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“Spence,” I answer on the first ring, worry snaking its way through my veins.
“Wolf…” he breathes, his voice shaky, “He got out…he fucking escaped.”
Chapter 12
Dakota
"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness." - Desmond Tutu
The worst part about my anxiety is this overwhelming feeling of impending doom. I’m not talking about anything crazy like the world ending or something monumental like that. It’s just this horrible kernel of doubt that wiggles its way inside of my chest and hunkers down there, murmuring doubts into my brain.
It all started this morning when I went to meet up with Wolf for my run. Only it wasn't Wolf who ended up meeting me. Nope, it was Maddox. And when I asked him where Wolf was he gave me some bullshit lie about having work to get done. Because apparently Wolf wakes up at 0500 to get paperwork or some shit done. It was a blatant lie and it only served to make my anxiety grow.
I tried to brush it off in the hopes that it was just my weird brain that was making me feel like he was avoiding me. Except then we got back from the run and Wolf was still holed up in his room. All through breakfast he never once made an appearance.And then we left to take Aiden to school and by the time we got back, Maddox said that Wolf had gone on a run.
I’m not clingy, I swear. But it really is starting to feel like he is avoiding me. And I would understand, I guess, after last night.
It’s not all that attractive when a grown woman wakes up screaming from silly nightmares. And to add to my complete lack of self-preservation, I forced the man to sit in my room until I fell asleep. All while I laid there and dreamt of his mouth on mine. Jesus.
And now, sitting in the room that is supposed to be my safe place, I can't stop thinking about how he must be so appalled by my behavior that he doesn't want to be around me. And worse than that…my brain has decided to move forward and think that something else is wrong.
What could be wrong, you ask?
Nothing.
It's just my stupid head trying to tell me that there is some impending horrific incident about to happen. I don’t know what horrible thing is going to happen or why I have decided it's definitely on the horizon. No one will ever be able to explain why my trauma decided to manifest in this particular fashion.
Sighing I lean my forehead against the cool top of my desk and beg my brain to slow down. I don't want to take my anxiety medication but it's starting to feel like I might need it if I want to get any work done. It’s just that I feel sluggish or like a zombie for hours after I take it. It definitely gets rid of the anxiety but it almost mutes everything else too.
I shake my head and focus back on the screens and the codes. I dive into it so hard that I lose track of time as I get lost in a world that isn't physically real. I’m so goddamn invested that I don't hear the door to my office open or notice that someone enters.
I let out a shriek when someone's hand lands on my shoulder and I spin around, standing to face my attacker. But I end up coming face to face with a sweaty breathless Wolf.
Shiiiit, he's a good-looking man.
“What the fuck,” I breath, gripping my chest and trying to will my heart to slow down.
“I knocked,” he responds, his face completely serious.
“Okay,” I reply, dragging out the word. I take my time, looking at his features, his brow is creased and his lips are thinned. I realize now that maybe my anxiety was right. No…it was definitely right. Something is wrong, “What is it?”
He grips the nape of his neck and shifts on his feet in a nervous gesture that seems so unlike him. “Sit down, Dakota.”
Oh god.
Oh, it's like a breakup but worse.
I bet he's going to tell me that I can't cross that line like I did yesterday. He's going to scold me for being fucking needy and begging him to sit in my room.
How fucking embarrassing.
I plop into the desk chair unable to stand.
Oh no…oh god.
What if he tries to get someone new to take over the post? We just got here. We felt safe with them and they get along great with Aiden.
Fuck.Now he's going to leave and take the other two and they’re going to leave us. We are going to have to re-introduce ourselves to a whole new group of watchers. Aiden is going to blame me and he would be right to do so.
