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I wish I had been able to say goodbye to Damian. He probably has no idea what happened to me or why I ended up justghosting him. I hope that some part of him knows that I would never willingly have abandoned him. Or maybe he just never thought of me again. That idea gives me a lot of comfort. Because the other option…the idea that I could have caused him any pain just doesn’t sit right with me. So yeah, I would rather think that he moved on and forgot about me completely.
It’s pathetic how obsessed I am with a memory that probably means nothing to the other person now. Nine years later I still keep letters from my childhood pen pal. And he probably doesn’t even remember sending them.
Sighing I place my memories back in the box and shove it into the corner of the closet. I sit on the floor beside the box, squeezing my eyes closed and wishing that the memories would fade. Just for once I want to feel like I’m in control of my emotions.
???
When I get up the next morning I don’t bother waking up Aiden, knowing he can use all his rest before he has to start over again at a new school tomorrow. That is if I can get him enrolled today, which means I need to talk to my new babysitters and see if one of them can escort me. I know the drill by now. I’m never permitted to leave the house alone, or with only Aiden. We will have protection on us at all times.
It used to bother me. Like I was being smothered. But now it's comforting. Especially considering that Rodrigo had found us in Maine. I can use the extra warmth and fuzzies.
When I get into the kitchen, the smell of coffee is already filtering through the air and my gaze lands on the scariest ofthe three. Maddox. He is sitting near the island, slowly sipping a coffee, and reading some paperwork on the counter.
One glance and I already know it's my files, so I immediately look away. My cheeks heat with embarrassment at knowing that he is reading through all of the shit I have been through.
“Morning,” I murmur as I make my way to the coffee machine, wanting to let him know I’m in the room without actually looking at him. I don’t know exactly what the file holds but I can imagine. And none of it is fun reading material.
“Good mornin’,” he replies in the gruff tone he had yesterday, “Did you have anything you needed to get done today?”
I glance at him to see the paperwork shuffled back in the file and pushed to the side. At least he’s considerate. My response is nervous, like it always is when we get new babysitters, ‘I um need to get Aid signed up for school. It’s kind of late but I’m hoping they won’t have an issue. Classes start tomorrow.”
He nods at me, not hesitating, “Of course, one of us can make sure that gets done today. Tell me what your day normally looks like.”
I kind of enjoy the no-nonsense way he speaks to me. He isn’t beating around the bush or pretending that he is getting to know me, he just wants to know what this job is going to be like. I can appreciate that.
I swallow the coffee in my mouth and quickly tell him what it usually looks like, “I wake up at four in the morning and go for a run around five-ish, Lucas used to go with me. Then I shower and get ready so I can take Aid to school around eight. Then I come right back here and work from the home office until around three when I head back out to get Aid. We come back and make dinner together then watch some TV or just hang out. He’s lights out at nine on school nights, and I usually go hide in my room for the night.”
He purses his lips and nods at me, tilting his head, “You go shopping or hiking or anything? Public outings are fine, we just need to prepare for that situation.”
I shake my head, my cheeks heating, “No, anything I need I just order to the house. Groceries can be delivered or Lu would go get them. Everything else I already have. Um…sometimes Lu or Dave would take Aid out to get clothes or school supplies. If they didn’t then I would just order it to the house.”
He nods along, absorbing my words without a hint of judgment. I can appreciate that level of seriousness. I’m definitely not normal, by any means. I’m anxious and antisocial, so new people tend to throw me off. but Maddox seems to be similar to me. Quiet and thoughtful. Except he’s more of a brooding type than my timid demeanor.
“Wolf or I will do your morning runs with you,” he says, getting back to the previous discussion, “Seb is more of a weight lifter so I doubt he could keep up with an avid runner. But he can probably do school drops and pick-ups with you if myself or Wolf are busy. One of us, most likely two or all of us, will be here at all times. But we won’t bother you or cramp your style.”
I let out a small humorless laugh, “There’s no style to cramp. I uh…usually the teams would be around a lot. I make enough food for everyone so y’all can eat with us or…or not. No pressure of course. I’m sure you have other things to do than…anyway…I don’t want to crampyourstyle. And uh if Aiden gets to be too much just let me know…he can be really friendly.”
Maddox continues to stare at me the entire time that I ramble through my little speech and it only intensifies the heat in my cheeks as a small almost imperceptible smile plays on his lips.
“He won’t bother us and honestly, I doubt any of us would pass up a home-cooked meal,” he says, his voice softening from that rough and gruff to a more calming tone.
“O-okay,” I reply, returning his smile and turning to the fridge.
Luckily, Lu did our shopping while I unpacked so we are stocked up for at least a week. I grab out eggs, ham, bell peppers, and cheese before turning back to the island.
“Do you guys like omelets?” I ask as I turn back towards the cabinets and grab the utensils that I need.
“Love them,” he replies, his stool scraping against the ground as he stands up, “How can I help?”
“Um…dice up the peppers?” I ask, glancing up at him to make sure he really wants to help. I offered to cook so I don’t want him to offer and it not be genuine. I don’tneedanyone's help. But I won’t turn down the company.
He doesn’t say anything, instead, he nods and gets right to work beside me, cutting up the veggies while I crack eggs and get a pan heated up. He reminds me a lot of Lucas but in a more gruff and scary way. Don’t get me wrong, Maddox is a handsome guy. But the fact that he is all grumpy and broody is too close to Lucas for my liking.
Aiden comes stumbling into the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Morning, Mom.”
“Morning, booger,” I reply, shooting him a look that screamsshow some fucking manners.
“Oh, morning Maddox,” he says softly, his adorable face flushing. He always gets nervous around new people. Honestly, I kind of do too. I always worry they won’t like Aiden and they’ll be hurtful. He’s sensitive. No one ever tells you that the idea of someone being mean to your child can physically hurt you.
