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“And it’s not a date.”
He shrugs at that. “It’s a friend date.” He pauses, looking around the restaurant.
“Bathrooms are the other way.” I say, and he raises an eyebrow. “I always know where the nearest bathroom is.” I shrug.
“Will you be okay while I go?”
“Yes.” I say softly.
“I’ll be quick.” He says and gets up.
I know I could get up and be back before him, if I hurry. I could throw up in the bathroom and be back in under five minutes with the amount of food and liquid in my stomach. It would be so easy. And even if I wasn’t back before he was, he would have no way of knowing how long I was gone.
But, I told him I would try, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.
My hands grip the side of the chair to anchor myself. I will not get up. I will not throw up. I will not disappoint him.
“The check.” The server says, setting it down in the middle of the table.
I nod, unable to speak. He leaves.
Time seems to drag on, but I’m sure it was just a few minutes. I wonder what I look like to the other people in the restaurant. There has been the feeling of eyes on me all night, but now I can’t be sure if I’m just being paranoid or not.
“Miss me?” Wes asks, coming back and sitting down across from me. I nod. “Are you okay?” He asks, pulling out his wallet and sliding his card into the check booklet without even looking at the cost. I nod again. “Abbey?”
“I did it.” I say quietly.
“Did what?”
“Stayed here.”
“You didn’t go throw up?” He asks with a big smile.
“No.” I say and let out a deep breath. My eyes water from being still for so long, but some of the tension leaves my body. I relax my grip on the chair.
“Good girl.” He says with a big grin. “Now, you get two hours on my bus.”
“I still have breakfast.”
“You’ll do fine.” He says. “I’m proud of you.”
“I do need to pee, though.” I respond. It’s true, I need to pee, but more than anything, I just need a minute alone. I’m buzzed, and my mind is starting to feel things for him I know I shouldn’t feel.
“Go on. I’ll finish here and meet you upfront.”
I get up from the table and grab my purse and jacket.
“I’ll be quick.”
“Keep trying.” He says with a smile, and I know he means to keep fighting against the urge to throw up.
There is no one in the bathroom when I walk in, and my mind tells me that’s a sign I should throw up, but I know better. I don’t think I would be able to lie to Wes if he asked, and he surely would ask. And there is another thought nagging in my head. Kissing him.
I know it shouldn’t be there. There is no way he would be kissing me tonight. We are just friends. He said he didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Though he did say he wasn’t ruling out sex.
Still, I shouldn’t be wanting to kiss his perfect, full lips.
I pee and stand in the stall for a moment. It would be so easy. No one else is around to hear me. I could easily have my fingers down my throat.
