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He turns over, and I’m too stunned by his ferocity to go after him. I don’t say anything else, and he goes to sleep with his back turned towards me.
Drazak has always had a hard shell around him, but now I worry it will grow impassable.
I can’t survive without him, and if he’s going to get through this—like he must—the only thing that will give him enough hope to keep going is her.
Chapter 8
Drazak
Of course I wanted nothing more than to agree. Yes, let her sleep in our bed with us, our little human. There we’ll keep her warm when the cold weather comes, and I’ll finally get to have her the way my body has been ravenously waiting for.
But Han’zir doesn’t see her the way I do. He doesn’t know the festering desire that’s steadily growing until it threatens to consume me. He sees her as an object, a cute decoration. A pet.
The next morning, Esme is out early to do something, and not even Han’zir can tell me where she is. I hope she hasn’t gone out again to hunt for berries. I brought home food so she would stop putting herself at risk that way. There’s little else to do, and Han’zir is in an oddly off-kilter mood. I suppose I can’t blame him, given everything, but I hadn’t realized just how much I rely on his endlessly optimistic attitude to keep me afloat.
“Why don’t you go and look for her?” he says, finally taking his eyes off the long stick he’s been whittling to glance up at me. He can’t shoot an arrow to save his life, but Han’zir’s not bad with a spear.
“You could go with me.” I survey his work. “I know you’re just killing time.”
He shrugs, then gets a glint in his eye. “No. I think you should go alone.”
I raise an eyebrow, feeling like I’m being lured into a trap but I don’t know what it is. Surely he doesn’t know the truth. Then he waves me off and returns to his somber task.
So I wander the farm, thinking Esme must have found some other chore to keep her busy. She’s always busy, always doing something to help. The longer I’m alone, the more I think about her body against mine when she embraced me, her soft breasts pressing into my belly, the sturdiness of her heart filling me with one need: to protect. My troll and my human, who are at greater risk now than they would be on any war front.
The barn is empty, and oddly, the fence the soldiers broke has been fixed. I wonder when she found time to do that? My path takes me through the pasture, which used to be dotted with cows but now lies empty, toward the river.
That’s when I hear splashing. I duck behind the trees, walking closer only a few steps at a time in case it’s some neighboring trollkin out for a swim. But then a laugh fills the air, like the jingle of gold coins. I would know it anywhere.
Still, I keep to the shadows as I approach the river. The two sets of clothes we once gave Esme are lying on rocks on the shore, drying out in the sun after being washed. So that’s what she’s been doing. Now she’s playing in the water, chasing after what looks like minnows just under the surface. Of course she’s naked as the day she was born, her cute little butt in the air as she dives again. She laughs when she misses, and I’m amazed she can have so much brightness in the face of so much endless darkness.
I’m drawn to her. There’s nothing I can do to stop my feet as they carry me down from the tree cover to the bank of the river. She doesn’t notice me at first, because while our human has a sweet heart, she isn’t very observant. It’s not until I start removing my shirt that she turns around and spots me.
“Drazak!” The excitement in her voice sends a thrill through me. She sinks down in the water, so her breasts are hidden under the surface, and a flush crosses her face. I’m not even in control of my hands as I fling the shirt to the side, then unbutton my trousers. Her big eyes grow wide, but she doesn’t move.
I need to be in the water with her. Whether she runs or not, I need to feel her nearby, to drink her in even if it’s just a small drop. She’s the salve I need on all my burns and scars, on this hopelessness that’s taken up a permanent home in my chest. My cock is already coming to life, having watched her chasing after fish, and imagining what that naked skin of hers might feel like against my own.
Esme’s wide eyes travel down my body as I take another step into the river, and the flush deepens when she reaches my groin, where I’m growing thick and hard for her.
“Drazak...?” she asks, her gaze returning to my face. She looks confused, but her eyes are alive in a way they’ve never been before.
I don’t think she hates what she sees.
Without answering I make my way deeper, and she stays where she is, floating underneath the gentle ripple of the water so all I can make out are the darker nipples at the tips of her round breasts. More than anything I want to touch them, to take one of those tiny nipples in my hand and then in my mouth. I want to know what she tastes like, because if it’s anything like how she smells, I could sate my need by simply licking her soft skin.
My mind empties of everything that isn’t Esme.
When I finally reach her the water is up to my waist, but her eyes still dart down to my cock where it lies under the surface. She doesn’t back away, remaining steadfast, as if waiting to see what I have planned. I stoop down so I’m closer to eye-level with her. All of her light brown hair is wet and dark, clinging to her small head and long, shapely neck. I want to sink my teeth into her smooth throat. When I reach towards her, she doesn’t move or even flinch. I tuck one of the wet strands behind her ear, then run my finger along the line of her cheekbone. She shivers, but I don’t think it’s from the cool water, not on a day like today.
I take in all of her face, how her chin is pointed, how her eyes are too big for her face and her nose is upturned at the tip. Her lower lip trembles as I lean closer, cupping her jaw in my big fingers. I don’t realize how large I am until I’m near her, and then all I want to do is envelop her, wrap her up completely in myself and never let her go.
My hand travels of its own accord to her mouth, where I smooth over her lips with my thumb. Her eyes are even wider now, and I think the confusion has all left. She knows why I’m here, because she understands me. She knows me, somehow, even though we’d never met before she arrived.
Ever so slightly, her lips part, and her tongue darts out to lick the pad of my finger. My whole body heats up instantaneously. What if that tongue were elsewhere? What might she do with it? Then she brings my whole thumb into her mouth, and I know then exactly how it would feel, what it would look like, to put my cock between those plump lips.
I groan as she sucks on my thumb, her eyes never leaving mine. Has she been wanting me, too? That, to me, is a mystery. How could a small, gentle human want a big, ugly orc like me? But she brings me even deeper into her mouth, then draws out my thumb to suck on my forefinger, instead. My breath nearly stops in my throat as her wide eyes drift up to mine.
I need more. No, I have to have more.
