Page 12 of The Year I was Almost Prom Queen

I slip in the front door. I just want some time to think. I’m so overwhelmed and confused right now! Is this actually my life? I try and sneak upstairs, unseen.

“Emma, come in here!” Mom’s voice calls from her office.

No such luck. I drop my backpack by the door and drag my feet across the hardwood. “Yeah Mom?” I ask from the doorway.

She waves me in. “Look at how beautiful these are,” she says.

I move closer to her computer screen. Prom dresses. Of course. How did I forget that going to prom means I have to wear a fancy dress? Ugh!

Mom pulls me down into the chair beside her. “I think you would look stunning in this navy blue one. Oh, but look at the neckline on that one.” She points to another dress. They scream Mom. They definitely don’t look like Emma dresses. Actually, I would be the one screaming if I had to wear one of those things.

“Oh, my goodness, look at that one!” She points to a frilly, fuchsia sparkling creation.

I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. “Mom, come on.”

She sighs dramatically. “Come on, what? It’s beautiful.”

“Have you ever known me to wear pink? Ever? In my entire life?”

“Only when you were a toddler, before you got a mind of your own and started hating everything I love.” Her eyes finally pull away from the screen and she looks at me. “You know, when I was a prom queen candidate, I loved going dress shopping with my mom. We went to a bunch of different stores, until we found the perfect dress. Then we went out to lunch, and got manis/pedis done. We spent the whole day together. It’s one of my best memories.”

Mom seems to choke on the last word. I stare at her. Is she actually starting to tear up? She grabs a tissue off the desk and blots beneath her eyes.

“I know you don’t want to go to the mall with me or anything—”

I shake my head emphatically.

“Can’t we just look online for a little while? Like an hour?”

I swear this woman comes up with new ways to torture me on a daily basis. “I’m sorry, Mom, I’m just not in the mood right now.”

Mom sighs again.

“What if I don’t want to do it?” I whisper. “What if I turn down the nomination?”

Mom turns so fast, I have to jump back to avoid my toes being run over with her desk chair. Her eyes scan me up and down. “Oh Emma, don’t be ridiculous.”

“But I…”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll help you look like you fit in with that group.”

I close my mouth. I swallow the lump of protests in my throat. It won’t do any good.

“How did I end up with a daughter like you?”

I’m not sure if she meant for me to hear the comment or not, but I did. And it stings enough that I make my way up to my room and lay on my bed. My head is swimming.

If my dad didn’t tell Jaron to ask me to prom, then who did? And what was the deal with Austin? He could have asked me to any other dance, but he’s never shown an interest. Why now? Why prom? Am I really that pitiable? And Ethan Hayden? Really? The guy could go with any girl in the school. Why me?

I roll over and grab my phone off the nightstand. It’s 5:04pm. Shoot! I need to get started on homework! But I feel too rattled to focus.

Then I think about what Mrs. Reyes said: don’t let the feelings fester. Without giving it too much thought, I begin recording.

“Hey Steve, me again. The weirdest thing happened today. I had several guys in my class tell me they would have asked me to prom, but they already have dates. I discovered someone posted a horrible picture of me online. It was like an advertisement begging for a date for prom. It was totally awful! I may actually die. But then three different guys actually went and asked me! I’m not sure what to think. My dad said he hadnothing to do with it, but I wouldn’t put it past my mom. Is she campaigning for me? Why did Jaron ask me? I mean, he’s like stupid hot! But why would he think of me when he’s got girls like Taylor and Adika and Tessa to compare me to?” I sigh. “Alright Steve, this is turning into a ridiculous monologue. I’m going to go to bed now. All I’m saying is how do I decide between Jaron, Austin, and Ethan? Who do I go with? Or do I even go at all?”

Chapter Four

I can’t believe I made another journal video. It’s stupid. What’s the point? Yet my anxiety seems to have leveled off, just a little.

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