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I might actually flip my desk if I hear Lance mention donuts after all that.
What was I waiting for? I didn’t want to be here. I had a better job waiting for me. I had a beautiful monster man sitting downstairs, ready to whisk me to his house and make me come repeatedly until I was nothing more than a puddle of fucked-out goo.
There was no fucking way I was going to sit down at my desk for even a second.
“I quit,” I heard myself say.
Lance turned from switching on his computer, blinking up at me in confusion. “What was that, bud?”
My mouth was dry, but I swallowed and repeated it. “I quit.”
Nearby colleagues had fallen quiet. Soon, the entire office was silent, and everyone was staring at me.
Sharon from Accounts jumped up out of her seat, eyes wide. “Taylor, did you just say you’re quitting?”
Chase appeared at his office door with a confused frown. Tim stopped gathering photocopies and turned to stare at me. Grace was wide-eyed behind the front desk, a hand covering her mouth.
I cleared my throat. “Yes. I quit. I’m going. Right now.”
My legs shaking wildly, I turned to grab my suit jacket and slip it back on. As I was reaching down for my backpack, Tim spluttered and marched over.
“What? No. You can’t just leave. You need to hand in a formal notice—”
“No, I’m not going to do that.” I hiked a thumb at the door. “I’m just gonna go.”
He spluttered again. “Your contract states—”
“Fuck my contract.”
Someone gasped dramatically as Tim turned puce, nostrils flaring. “If you want to receive your final pay cheque—”
“I’ll be okay.” I gave him a tiny smile and patted his shoulder. He flinched, looking like he was about to snap. “Take it easy, Tim. I mean… really, try and take it easy. The stress isn’t worth it.”
“Wait,” Sharon cried, looking distraught as she hurried over. “Why are you quitting?”
Mindy and Becky reappeared from the supply closet, arms loaded with spare keyboards and mouses. Mindy gasped.
“Taylor’s quitting?” she asked in horror. “But the brochure—”
“The brochure is great,” I assured her, even though I couldn’t have given less of a shit about it. “You’ve been awesome to work with, Mindy. You too, Becky. And Lance.” I turned to give him a smile. “You’ve been a great cubicle buddy all these years.”
“I’m—I don’t…” Lance seemed to be struggling to keep up, blinking at me owlishly. “You’re really… quitting? Just like that?”
“Uh-huh.” I let out a deep breath, tension melting from my shoulders. Giving Lance a brief pat on the arm, I started making my way to the door.
“But why?” Sharon wailed.
I stopped by the door and looked back at the office. Every single person was staring at me in stunned silence.
“Because I’ve always hated it here.” I shrugged. “I don’t even know what we do. And I don’t know what synergy means.”
No one really seemed to know how to respond to that, until Latitia from Sales blurted, “Neither do I,” then clapped her hand over her mouth with a nervous giggle.
I gave her a wry smile and hiked my backpack strap higher. “So… yeah. I’m going now. It was nice knowing all of you.”
“We’ll miss you, Taylor,” Grace breathed, gazing at me in awe.
I smiled. “I’ll miss you too, Grace. Oh, and by the way…” I pointed at the break room, then nodded at the stack of photocopied balls clutched in Tim’s arms. “Those are my boyfriend’s balls.”
