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“So, is there coffee?” she asks expectantly. I grimace because I haven’t become accustomed to her need for coffee first thing in the morning. She isn’t quite a morning person, the way I am.
“I can get Thomas to go get you some. It will only take a few minutes. I suppose I need to get a coffee machine. I normally get it on the way to work or while I’m there.” She looks at me with horror in her eyes.
“How can you not have a coffee machine? You literally have every other appliance in this place! It’s like the mostimportant fixture in the kitchen. I could argue it’s more important than a stove!” she exclaims.
I tilt my head back and belly laugh. This woman is something else. I love her silly, whimsical side. However, I think she’s pretty serious right now, though, if her facial expression indicates anything. In fact, I’d say I pissed her off. I definitely need to add that to today’s shopping list. I hold my hands up in defense.
“Sorry, baby, I know coffee is your lifeline in the morning. I should have known better,” I say, still chuckling a bit, but I scoot out of punching range.
“You should have. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t have a coffee machine. That’s simply crazy. I guess I’ll pick up a cup or three while I’m out.” She smiles, adding, “You’re going to need to fix this situation.” As she walks away, she mumbles, “I can’t believe my boyfriend doesn’t have a coffee maker!” If I wasn’t already smiling, I would be now. That’s the first time she’s called me her boyfriend, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love it.
I run up behind her as she’s walking back to the bedroom. I scoop her up, spinning her around, until she starts squealing and laughing. I put her down and smash my mouth down on hers. I need her lips on me like I need another breath. I can’t get enough. Once we pull away, she’s panting and looking at me with awe in her eyes.
“What was that for?” she asks breathlessly, smiling while a blush breaks out over her cheeks.
“I just couldn’t help myself. I wanted to get you riled up. I needed to taste you again, anyway,” I croon, as I tuck her hair behind her ear. “Plus, I heard what you called me under your breath, and I had to get you in my arms,” I whisper into her ear, as I suck her lobe into my mouth.
She gives me a radiant smile and declares, “Go shower, Miles! You’re soaked, and honestly, don’t smell that great.” She giggles.
I gasp and hold a hand to my chest in mock horror. Smiling, I suggest, “You sure you don’t want to join me?”
Arousal flickers in her eyes for a moment, before she straightens up and replies, “You’re going to be late for work, and I’ve got to get dressed and head out.” I smirk, giving her a wink and walk into the bathroom to shower.
“Suit yourself,” I return, before closing the door behind me. I hear her groan, which makes my cock jump at the sound. I need her badly.Soon. Very soon.
Chapter 19
Elizabeth
I text Sarah as soon as I leave Miles’ apartment and ask her to meet me for coffee. She quickly responds back that she’s on her way. I sigh in relief because I need some girl talk ASAP. Likeseriousgirl talk. Maybe I’m freaking out over nothing, but I feel like things with Miles are going too fast. I guess the whole interaction this morning seemed so domesticated. It felt like we’ve been together for months, not just a mere week; and it scares the shit out of me. Knowing Sarah will be able to talk me through this gives me comfort. If anyone can talk me off the ledge, it will be her.
Putting my phone away, I amble to the coffee shop where we plan to meet. I glance around but don’t see her yet, so I head to the counter and order our drinks. As I grab the last available table, I sling my bag on the empty seat, so no one will come grab it. The nerves coursing through my body right now could energize me enough to run a marathon. Coffee probably isn’t the best thing to drink. I already feel like I could have a heart attack, with how fast my heart is racing. I’m not even sure where this anxiety came from. Everything was great this morning, waking up in Miles’ bed. I could still smell where he had been lying when I woke up to his empty bed. His cologne sent shivers up my spine as I rolled over onto his pillow, before getting up and taking a shower.
How could I have let myself fall for someone so quickly?
Am I out of my mind?
I just swore off men two weeks ago and now, here I am spilling my most inner insecurities to a man I’ve known such a short time. I can feel myself begin to spiral when I hear the barista call “Jane.” I look around to see if anyone else is going up to the counter. When no one moves, I know it’s my order.Yes, I know that I’m crazy to use different names. Maybe I’m all around crazy since I seem to be dishing my heart out to an almost stranger. No, he’s not a stranger. Ironically, he’s never seemed like a stranger. My thoughts have completely overtaken me by the time Sarah plops down in front of me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, as she studies my face and my foot bouncing at an unnatural pace. “First, before you even start talking, slow down and take a deep breath. That’s the only way we are going to get through this. Did you get decaf? I don’t think you need anything else,” she remarks, gesturing to my body language.
