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“Ada—”
“No.” Her palm came up to me. “I know it takes a lot of time, sometimes. But you. Lyle. And you using your powers. You not using your powers. And nothing.”
“And it doesn’t mean a thing. Why do you think the initial agreement was for a year? It is my job to impregnate women, and even I understand the limitations. It can take time.”
“Did Oriane survive the castle destruction?”
My brow furrowed at the topic change. “She did. Half dead and even more insane, but she did. What she did—bringing me into your mind—it fried her brain more than hurting either one of us. She is far, far away from here.”
Her head shook as it dropped forward, her voice dipping to a whisper. “Long ago, Oriane said I was death.”
“I remember.”
Her head continued to shake as she avoided me with her stare locked downward into the dark chasm below our dangling feet. “Maybe that is why I haven’t been able to conceive. I am a breeder, but maybe anything that tries to grow inside of me dies.” She choked back a sob. “Maybe Cletus ripped out…”
I wrapped my right arm around her, pulling her tight to me. “He didn’t. I would know it. Your body wouldn’t react to me like it does if something was amiss.”
“Do you actually know that?”
No. Not for certain.
“Of course, I do.”
Her shoulders lifted with a heavy sigh. A sigh that told me she didn’t believe me, but she was going to choose the lie because it gave her hope. “Then maybe it is what is inside of me—my power—my power is death personified, so why in the world should there be room for life in my body?”
“That is ridiculous.”
“Is it?” Her look shifted to me. “Hell—I don’t even know what I really am. How I did what I did in Cletus’s torture chamber, how I killed everyone? All I know is that I’m a monster.”
My left arm clamped around the front of her, and I pressed the side of her head to my chest, holding her tight to me, trying to physically keep her from sinking down this rabbit hole.
My face tilted down, my lips meeting the top of her head. “You’re right.”
Her head jerked away, looking up at me. “I am? I was kind of hoping this is the part where you tell me I’m not a monster.”
I chuckled. “You’re not a monster. But you are right in that we don’t exactly know what you are. Not really. So we don’t know exactly what could be the hiccup in mating. How does your kind usually tease out what you are, where your power comes from?”
Her shoulders twitched upward under my hold. “I don’t know. The elders handle that—the lineage, the breeding. They know everything of everyone.”
“Then we need to go back to the start—your start—and find out what we can about your powers, about your lineage. Maybe there’s a clue there.”
She nodded, fresh hope in her eyes as she looked at me.
Hope I prayed to the heavens wasn’t misplaced.
I nudged her chin. “Know any elders?”
A smile crossed her face. “Uncle Tri.”
I groaned.
“I know, not your favorite. But if anyone can get us answers, he can.”
I nodded, hating myself for even considering this. “For you. For this smile. But we need to do this quietly.”
Chapter17
{ Damen }
