AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yes, Abbey?”
“Do you still have feelings for her?” I whisper, trying not to cry.
He laughs. “No. No, I do not.” He takes my hand back in his. “I’m sorry. It probably seems like I do, but trust me. I do not have feelings for her anymore. She has a habit of using me every time. I swear it's the last time, but I give in each time she asks. I don’t know why. Probably because I don’t want her to think I still have feelings for her.” He looks at me. “And I hated her talking to you. I would’ve preferred you and her never to cross paths. She is bound to sell some story about you or us or something. I wish I could’ve prevented that. Not to mention that Alan guy was sizing me up and checking you out. The whole thing just made me very upset, but I’m sorry. I do not have feelings for her. I promise. Whatever we had has long passed, and even more so, I feel incredibly more for you than I ever did for her.”
I blink back tears and clear my throat. “Remember when I told you a guy punched a hole in the wall because I wouldn’t let him fuck my ass?” He nods. “That was Alan.”
“I’m glad I didn’t know that. I would’ve beat the crap out of him.” He smiles at me, squeezing my hand.
“Are you really going to put her on the list?”
“Yeah. Probably.”
“Why?”
“Easier than having her make a scene outside the venue.”
“Is she on drugs?”
“No. She is just a chipper, manipulating bitch.” He chuckles.
“She is really pretty.” I say and bite my tongue to keep from crying.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly sad. I don’t want to see her again, because I knew the comparison would happen. She is much prettier than me. Maybe before I lost so much weight, I could’ve given her a run for her money, but the eating disorder wrecked my body.
“Abbey.” He says, putting his arm around me. “You are really beautiful.”
“Not like her.”
“Don’t compare yourself to her.”
“Because I don’t compare.”
“Because she is bat shit crazy and all fake. Boob job, nose job, diet pills.”
“And I’m a skeleton. All bones and crazy.”
“You are not crazy.” He says. “And trust me, you are not all bone. Not anymore.”
“I was. I lost chunks of my hair. I looked like a skeleton. It took me months to look normal again. I can’t eat a fucking sandwich. I’m fucking crazy.”
I’m about to start crying, and he quickly pulls me down an alleyway. I wipe at my eyes as tears spill from them.
“Abbey. God damn it.” He pulls me into a warm, inviting hug. “You are not crazy.”
“That’s why we can’t be more.” I say softly. “Because I’m crazy and dark and sad and fucking disgusting.” My eyes burn as more tears flood them and begin to drip down my face before I can stop them.
“We can’t be together because you don’t want us to be. I want to be with you, crazy or not. I want you.”
“I know, and it’s stupid. You should want nothing to do with me. You should run in the other direction. We shouldn’t even be friends. You deserve so much better.”
“I hope by better, you don’t mean Haley because she is really bat shit crazy and cheated on me.”
“No, you deserve someone even better than her, better than either of us. Prettier, smarter, and normal.” My lip is shaking, sadness pounding into me from all sides.
“But Abbey.” He says with a light laugh. “I want you.”
“But I’m freaking out in an alleyway, and you don’t deserve this.” I wave to myself.
