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PROLOGUE
BRISTOL
Eight Months Ago . . .
Staring out the window, I don’t really see anything out there. I’m not paying attention to the blue sky or the dark clouds rolling in. My mind is screaming at me with all that I’d gone through at the hands of a madman. If not for the pain meds, my body would be throbbing where I was stabbed.
I close my eyes, and my breath hitches as I remember the sound of the guy’s voice. Of him telling me he was sorry and that it was my fault because I had allowed myself to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He hurt me. He raped me, leaving his semen on my body, making me feel dirty than the dirt I laid in. Then he left me there to die. I wish I had. Dying would have been much more pleasant.
I can’t even face those who saved me. The very idea of any of them having witnessed me at my lowest is more than enough embarrassment to handle. I wanted them all to leave, but they refused to go. Ivy, Reaper’s ol’ lady, has only left me alone tocheck on the twins. During those times, Reaper sat in the chair, keeping quiet. Even though he hasn’t spoken, I’ve felt his eyes on me. Ivy, though, she’s been talking to me every once in a while.
“I want to go home,” I finally speak up when Ivy returns, but I don’t look at her.
“The doctors don’t want you to go home by yourself. You need someone to help you for a little bit while you heal,” Ivy remarks, taking her seat next to Reaper.
“I can take care of myself, I’ll be fine,” I mumble, turning to stare at the two of them. Why is it they won’t leave me alone? The nurses were scared to ask them to leave—any of them.
I wanted them all to go, but they refused to listen. That is, all but one.
Beast.
He’d come in earlier, and when I said I didn’t want to see him, he turned around and left. From what I’ve heard, he left the hospital altogether. A part of me aches at the knowledge he did. This being due to the fact I’ve been half in love with the guy since the first time I met him years ago. But he wouldn’t lift the friendship status that he put me in. To him, I was just his friend, along with the waitress who brought him his beers. I had to watch him flirt and take home more than one woman over the course of years.
With this having happened, knowing that I’m in love with the man, I didn’t want him to see me like this. It’s bad enough he was there when the guys found me. I can’t face him now.
“Don’t try that shit with us, Bristol,” Reaper remarks gruffly. The tone of his voice sends chills down my spine. Put that with the way his eyes seem to hold that edge of rage in them. I’ve always known he was a man you don’t screw around with. Which I wouldn’t in the first place. He’s a friend along with being my boss. His wife and ol’ lady, well, she’s become a reallygood friend. “You need someone to help you, and with all that happened, we’re not about to leave you unprotected.”
“He’s right, Brissy,” Ivy says, scooting her chair closer. Reaching out, she takes my hand in hers. “We’re taking you home with us. You can stay there as long as you like. You’re not alone in this. We’re here for you. All of us are.”
Not all of them.
Beast wasn’t.
But that’s my fault.
I turned him away.
And in the process, I feel like I might have lost my best friend.
Four Months Ago . . .
“What do you mean he left?” Pain slices through me at the news Ivy and Sutton just gave me, not realizing the impact it would have on me.
It’s been months since the attack, and I’m still living at Reaper and Ivy’s house. I haven’t gone back to working at the pub, and I don’t think I want to. I have a hard time even stepping out the front doors of this house. Going there would be more than I can handle. I finally got to where I can go to the clubhouse without panicking. Going there, I knew I was safe. No one could hurt me there.
Or so I thought.
Beast did, though.
He ignored me the first time I went there and ended up taking one of the women there back to his room.
That was a few days ago.
Now, he’s gone.
“Yeah, Reaper, just told me Beast was heading out for a while to handle some club business,” Ivy answers, watching me carefully. “He’ll be back, though.”
I nod, feeling myself shut down. This isn’t going to be easy. I’ve lost him, and I never even had him in the first place.
