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I touched my stomach.
It was a bit late for that. I hadn’t told any of the guys I was pregnant yet, but I was sure they suspected something the night before, when I turned down the wine they offered me in favor of green tea. It wasn’t something I’d planned, and I wasn’t sure how they were going to react.
The future that we’d talked about included kids, but I wasn’t sure I was ready yet.
“There must besomeupsides,” I said as I outlined the butterfly’s torso. “What about having unconditional love?”
The woman’s shoulders relaxed.
“Oh yeah, there’s nothing like it,” she said. “I don’t regret the kids — not even for a moment. Just their dad. He drinks, gambles, disappears and won’t even pay for a new pair of shoes.”
The way she described her ex made me realize that would have beenmyexperience too, if I’d had children with Nathan. He would have disappeared when I needed him and criticized me when I did something wrong. And I’d be looking over my shoulder every day, waiting to see how he was going to hurt me or the baby next.
These guys would be nothing like that. Xavier would be a wonderfully responsible father, who would always make sure there was food on the table. Jackson would teach the kid about art, and Adrian would be the parent who was loving, patient, and kind.
Even now, Jackson kept looking up from his own work to check how I was going. Adrian brought me a fresh cup of hot chocolate that he carefully placed next to me, and Xavier… well, he was Xavier. Gruff, moody and professional. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The butterfly’s wings were delicate work, but I kept my hand steady and filled in the design with black first, then color. Every stroke I added made the design look more realistic, and I felt increasingly excited as I realized how much Lara was going to love it when I’d finished.
As I’d predicted, when I handed her the mirror, her face broke out into a massive grin.
“That’s beautiful!” she said. “How much do I owe you?”
I led her to the counter and processed her payment, and as she left with a smile on her face, Adrian gave me a high-five.
“You’re getting better,” he said. “It feels good to make someone that happy, doesn’t it?”
I smiled and resisted the urge to touch my belly.
“Without a doubt,” I said. The appointment book was open in front of me, and I picked up the pencil and used it to circle the next name in Jackson’s column.
Helen Williams.
It was the appointment I’d been looking forward to ever since Xavier showed me the fake skin with the nipple on it in the restaurant. I’d called her a few hours ago to confirm the appointment, and she assured me she’d be here “with bells on”. Her appointment was scheduled for three, and it was almost five past. So where was she?
I picked up the phone and as I was about to dial her number, the doorbell rang.
“That’ll be her,” Adrian said, and walked around the counter to open it. Helen burst in, her smile contagious, her face radiant and healthy.
“Are you ready?” I asked her.
“Of course I am,” she said, as her eyes drifted over my tattoos. “I’d loved my phoenix tattoo so much that over the past six months, I’d added several more: a sleeve on my arm with lions, tigers, and foliage; Australian native wildflowers on my thigh; and tattoos on my back that reminded me of my three lovers: a dragon for Adrian, a wolf for Jackson, and a viking for Xavier.
“What do you think?” I asked, as I pulled my sleeve up and showed her the tiger.
“I love it, but that’s not my style,” Helen said with a chuckle. “I think I’ll stick with the nipple for today.”
“Let’s make you comfortable and get this started,” Jackson said, and led her to his reclining chair. “Do you want Emma to stay with you?”
Helen nodded as she sat down, and I was reminded of my first session with Cora scrolling through videos to watch.
It felt like a long time ago now.
Jackson drew the curtain around us and showed Helen the photograph of the nipple that she’d already picked out. He’d printed it in colored ink, and it was pale brown with a pinkish center.
“Are you still happy with this one?”
“A hundred percent,” Helen said, her face glowing. When Jackson asked her to remove her shirt she didn’t hesitate.
