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Hey, maybe I’d even go along with it. Try to enjoy it. I knew what I liked now, that being Wes and the way he touched me, fucked me.
Okay. I need to stop thinking about him.
I’d roll with Skylar. That will surely help.
It’s finally time for me to take the stage and I sigh to myself before leaving my dressing room. It has become easier to take the stage lately. I’m too miserable to care now. Who cares if I mess up on stage? I would love nothing more than to have the fame ripped away from me so I could become the mess I am and stop having to pretend I’m okay.
I’m one bad performance away from a downward spiral.
I mean, I still have to try to do well for the fans and because I actually do enjoy singing and the rush of the crowd singing with me. I love the feeling of the drumbeats under my feet, the guitar and the bass radiating out of the amp, and the mic in my hands. I love singing, I really do.
I love Wes and I love singing.
I do a bump, then get up before swinging open the door to my dressing room.
I see Wes walking by. He stops in his tracks when he sees me, looking at me with his big, brown eyes. He looks forward, then back at me.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I hope you’re doing okay.” He says, staring at me. “I really hope you’re doing well.” He states before turning forward and walking into his dressing room.
So, he does care about me still.
It makes me smile a little as I walk up to the side stage area. Someone fastens a mic pack to me, and Sue touches my shoulders.
“You got this.” Sue tries to encourage me, and I nod at her, thankful for even the slightest help.
I spot Skylar out of the corner of my eyes, standing against the rail. He smiles at me, and I smile back before taking the stage.
I didn’t want to date Skylar, but I didn’t want to go back to being all alone. Plus, I’m looking forward to a good distraction.
I take the stage and sing my heart out.
I walk off stage and Skylar comes up to me as I take off my mic pack and hand it to the stage manager.
“You were amazing out there. Ready to roll?”
“Sure. I just need to pack up my things.”
“I’ll come with, but first let’s get a drink.” We walk over to the table of alcohol. He picks up a bottle of vodka and pours some into two cups. He adds a decent dash of orange juice to both cups. “They say orange juice helps intensify the high. I don’t know if I buy it, but hell, let’s try it.”
“Yeah.”
We walk back to my dressing room, and I start packing up my stuff. Sue will come in and take it back to the bus. I look in the mirror, fixing a bit of my makeup that smudged. I apply a bit of lipstick and run my hands through my hair.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
“Here.” Skylar smiles, holding out his hand. He drops a pill into my hand. “It’s supposedly really pure.” He pops a pill into his mouth and throws back his drink.
I hold the pill for a moment. I know this is a bad idea. Surely Wes would be disappointed in me for doing this. I know Sue wouldn’t like the idea of me doing drugs without having Skylar sign an NDA, at least. There are a million reasons why I shouldn’t be doing this, but I need the distraction. And it’s not like Wes will ever know. Even if he does find out, it will be another reason why we can’t be together.
I pop the pill in my mouth and throw back my drink like Skylar did. I pull out my vial and do a bump for good measure.
“Are you sure you don’t want some?” I ask him.
“No. I’m good.”
