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"Do you want this life?" he asked finally. "Are they forcing you into this life, or do you want it?"
"What? I mean, it's n-not, my, first choice." My words came out sounding choppy, and I tried to think of what else to say. "Of course, I daydream about a different life. I told you I write stories. I have thoughts of leaving, but that doesn't mean that I'll ever get to. I do appreciate this day, though. It's been amazing to just sit here and get to know you for a while. It's like one of the scenes I would make up. This is even better, easier. You're such a cool guy."
"You're talking like you're never going to see me again," he said.
"I mean, you've got Keanu and the movie, and I've got the Etsy store."
"So, that's it? One breakfast? That's all I get?"
He leaned toward me. He was closer now. We had been sitting close to each other all along, but he was closer now. Goodness. His presence. He was so close to me that I could hardly breathe. Owen looked like a movie star. He was a movie star. None of this seemed real. He was staring at me from only inches away.
I had shared with him all of the drama that happened early in my life. I had told him about my overbearing family and yet here he was, staring at me like I was a normal person—like I was someone he was attracted to.
Owen was so close that I could smell his body. I wasn't sure if it was cologne or deodorant. It was something light, but a certain scent was there, the smell of a man. I could hardly think straight. He was right next to me, and he was looking at me like something was about to happen. I had never been in a situation like this before—one where I was staring at a man and he was staring at me, and both of us seemed like we wanted to kiss each other.
"If you don't want me to, just say it. I'll leave you alone if you say you don't like me."
"It's not about liking you. I like you so much. If I let anything happen, then my heart might get involved. I was just trying to be smart."
"Please don't be smart," he said.
Was he asking me to kiss him?I thought that was what we were both saying, but I couldn't trust myself in this moment when all I wanted to do was get closer and closer to him. I imagined him leaning in and kissing me, and I felt a physical sensation—warmth in my core. I smiled and looked away.
"Am I scaring you right now?"
His proximity left me breathless. His face was a foot from mine. I glanced back at him. "I-I, no, I'm not scared. I would not use the word scared to describe what I'm feeling right now."
"I like you so much, Corey. I want to see you again."
"I like you too, Owen. But at the same time, we have to be realistic. I don't even know my real name, let alone which fork to use at the dinner table."
"I like you because of all those things and not in spite of them."
I smiled thoughtfully at him. "You sure do know what to say to a girl, Owen Atkinson."
"No, I don't. If I knew what to say, I would've said it already. If I knew the right words to say, I would be making plans to see you again. I would have already kissed you."
He was irresistible. I loved his candid personality. I was captivated by his presence, and his words were just too perfect. He had said point-blank that he wanted to kiss me, and the anticipation was now more than I could handle.
"I don't know what to do," I said, shaking as I sat next to him.
"About what?" he asked, sounding concerned.
"No, I mean, I just don't know what to do, period. I don't know how to kiss anyone. I've never done anything like this before."
Owen let out a breath and closed his eyes for a second.
"I'm sorry," I said, pulling back and assuming I had ruined the moment.
"No, don't move," he said, speaking softly. "It's a perfect moment. This weather, this water. It's perfect. You're so beautiful, Corey. You're entirely different than anyone I've ever met. I only hesitated because it was a long time ago that I grew out of girls saying that it's their first kiss. That's no offense, it's just the truth. You're too beautiful for that statement to be real."
"It's real. I've watched it in movies and imagined it, but it's so different being this close to someone who I…" I took a shaky breath, staring at the light patches of facial hair that grew on Owen's jaw. "I've never been this close to anyone."
He stared at me, scanning my face. "I don't want you to be scared of me or regret this happening," he said. "As much as I want to try to get close to you, I also don't want to do anything that's too much. I'd rather take it slow."
"No, I would like you to," I said, my voice coming out soft and vulnerable.
"You would like me to wait?"
