that all in.
"Do you hate me now, Kat?" he asked softly. "Do you resent my place in their lives? Or their place in mine? I respect you. And I'm more than half in love with you, you know. But I won't give them up. I can't."
I heard the heartache in his voice and shook my head as something settled inside me. Choosing between me and the others would hurt him. Because he cared for all of us. And that included me. "I would never ask you to," I said honestly. What Fife and the others had was beautiful and lasting. A relationship built over years. There was no way I could ask them to give that up.
"I just don't know how I fit into all of that," I admitted, biting my lower lip as my gaze skittered away from the gorgeous man in front of me. "How can I possibly compete with any of…that?"
Fife's strong, graceful fingers slid through my hair and tilted my head back, forcing me to look him in the eye. "You don't have to compete with anything, silly woman," he said with a small smile. "Is that what this is about? You fear being left out?"
I sighed. "I fear you are so perfect and beautiful and magical—you all are—that I'm just a dull gray pebble among priceless gems. I see the way the others look at you and…Fife, you're the most beautiful fae I've ever seen. What would they possibly want with me? What would you want with me when you have them?"
He huffed a laugh and leaned in to kiss the tip of my nose. "Oh, you silly, beautiful woman. You simply can't see your own perfection." He shook his head. "You're worried about me? Well, I'm worried about you! Maybe no one will want me anymore when they have all of this kindness, and softness, and feminine perfection in their lives. Maybe they'll realize my pretty face isn't worth the awful, demanding character, or the mood swings, or the creepy magic." His expression softened. "Kat, you're not the only one with insecurities, I promise you. But I have faith in those men. And you should too. They are not the kind of males to toy with a person's affections or play cruel games. If they say they want to be part of your life, that they want to be bonded to you, then you must know that they mean it with every ounce of their being. Not a single one of them does anything in life with less than one hundred percent of themselves. They love with their whole hearts." His alluring voice dropped to a whisper between us. "And so do I."
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. Had I really thought that Fife was the competition? That he was going to hoard all the affection for himself and lord it over me like some catty highborn courtesan? I really was an idiot.
"You're right," I whispered. "Of course you are. I've been behaving like an insecure adolescent." I gazed into his vivid green eyes. "But what about you, Fife? You've just made the best sales pitch ever—for the others. Do you really not mind if I fall in love with all of them? And what does that mean for you and me?"
A slow, evil smile curved his beautiful lips. "Do you really think I'd selflessly hand over my mate and my other lovers and friends with no thought for my own desires?" he replied, humor lacing his voice. "What does this mean for you and me? Simple. It means we get to be the center of attention, in the middle of everything. Together." He leaned in and whispered in my ear, his voice low and sultry. "It means we get to share, Kat. And I'd very much like to share with you, if you're willing."
The arm that wasn't holding his flute trapped against his side curled around my waist and tugged me closer as Fife's lips met mine again, this time hungry and demanding. I looped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, all of my relief and wonder over this blessing poured out into this one perfect moment. My curves pressed to his lean, compact body, and his tongue met mine in a dance that lit up my entire body.
Then someone cleared their throat.
I jerked back from Fife like I'd been burned, turning to find Bach, Mirri, and Adder watching us with suppressed amusement while Ore and one of the guards loitered nearby, looking far too interested in the rock walls of the pass. I smoothed a hand down my front and pulled my shirt straight, then squared my shoulders to hide my embarrassment.
"Did you need something?" I asked Bach evenly.
He pressed his lips together to stifle a grin, but an amused smile got through, anyway. "Sorry to interrupt," he said, that smile widening. "But if you're done seducing the poor, innocent bard, we should probably head back home. We did have that…thing to do."
I nodded stiffly, ignoring his amusement at my expense. "Right." I waved the others on. "Off we go then." Glancing to the side, I nodded to Ore. "Ore, nice to see you again."
The construction supervisor sketched a brief bow my way. "Lady steward. Safe travels. I hope to see you again at the harvest festival before I make my way back home to Trireme." He grinned. "If you aren't too busy with your mates to say hello."
