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“What do you mean, she's unaware?” Maddox barks, his tone deadly. “You’re going to need to explain this to me because I don't think it makes any sense. Why would Spencer hide this from her?”
Dave shrugs but averts his gaze and Lucas looks sheepish, like he doesn't want to have this conversation anymore. I know for a fucking fact that they are hiding something. I don’t know what it is but I don’t fuckin like it.
“It was an order and we followed it, like every previous team has,” Lucas murmurs, “Her relationship with Spencer is her own, and his choice on how he protects her isn't up for debate.”
I bristle at the idea of her having a relationship with him. Is he fucking her and that's why he has gone to such lengths? Did they start a relationship while he was guarding her and now he’s invested? Oh fuck…is he Aiden’s kid?
Before I can stop my dumb ass mouth I blurt, “Is he Aiden’s dad?”
Madd and Seb snap their gazes toward me, but I keep my eyes focused on Lucas who pales. He searches my face and when hedoesn't find whatever he’s looking for, he murmurs quietly, “You don't know who Aiden’s father is?”
My brows crash together, “It’s not in the file.”
“Of course, it’s not in the fucking file,” Dave grumbles, spearing us all with an exasperated look, “You aren’t here to watch Dakota. You’re here to make sure Aiden’s father never finds out that he exists.”
“Why the fuck would that matt-” my words are cut off as the reports finally start clicking into place. My eyes crash closed and fury ignites inside of me. Her physical exam, her young age when she became a mother….the over-the-top protection that HQ provides to them… he's the son of Rodrigo Sandoval, Head of the Sandoval Cartel.
Chapter 8
Dakota
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” - William Arthur Ward
Sometimes when I get lonely or anxious I crawl into my closet and open up my most prized possession. A hand-carved wooden box that houses all my favorite memories. Pictures of Aiden growing up, my mom’s golden locket, my Dad’s wedding ring, and every single letter that Damian sent me.
I’ve been collecting little pieces of my life that I can carry with me. Small trinkets that mean the world to me, all stuffed into one little box that I can shove into my backpack when we need to run.
After leaving the guys downstairs to get settled I immediately crawled inside my closet and slowly I pulled one of the letters out and opened it, careful not to tear the paper. I needed a moment to dive into my favorite comfort memories. I learned a long time ago that these memories can help me fight away my demons. Sometimes just opening this little box will let me center myself.
There’s something so inviting about the three men downstairs. Sure, Maddox, or Maddy, seems to be a bit broodish and Sebastian is definitely manwhore flirt…but, Wolf. Wolf is like a woman's romance fantasy come to life and he's going to be living in my fucking house. It’s overwhelming honestly. I have spentyearsbeing alone and okay. And for the first time I felt…interested.
01 October, 2014
Bre,
I was thinking about you a lot today. Not that that is different from any other day. But I was thinking about college and the future. I think we should apply to the same schools, see if maybe we can start our future together.
I was thinking somewhere on the east coast or up north, the heat in Texas is a little too much. Plus I know how much you love the snow. Do you think that’s crazy? I can’t wait to spend my life with you.
People probably would tell me I am. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think I just got lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend. Not many people can say that, ya know?
Anyway, I wanted to give you this little gift as well. I miss you little sunshine, even though you’re always on my mind.
XO,
Dam
Tears flood my eyes as I carefully pull the little dried sunflower out of my memory box. It's laminated but I still think it needs to be handled with care. It’s probably one of my most treasured possessions. I remember when Damian mailed it to me; his mom and his had picked it and dried it themselves before turning it into a bookmark. It's one of the few things I was able to get from my house before I was whisked away into protective custody.
I don’t do this often…the whole thinking about the before. But sometimes it's hard not to wonder what life would have been like.
What would have happened if my father wasn’t funneling money for the cartel? What would my life have looked like if he had decidednotto steal from Rodrigo? Would I have gone to college and gotten a degree? Would I be married to Dam and have a bunch of babies in the Pacific Northwest? Or would we have wanted to settle down beside his family in Texas?
I’ll never get any real answers, I know that. And I don’t have any regrets because all the things that happened, traumatic as they may have been, led me to have Aiden. And I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.
I definitely wasn’t ready to be a mom at fifteen, and I didn’t deserve what happened. But I would go through it all again if it meant having my little guy. He’s a fucking turd and he annoys the shit out of me sometimes, but he’s my guy. My ride or die, no matter what.
So yeah, I try not to sit here and overthink my past, or get stuck in thewhat if’s.It's just a reminder that I won’t ever have those things I used to dream of. Doesn’t stop me from wondering though.
