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“You’re cooking for me?” A coy smile teases the corner of his lip.
“Well, you’re helping me build a business, so it seems fair to do something for you in return.”
“Is it safe?”
I swat at hisveryhard pec. “I’ve been practicing. Of course, it’s safe.”
“You know you don’t have to do this, right? I like helping you.” He lets me go and takes a seat at the kitchen table.
“I know. But I need to learn to cook and feeding you is a good excuse to do that.” I lift a shoulder and turn to flip the chicken. When it’s done I drain the pasta, mix it all together and add the alfredo sauce with a little extra oregano.
“Ta da.” I set a plate in front of him.
“Looks fantastic.” He digs in, and is finished by the time I’ve had about five bites.
“Did you even taste it?”
“Yes, I tasted it, smartass. It was really good, thank you.” He rinses the dish and sets it in the sink before returning to the table. “So, I’ve been thinking.”
Fortunately, I’m only a few bites in, or those words might have my food coming back up. “Nothing good starts with those words.” I blow on my next bite so I don’t have to put it in my mouth yet.
“This isn’t bad, just, fact.” He leans forward and props his elbows on his knees. “You know it’s been getting dark later and later, and in another month or so it won’t even start to get dark until after seven thirty.”
“Yes,” I prompt.
“And mud season is nearly over, which means the tourists will be coming back.”
“Go on.”
“This thing is only getting riskier the more daylight we have. Not to mention, if I’m not putting in an appearance at the bar people will start to speculate about what I’m doing.”
My stomach does another little flip. “What are you saying? You want to go back to the variety pack you can have with the tourists?”
“No.” He gives his head a quick shake. “This is working for me. And I told you I’m in this for as long as you want it, so unless you want to call it quits, I’m not walking away. We’re just going to have to take some more precautions.”
Only Deacon can make me feel like I’m soaring then bring me crashing back to the ground in the span of two seconds. And here I thought we were getting closer to the day when we wouldn’t have to hide. For the first time I wonder if hoping for that is futile.
“What kind of precautions?” I take a bite and chew slowly, though I can’t taste the food anymore.
“I’ll have to come over later. Closer to nine, I think. And I’ll have to pretend to pick people up.” He dips his head to rub the back of his neck, shooting me a wary glance as he returns to a seated position.
“How exactly do you pretend to pick someone up?” My voice is cold. Detached.
“Buy a few drinks. Flirt. Leave together but come up with an excuse to bail once we’re out of sight of everyone else. Food poisoning maybe?”
“Seems like an awful lot of work to keep this a secret,” I hint.Apparently, some part of me still believes in the dream.
“Yeah, but I’m up for it if you don’t want to end this.”
I take another bite, stalling while I think of a response. On the one hand—fuck this hiding bullshit. I never wanted it, still don’t, and only went along with it as a means to an end. On the other hand—aren’t we more than just fuck buddies? Isn’t there something real happening here? Something that could be great once he accepts it. If that’s the case, we just need a little more time. I could suffer through the secrecy if it leads to the outcome that feels like it’s within reach.
“I don’t, but I don’t love the idea of you picking up a bunch of women, even if it is pretend.”
“Honestly, I don’t either.” He lets out a heavy sigh as he sits straight up, shoulders more hunched than usual. “But it’s the only way to guarantee your reputation stays intact.”
“I still think you’re putting too much weight on the whole reputation thing. If people here were that prude they wouldn’t have accepted Blake, Becca and Jace the way they did,” I remind him of ourthreefriends who are currently dating each other. Living together in fact.
“That’s because none of them spent years sleeping around. Besides, you’re working on a business that will cater to families. You don’t need them questioning your judgment because you’re slumming it with me.”
