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I pause for a moment thinking of what to say. He takes my face in his hands and says, “Open up to me, Lizzie. Trust me.” I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and begin telling him about my past history with my father.
“Okay,” I say weakly. “I don’t have a good relationship with my father now. He divorced my mom when I was twelve. I know that happens in a lot of families, but my parents didn’t even fight, and if they did, they hid it very well. I was at a slumber party one night, and when I came home the next day, my father had moved out of our house. Like, that was it! He was gone. Just like that. He didn’t leave town or anything, but he left me and my mother. My brother was in college and was living on campus, so it didn’t affect him the same way. I guess I just felt abandoned. I was always a ‘daddy’s girl’, and so I didn’t understand why he left me there. After that, in an effort to gain my forgiveness, he began buying me all kinds of gifts: a cell phone, a car, and even a house.” I take a breath and roll my eyes.
“He bought you a house?” Miles questions.
“Yes, well, it was supposed to be for both of us, so I could live with him until I finished high school. I think he may have stayed there a handful of times. The rest of the time he was with his girlfriend, living at her house. So, I basically lived by myself while I went to high school. Obviously, that probably sounds like a dream come true, but it wasn’t. I’d never felt so alone in my life, even though I had tons of friends. I tried to do as many extracurricular activities as I could, so I was always busy, However, when I would get home, I was always alone. I even had to make myself something to eat by myself, and I don’t even cook. I guess that would have been a good time to learn,” I say with a sarcastic chuckle. “Anyways, it sucked. He basically left me twice.” Tears begin to stream down mycheeks, and Miles brushes them away with his hands.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, and at such a young, impressionable age. I can’t imagine. Yet you have grown into an amazingly strong woman,” he assures, as he kisses my forehead.
“I had to grow up fast. And I realized that anytime I was upset with him, he would buy me something to make up for it,” I sputtered. “It took me a while to figure out that presents were not what I wanted; I needed him, my dad. Because he wasn’t ever there much, it drove a wedge between us. I started declining the gifts and refusing to see him as much. Once I went off to college, I had to cut ties with him because it wasn’t healthy for my mental state. He married the woman he was dating, and she has children my age and a little older. He took to them as if they were his own, and I felt like I was the ugly stepchild, looking in on his new family. I couldn’t compete with that, and I didn’t want to. It hurt too much!” I rest my head against Miles’ chest, and I take in a deep breath. He wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I don’t know how long we sit there like that, but he gives me exactly what I need. His strength pours out of him and into me.
He pulls back so I can look at him and says, “I see why it’s difficult for you to trust people. I think I would be the same if I had been in that situation.”
I just nod in agreement. “Sarah is the only one that knows this story, and that’s because she was there when I went through it all. I’ve never told anyone else,” I admit, looking into his eyes. He rubs his hands up and down my back in a comforting motion.
“Are you scared that I’ll leave you, like he did?” he asks quietly. I stare at him for a moment. How can he know that? How can he already read me so well?
“Yes,” I confess. Since all that happened, it’s alwaysbeen my fear that the people closest to me will leave me. His betraying and abandoning me like that instilled this fear in me, and it’s hard to shake it off. I guess that whole experience with him, and then my own terrible romantic failures, just make me feel like it’s inevitable.
“Listen to me,” Miles says sternly. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I have never met anyone like you, Lizzie. I’ve never wanted someone so badly in my life. You are everything I have been waiting for, and I’ll be damned if I let you slip through my fingers.” He pauses and says more calmly, “I will never cheat on you. When I’m not with you, you are what fills my mind. You are my endgame, Lizzie. Please trust me with your heart. I’ll keep it safe.”
I smile and put my hand to his chest. “I trust you, Miles.”
He smiles and lightly kisses me. It’s tender at first, and then it becomes passionate. We only pull back when we need to catch our breath. “Good girl. Now let’s go to bed,” he says, standing up with me still in his arms.
I manage to squeak out a shaky, “Okay.” Hearing the words 'good girl' really does something to me. I like it. I want to be his good girl. I want to make him happy.
He holds me close as he walks us toward his bedroom.
Chapter 18
Miles
The next morning when my alarm goes off, I shift my arm to turn it off before it wakes Lizzie. Turning back toward her, I pull her body closer, loving the warmth and feel of her body pressed against mine. My hands rove over her hips and down her legs. She has the softest, creamy skin. I groan as my hands slide over her smooth belly. I pull her hip back further, so she can feel what she does to me. She brushes her sweet ass against me, and I try to think of anything other than pinning her to the bed and marking her as mine. Moving a few strands of hair, I kiss her neck and see goosebumps erupt over her skin, even when she isn’t fully awake. Her vanilla perfume fills my senses, and I have to force myself to put a pause on this. I told her that she’s my endgame, and I meant it. I’ve got to break down the walls around her heart before we can become intimate. I don't want her to regret anything, especially not me. It’s going to be hard as hell but will be more than worth the wait. She is worth everything, and I want to give her everything that she deserves.
