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“Well, if you don’t like it then I’ll have to find a way to become bulletproof,” I say with a laugh as I lean down to kiss his hair. He smells exactly as I remember, rum and spice and just a dash of chaos.
Chapter 7
The next few days pass by in a blur as they evaluate Arrow’s condition and his path to recovery. He’s becoming increasingly frustrated with his boundaries, the biggest of which is not being able to use the bathroom on his own.
When they asked what his first goal was, he said he wanted to be able to take care of me. His nurse, Brittany, laughed at that and told him it would be me taking care of him for a while. They think he can get back to normal in about three months, but he will have to put a lot of work into regaining his muscle mass.
Right now, his goal is to be able to use his walker to get to the bathroom. It’s been three days, and he’s eating normal foods,although they’re instructing him to take it easy with that. He no longer has an IV or any lines attached to him, which makes it much easier for him to work with the physical therapists.
“Mark my words,” he says as he sits on the side of the bed, nearly out of breath from trying to stand, “I will be using that damn bathroom by the end of the week.”
“Alright there, tiger.” He narrows his eyes at me, but there’s no heat behind it.
“Do you doubt my level of determination, Kitten?”
A shiver travels down my spine when he calls me that. I missed his voice more than I care to admit. It feels like the world doesn’t spin so out of control with him awake.
“Determination, no. But I was the one doing your range of motion exercises while you were out for the past sixty-three days. So, I know where you need the most work.”
“I can surprise you.”
That he can. Seeing his beautiful sea-blue eyes open each morning is still a miracle to me. Sometimes, I’ll just stare at him while he reads or eats because I can’t believe he’s back.
But then a pang of resentment hits me. He was going to leave. I could feel it with every fiber of my being how he was pulling away before he got shot. It’s difficult for me to let him back in now. He might be awake, but how do I know he won’t try to leave again the moment he can?
When he was asleep, it was different. I threw myself into caring for him so that I could tune out the world around me. But now, he can talk back. Now he can offer excuses and apologies that I don’t want to hear.
I’m so sick of him and Havoc saying that they’re sorry. I don’t need empty words and promises. I need actions. Something that shows they are serious about me. Something that proves they won’t run away when they get scared.Again.
A knock sounds at the door, and I hastily tuck the stuffed unicorn I was holding onto behind me. Havoc walks in, flashing Arrow a dreamy smile while he avoids eye contact with me. He sits down on the couch next to me before finally looking my way.
“Is it okay that I’m here?”
I tuck my feet in under me and curl up into a ball on the side of the couch, leaning away from him. I can’t stop him from coming if Arrow wants him here. I want to tell him no, to leave and stay away from me until I can trust them again. But that didn’t work so well before, so I leave it up to the patient.
“It’s not up to me. It’s Arrow’s room.”
Arrow pauses in his movements to sit back on his bed. “The two of you really need to work through this.”
“I’m not ready to let you both back in yet,” I say, pulling up my phone and pretending to pay attention to the funny videos that come up.
“You don’t have to let us in,” Arrow says, making himself comfortable while Brittany tidies up and pretends to ignore us.
“You just have to stop trying to shut us out,” Havoc finishes for him.
“Since when are the two of you close?” I ask, losing one hundred percent of interest in my phone.
Arrow shrugs when I look to him for answers.
“Since I woke up and decided I’m done trying to hide how I feel about him.”
My eyes widen, bouncing back and forth between them. Havoc’s grin is so wide, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it like that without menace behind it. And Arrow looks at him like he’s completely in love.
“What. The. Fu…”
I cut myself off when a red dot appears on the couch between us. It rapidly moves from me to Havoc, causing me to jumpwithout thinking. I cover his body with mine as I pull us to the floor. He rolls over to shield me just as glass shatters around us.
Brittany screams, ducking down, and Arrow gets onto the floor beside us. My panicked gaze meets Havoc and his eyes are full of surprise.
