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“Sure. Thank you.”
“Anytime. So, what are you up to?”
“Just walking around. Kind of bored.”
“I’m surprised you’re up and functioning. Last I saw you, you were tripping balls with Skylar.” He laughs.
“Yeah.” I shrug.
“Ecstasy?” I nod. I probably shouldn’t be confessing this to him. He hasn’t signed an NDA, but I really didn’t care. Plus, I’m sure he wouldn’t blab it to the press. He is Wes’s friend, after all. “Nice. Been awhile since I tripped.”
“It was fun. Maybe a little intense.”
“And you aren’t having a bad come down, so that’s good.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad come down or a real hangover.”
“Lucky.” He laughs. “Wes is nursing a wicked hangover right now. I think he may actually still be drunk.”
“He seemed sober when I last saw him.”
“It was after bus call when he started drinking. I’m surprised he didn’t drunk call you.” Ben puts out his cigarette. “He was a mess.”
“Oh.” I pull out the vial from my pocket. There isn’t much left, but some might help him. “Can you give this to him?” I hold it out for Ben. He takes it from my hand.
“Coke?” He asks, tilting his head to the side and studying the substance in the vial. I nod. “I didn’t know you had the hookup.” He says with a laugh. “Thank you. He will probably need this to survive tonight’s show.” He slides it into his pocket.
“Thank you, I’ll see you around.”
“Bye, Abbey.”
I finish my cigarette as I walk back to my bus. I put it out and climb onto my bus.
“How was your walk?” Sue asks.
“Good. Thank you for letting me take it.”
“You’re welcome. So far, not much has come out about you from last night. There are just a few pictures of you and Skylar together smiling. No mention of drugs, thank God.”
“We aren’t a couple. I want that made clear.”
“I think it’s best not to say anything and let them think you are a couple. It will help with the rumors.”
“Fine.”
I put on my headphones and listen toHaunting Memories. They were my new favorite band, and the only way for me to feelclose to Wes. The only way I allow myself to be close to him is through his music. I can’t give that up.
I keep going over what Wes said last night. That girl and he were just friends. He hadn’t moved on yet. He still loves me for some reason. I mean I’m glad he isn’t over me quite yet, but I know given more time he will eventually get over me. Hopefully by that time we are far apart, and I won’t have to witness it.
I know I should be careful when it comes to hanging out with Skylar. I didn’t want to hurt Wes by having him think Skylar and me were a couple, but I really didn’t want to be alone. Skylar seemed like good company, or at least a good distraction from my misery. I don’t think I can take being miserable another second. I want to be distracted from my pain, at least until I got my freedom back so I could deal with it in the ways I’d like to, like not eating or cutting.
For now, I’d have to settle on getting fucked up with Skylar. I wonder if he has any other drugs. I wonder if he could get me coke because I know it’s going to be a bit before Sue gets me another pick me up. I know she didn’t like the fact I did ecstasy with Skylar.
I try to write songs but all I can manage to write is sad songs inspired by Wes and it makes my heart ache, so I give up on that. I just lay there curled up on the couch, waiting for sound check.
It’s not until I’m walking off stage after sound check that I see Skylar again. He comes walking up to me with a smile on his face. I quickly glance around the backstage area for Wes but he is not back here yet.
“Hey. How are you?”