I can’t help but smile; I love this woman. I shake my head no because, obviously, I didn’t think about decaf until after the fact. I take some deep breaths to calm my racing thoughts and put some sort of order to them. They don’t need to come out as a jumbled mess when I decide to speak. I concentrate on the air going in then out through my mouth. Over and over. Sarah takes a sip of her coffee, pulls off her jacket, and lays it on the back of her chair.
“Okay,” I begin, with a bit of a tremble in my voice that I know she hears. “I told Miles about my dad last night. Like, I told him everything. Everything that no one knows except you. It just spilled out of my mouth like vomit,” I blurt because I really don’t know any other way to say what I did. I keep that part of me locked away in a box, guarded with metal locks. My mother doesn’t even know the extent of my pain. Only Sarah. She was there for me when I needed her, and she didn’t leave me like my father did. She stayed and helped me put my lifeback together.
“Okay, so you opened up to him. Did he not take it well or something? You are going to have to walk me through this. I know you don’t trust anyone with that part of yourself, but I can see how you feel about him. It’s natural to share your pasts with each other,” she expounds, then reaches over, putting her hand on mine. I didn’t realize I was drumming it against the table. I instantly feel her calmness wash over me.
Unshed tears prick at my eyes as I look at my best friend. “No, he took it extremely well. He comforted me and asked if that’s why I don’t trust easily. It’s like he was looking into my soul. All I could do is nod, and he pulled me in close to his chest. It was actually the most amazing reaction I think I could have gotten,” I say breathlessly. “He leaned back and pulled my chin up, so I could look at him, and he said that he will never hurt or cheat on me. Miles mentioned that he truly believes I am meant for him. That I’m his endgame, and he isn’t going to let me get away,” I reveal, summing up everything.
Sarah squeezes my hand, and I look up to see a huge smile on her face. “I knew I liked that man. He’s good for you, Lizzie. Listen to me. We’ve both had our share of terrible boyfriends, but I honestly think he’s the one for you. I know it’s so soon, and that’s why you are scared, honey; but I think you will regret it if you walk away from this,” she says gently. I know she’s right about regretting it, but I’m also terrified he’ll hurt me more than anyone ever has in my life.
“And this morning, we were acting all couple-y, like we have been living together. He got up to work out, leaving me to sleep. Then I woke up, took a shower, and put onhisrobe!” I exclaim, but all Sarah does is smile wider.She isn’t understanding the problem. “Sarah, it’s only been a little over a week. I can’t be in this deep already. I'm scared to death that he is going to smash my heart, worse than it ever has been. I won’t recover; I know I won’t. I need help. I am freaking out! Pleasetell me what to do,” I plead.
Sarah takes a deep breath, sits up in her chair, and squares her shoulders, like she is going into battle. This slightly frightens me since I don’t know where she is going to take this conversation.
“Lizzie, you had a shit of a childhood after your father left. You can’t keep living in the past. I know it haunts you. I wish I could have kicked your father’s ass.” She chuckles, but continues, “Just because you were dealt a bad hand, does not determine the outcome of the rest of your life. Lizzie, you are a beautiful soul. You love others. You’re compassionate and giving. You are insanely creative. You're hilarious and fun to be around. It’s time for someone else to see what I see. Not all men are like your father, in fact, most aren’t. And most men aren't like the dirtbags you have dated. Those were all unfortunate relationships. Even though the relationships crashed and burned, you learned from them. You know what qualities are most important to you in a partner now. I haven’t met my soulmate, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe he’s out there. I will meet him when the time is right. Now is your time, Lizzie. You read all those smutty romance novels. You escape into them. It’s time you believe that kind of love is real.” Sarah squeezes my hand again, and I’m left speechless. I didn’t think she believed in soulmates. I didn’t believe in them.
I take a napkin and wipe my tear-stained cheeks. “Thank you for saying all of that. I didn’t know you believed in everything you just said. I guess I’m just scared. Well, I know I am. My own father left me. My own blood left me, and that betrayal is always in the back of my mind. I feel like if my father didn't love me enough, then how can anyone else. I know I have these deep-rooted issues; I’ve just got to get passed them,” I murmur quietly.
