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“Let me get it.” He offers, swinging his legs off the bunk. “I’m sure you feel like shit.”
I nod. He gets off the bunk and walks down to the kitchen area. I notice the lights are off, and the bus is moving to the next venue. I feel disoriented, though. My head throbs.
He comes back with a water bottle, and I take one sip, and the nausea hits. I quickly cover my mouth and find a trash can so I can throw up.
He rubs my back as I dry heave into a small trash can. The only things coming up are the water and bile. It makes my whole body hurt to retch.
“More will help. Dry heaving is bad for the vocal cords.”
I take a long sip from it, to turn and throw it up again.
“Fuck. I feel like I’m made of stone and bile.”
“More water.” He demands, and I take another tiny sip. When I don’t throw it up right away, I take another tiny sip. “Good girl.” He pulls me to my feet.
“I feel heavy.” I whisper.
“Sleep some more.”
“Wes. I’m sorry.”
“For what exactly?” He looks into my eyes.
Tears fill my eyes. “The heroin.” My lip shakes. “And you know, everything.” I start to cry.
“You’re okay.” He placates me, putting his arms around me. “It’s okay.” He steers me back to my bunk and tucks me into it. I lay on my side crying, and he adjusts behind me. He pushes my hair out of my face and rubs my head. “Everything is going to be okay. It’s just the comedown.”
I drift back to sleep with Wes rubbing my head.
I wake up, and Wes is no longer by my side. I slowly get up. I’m feeling a little bit better, but my arm and knees still ache. I can hear Wes and Sue talking down in the kitchen area, but I can’t make out what they are saying.
I check my phone and see about a dozen messages from Skylar. He is asking if I’m okay. If I made it back to my bus in one piece. Apologizing for not going after me. He isn’t a bad guy. He's just deep in the party lifestyle.
I reply. “It’s okay. I made it back to my bus just fine. I’m just feeling a little out of it. Hope you are doing okay.” I leave out the fact that Wes helped me get back to my bus. I didn’t need any more drama.
I toss my phone to the side and walk out to the common area in just a shirt and panties. Sue and Wes both stop talking when they hear me coming down the bunks. That’s a good sign they were talking about me. They both look at me.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Sue asks, extra loud as if I’m nursing a hangover, which I’m sure feels familiar to this.
“Fine.”
“Hungry?” Sue asks.
“No.” I put some toast in the toaster anyway, wanting to still follow the rules and to try to convince them that I’m not that bad off. However, the idea of eating dry toast makes my stomach twist and my mouth ache.
“Skip the coffee. You need water.” She orders.
Wes just looks at me, saying nothing at all, which is somehow worse than saying everything I know he wants to say.
“Okay.” I pour myself some cold water into a glass. Cold water sounds so good right now. My mouth is still dry.
I put butter on my toast and sit on the couch. I take a few bites of my toast and sip some cold water.
“I have a blood test scheduled for tomorrow.”
“It was a clean needle. I saw him pull it out of the packaging and everything.”
“Still, was this your first time?”