Last night, she opened up a lot, which has given me more insight into what's going on in that beautiful head of hers. I now know, to an extent, how she has been hurt in the past. My mind immediately goes to her ex who was following her the other night. I need to know his story. I must keep my girl safe, and she isn't going to be with him lurking around. I could see the crazy in his eyes. Maybe he was on drugs andnot just crazy, but I don't want him anywhere near her. That thought makes me see red and has my fist clenching at my side.
Looking back down at my sleeping goddess, I notice her black hair splayed across the pillows. I can’t help but stare at this beautiful woman in my bed. She has very quickly become everything to me. I want to wake up every day with her in my bed or our bed. After telling me about her father last night, I felt our relationship shift into a deeper connection. She has never told anyone about that, and it makes my heart swell with pride. She trusts me enough with those memories. I have fallen so hard for Lizzie. I wish I could stay cuddled up with her all day, but I have to get up and get the day started. I look out of the windows of my room and see the sun hasn’t come up yet. I give Lizzie a kiss on the cheek and slide out of bed. I don’t want to wake her this early, so I leave her to get more rest.
I pull on my workout clothes and head to my gym. After I put in my ear pods, I jump on the treadmill. I don’t even hear the music; my thoughts are back on my girl sleeping in my apartment. I wish this was our apartment. I don’t ever want to be away from her. I want her here when I go to work and when I get home. Her presence is what I have been missing, and I don’t want to know what it feels like when she leaves today. I wish I could talk to my father right now. I wish he could give me advice. I know Lizzie is the one for me. The amount of love coursing through my bones tells me she is my soulmate. However, I don’t want to move at a pace that isn’t comfortable for her. If it were up to me, I would have movers at her apartment today. I want to protect and care for her for the rest of our lives. Thinking of protection for Lizzie, I kick my machine up a notch to work off the extra anxiety. I don’t want him anywhere near her. I don’t even want her to work at the restaurant. She doesn’t need to, especially if she comes and lives with me. I could give her everything she ever needs. Knowing she is used to being on her own and values her independence, I doubt she’ll allow me to care for herfinancially. That’s why I wish I could talk to my father; he could advise me as to what do. I just need to bring it up to her. I told her I would be honest with her from day one, so that means with what I’m thinking, as well.
My thoughts wander back to Lizzie moving in with me and my heartbeat accelerates. That’s such a huge step, but ironically, it doesn’t faze me at all. I feel completely comfortable with Lizzie. I can be myself around her, not my CEO persona that I have to display most of the time. I can relax and just be me. I need that balance in my life, and I finally found it in the form of a beautiful, curvy, and brilliant, brown-eyed girl. Or rather woman. A smile crosses my lips when I think of that song, I’m going to add that to my workout playlist.Brown Eyed Girlby Van Morrison is a catchy tune, even if it’s about a guy reminiscing about his lost love. Although that’s not our situation, I can appreciate the love he has for her and yearn for the adventures he sings about.
Glancing down at my watch, I see I’ve reached my cardio workout goal. I slow the pace to a cool down and wipe my face with a towel. Once off the machine, I transition to weightlifting. Grunting through the various sets, I finally place the bar on the bench press rack. I sit up, wiping my face and neck, then chug from my water jug. I sit for a moment longer as my heart rate adjusts to its normal pace.
I finish in the gym, grab a fresh towel on the way out, and walk up the stairs toward my bedroom. When I walk in, I see the bed is empty, and my heart starts pounding in my chest until I hear the shower going. I take a deep breath and smile that she’s comfortable enough to shower here. I can hear her singing some pop song along with the music on her phone. Walking over, I knock at the door. I crack it a little and say, “Good morning, beautiful. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“You didn’t. I needed to get up and run some errands before going to the bookstore,” she replies.
“Do you need anything in there? There are extra towels in the cabinet and a robe if you need it.”
“Thank you, that would be great. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I shut the door and head to the kitchen to make my morning shake. My back is to her when she walks into the room a few minutes later. I turn around and look at this stunning angel in front of me. Her raven hair is damp, running down her back. Her face is void of all makeup, but she’s still beautiful. Wearing the navy robe that I keep in the bathroom, I notice it’s too large for her, which makes me chuckle. I’ll have to get a smaller one for her. I make a mental note to tell my assistant today.
“You have never looked more beautiful,” I tell her. I hear a little scoff come from her lips, and it only makes me want to prove my point even more. “I would hug you, but I’m all sweaty; you would need another shower,” I say, wagging my eyebrows at her so she knows what I mean. She laughs and gives me a small shove.
“I’ll just kiss you then,” she replies as she leans up on her toes to reach my lips. Hers are so soft and plump that I want to kiss and nibble on them all day. She pulls away and rests back on her feet.
